B to the Z to the illa

We came we saw we conquered....

2011-08-31T23:12:00.008-06:00

So we were married on the 13th of August...I'm patiently wait for the pictures from the photographer...

meanwhile my sister the photographer took great pictures that can be found on her website....

http://www.heathershotyou.blogspot.com

One thing I did want to do was to let those who help make the day lovely be recognized...like the cake pop baker and the cupcake maker... :)

the venue and photographer...

I want to show my final result of my centerpieces and all the sweat, tears, and blood (yes..I had a hot glue accident ... was painful but I know Martha Stewart wouldn't allow me to cry thug tears...)

Just wanted to share in the work of the day ...our day and mixture of cultures.

I worked around the clock *especially that last week, yikes!!!*

I yelled and screamed and had a meltdown the day before...oh I was a B to the Z to the illa with a little bit of super stank in it... and I didn't want to be.

The next day I was calm (so I guess I needed to freak out the day before...it's okay to freak out before...it means you care)... the day of I had no meltdowns regardless of the things what went wrong and somethings went wrong, still we had a good time. :)

My husband (weird to say and kind of still surreal) suggested that I could do wedding coordinator as a job after since I enjoy all the planning so much and now I miss it and feel bored and empty without something to keep me busy...

Honestly....I did enjoy coming up with ideals...but unlike every other bride who plans her wedding and becomes "the queen of all wedding planning"...

I've decided...it's not for me. It has always been a dream of mines to be a wedding coordinator and to work with brides and their weddings but living it made me realize...I just couldn't join such a group of over paid, over priced people for under quality work perform and done(aka the wedding industry)... I couldn't live with suggesting over priced vendors to my brides or watch as one tells me she is willing to spend over $6,000 on centerpieces... huh??? I would always try to talk the couples into eloping and saving money and leaving me out of making money...(I am too frugal)

One thing I did love was making my shoes...and centerpieces and coming up with unique ideals.

So that is what I would like to offer other brides.

Tips on things you don't realize and tips on things people tell you often but still don't mean a thing until it hits you and you find yourself unprepared because they told you what to avoid but didn't give you advice on exactly how to avoid it.

I also want to make shoes for girls..and centerpieces and other things to make a wedding day "your special day"...

only difference is...my service is a gift and it won't be for all...just who I randomly decide to bless because all brides need some light at the end of the tunnel and I can't give them all light but I can help one or two when given the chance.

With that being said...

Things I learned after the wedding about the wedding and being married that no one told me....

Tip #1. Practice writing your new name
(I know you'll focus on invites and making sure you have a name changing kit but what good is changing it if you can't write it or don't feel comfortable writing it. Seems silly but really take time out to write it...that way when the husband gives you the check book and you start shoe shopping ...people won't think you stole some random guy's money.) :D

Peace and Love
The Mrs.

Centerpieces

2011-06-24T08:59:00.008-06:00

So I see these centerpieces that I loved how they put ornaments in the vases as fillers...

and I would personally love to combine this.. (not particularly in this style vase...

but more of these type of vases...

with feathers on top like this

of course it will all be done in the color I want..

anyways...

so I went on a search to find ornaments..ugh...
#1...not the holiday season so finding them isn't so easy
#2...I want them all to be in shades of pink...
#3...I don't need really big balls which most of them seem to be
#4...I found some but it would cost like over $100 to fill my vases with them..

Yikes... I am too frugal to accept that outcome... so I found a solution..

dollar tree foam balls + jo-ann's and micahel's sequins, fabrics and beads etc...etc... + my creativity =

This is just some of them....... next step....creating flower out of feathers. :)

Wedding Programs

2011-06-03T13:57:00.003-06:00

so I had the inspiration to make a wedding program that double as a fan...cool since our ceremony is outside right...

but then I said screw that ideal...

Why not make it a mini magazine of about 4-6 pages instead...

so it is work in progress and of course you won't see the whole finished deal but this is the cover for our mini magazine/wedding programs.

I am such a super dork...

I am not on a compliment diet so don't give me a sugar free one!!!

2011-04-18T15:57:00.003-06:00

What do some people think I look like...for some reason people who don't really know me as a person and have never really seen my true care-free sucka-free side think they need to find ways to fish for half ass compliments to give me...huh...I mean really...I don't ask for your suggestions and or compliments nor do I need them to verify who I am...I love me way too much...

So yesterday I am hanging out with people... when this person who I know calls me over to ask me if I lost weight...
now I've been working out for the last 3 months and not really have I lost weight that much weight...just a few pounds but it still shows a big difference in my body because I have done a lot of toning and slimming down of my current size...

So I am now a slim and less chunky version of my size...

This person know I have been working out (or at least I hoped they would since I've mention it the last 3 weeks I've seen them and they tried to stuff me with food like a negro mammy piñata)...but some people are not talented in the skills of compliment giving...they tend to give insult when they attempt to.

So said person ask me about my weight and I say "no, I haven't been working out" because I've mention exercising several times over the last 3 weeks that I've seen them and I figured if I mention to you 3 weeks ago about 30 times I was working out and you didn't listen as you kept piling tons of fat food on my plate and disrespectfully ignoring my request to not eat a meal of 8000 calories like I am a 500 pound man (even if I was trying to lose weight I still don't appreciate being fed like I am the 3 members of the Fat Boys combined)...so if someone seems to have short memory syndrome..(aka don't pay attention to Januari because we don't give a fuck what she says) why would I say something now...

Anyways...this person says... "oh well those pants that you are wearing make you look smaller"... (Thanks I guess..)

then it gets better...on my way from walking away, they also say, "you should try to lose some weight before the wedding"...

WTF!!!!

Well thank you for calling me fat 10 times in 1 minute... um ...also thank you for never listening to a word I spoke.... what you think I need to do for the wedding should be kept to yourself...unless your opinion is requested...how I feel about how I look for the wedding should be my choice...and I know and I have always known and I will be super cute, super cute (in my valley girl voice), with a lot of oozing oh so sexiness (because I just can't help it) and that is the way it will be....

People wonder why I am so quiet around them or never talk or open up... because I hate wasting my precious air that I work so hard on hoarding inside my lungs on those with cotton ears...

B to the Z to the Illa... is awake....and she is crushing anything that doesn't smell like Wedding Cake.... which means...don't ask me any questions, or give any suggestions without a piece of chocolate on chocolate goodness...

Inspiration...

2010-12-23T15:14:00.006-07:00

so I am the queen of all things unique... and this wedding has made me a DIY whore (sounds so dirty)...but yes...I love DIYing to the fullest and making this day we will share a special and unique day full of things that show us and who we are...

project #1 - my shoes...I found these peel & stick gems and these cute shoes and yes...I turn them into ruby heels...

with that being said...I found my dress - but the cost for a veil that I kind of liked...as they say on what not to wear "shut the front door"... so that brings me to project #2...

I am not quite finished but this is my inspiration for it...

I want it long and with lace...but you know I need some spakle magic in it as well...so when I finished my veil I'll post pictures of that too...

so brings me to project 3...

I want to incorporate a little tradition of both mines and his in the wedding.... I am going to need help from his family for the sofreh aghd

and for my culture being a black american woman...what is a wedding without jumping the broom...

yes I want to make my own wedding broom...and I will make it with a tad bit of sparkle magic...

so many people I think get confused about where the wedding broom came from in the Black american community...it comes from when slaves were not allowed to marry each other because marriage amongst slaves was consider illegal....jumping the broom was their secert way of confriming thier love and unity to each other without the slave owner knowing they were married but it was understood by others who was married to who....needless to say it is something many do out of respect and do it for recognizing the history and honoring their ancestors who were not allowed the rights to a marriage license but had to invent their own official way.

I am excited to have a little bit of everything in this wedding tied together nicely....I even found a wedding ceremony set up that I just adore and think will be prefect for our cultured filled wedding...

somedays I tend to freak out about the planning process but then I take a deep breath and focus...I am glad to say with less than 8 months...almost at the 7 month mark...

things are coming into focus and it isn't so bad.

peace in love...

Januari.

Ugh...is that all momma..

2010-10-21T20:54:00.002-06:00

Okay so writing about just weddings sucks when you are the queen of "random, off the wall" thoughts...so excuse me while I venture off into.."did she just say that?" land... as I do often.

So first lets keep it wedding blog friendly and talk about that stuff...so we decided to change locations again (not him..but me...lol) I have a feeling Ms. Zilla is a part of this reason, I will talk about it later...(I am not pointing fingers but I am blaming my alter-ego, cause the Queen doesn't act like that)

...none the less for those who will be receiving the wedding website address and password soon aka those we would love to see at the wedding...you still need to save your pennies, my dears... as regardless you will be traveling somewhere...

Now lets talk about my other things..

#1. I got a part time job because I realize that we need munnies for our happy time and it was either stripping, selling eggs to make my future babies or hard honest work to pay for the wedding...(I hate when hard honest work wins out..but this time it did)

#2. I still play the lottery...who knows maybe I'll get lucky..

or not..which brings me to my rant...

Dear friends and family who send me those money angels blessed by Jesus himself telling me if I don't forward them I will become a victim of identity thief and someone in Nigeria will clear out my bank account or if I forward them to 80 people in 2 seconds I will become a millionaire.

I don't know if you all got the memo but I hate chain letters especially in my email box...especially when they try to guilt trip me with Jesus and God and curse my pocket books thinner.

I don't need this stress in my life of not forwarding the money angel because it goes against my email beliefs of what I will spam to friends and family, only to be curse poor-er because I didn't send it. I need all my cash these days in a recession...wedding cost doesn't decrease but it seems to increase due to less weddings celebrations but more justice of peace inexpensive type of unionships celebrations.

(I am all for going that cheap route but my groom would have a fit if we did....ugh)

so please thank you for not sending me anymore "money chain curses" in my inbox or via my phone through text messages...also even if I wasn't getting married and trying to save money...I still wouldn't want these silly emails...

by the way...no need to send me the "it's sister week or girl friend week" ..according to that email, it is sister week every frickin week, I am honor you find me a cool woman but now it becoming SWF movie stylish with seeing those constantly.

no need to send me the "if you not ashamed of the lord" ....I don't believe Jesus or God approves of this email.

no need to send me the "bill gates, aol, seen on nbc".... I didn't want it in 1999 ...I don't want it now...

please don't send me bible quotes...I am pretty sure that site you signed up for to receive daily bible quotes is free and if I wanted them I'd sign up too.

please don't send me the black male calendar of "preference questionable" men with their shirts off and things bludging out of their pants...

unless you are sending me coupons, funny pictures (no funny or un-funny stories as I am not going to read them), or asking for my home address to send me a check (and not a nigeria scam type of cashier check), don't hit send with my name in the delivery "to:" section.

Signed...by yours truely...the email snob..
Januari

next time I'll get back on the wedding-ish

until
peace (remember only you can stop email abuse)

Aloha lets take the other road....

2010-10-06T10:58:00.004-06:00

Aloha lovelies....

So after a stressful but sucessful engagement party, I decided I can't do another one of those with more people and extra craziness. My sister and a few friends of ours who are married manage to talk me into Hawaii...

yeah ...

So back to the board of wedding planning I went. Hawaii has it pros and cons...for the longest I battle with only seeing more of the cons than the pros. When I get stuck in my ways, stubborn capricorn takes over and it takes mountain hills to move me to the other side where the grass is the same green but from preciption tends to look greener.

First task of Hawaii is finding out more about it as I've never been and neither has my man. We could ask friends and family who have and some suggested places...but than again if you are a sucba diving freak or a extreme kayaking guru, what you look for on vacation isn't what I do. I look at resort that offer all types of cool events for free, but once again nothing I care for. I thought maybe I would go for a place with a good luau, but came back to reality as I don't eat pork, chicken or beef and my man doesn't eat pork and many of our friends and family are either mainly vegatarian or non-pork eaters. So why spend money on a pricey thing if I won't enjoy the food?

I found a cool site that help me determined what Hawaii Island was best for us...kid friendly, beautiful rainforest and pretty beaches (even though I am not really a sand and beach type of girl). A semi tiny night life and still has nices area for those scuba and kayaking group and golf (if anyone is into it).

The conclusion was Maui.

So there you have it...

we are planning a wedding in Maui,

Pros:
it is a vacation for all
it is warm and beautiful
it's relaxing
less guest than a big stressful party
non of the traditional life draining rituals

Cons:
many people we want might not be able to make it
I kind of like the traditional wedding stuff
planning everything from long distant.

One thing I am happy about is the fact that now I get to strut my stuff on the beach in my awesome "Bride" flip flops I got from target... (I knew there was a reason I brought those)..lol

For those wanted to come to the wedding this is your waring...we are going to Maui,...start saving your pennies now.

Aloha
Januari
:)

With thee dreams I be sad...

2010-09-08T11:41:00.000-06:00

So there I was thinking, yah for help....everyone telling me don't stress, don't worry about how to pay for the wedding we will help. Problem is....that is easier said than done. So the reality of it all...it is just me and him and we are the ones paying for it all. This is fine and all, but it gets under my skin when someone says they can do something so important and something that plays a big factor in setting a date and time only to say well I said this but I didn’t really mean it. So here we are less than a year and completely unprepared or ready to have a wedding and it will take a miracle or a bank robbery to have a wedding on a date we set and we already booked some things.... I was upset. I was so upset and annoyed because I don't like when people make big promises that they know they can't keep. But it is all water under the bridge...I am onto plan B, C, D, F....whatever plan ...I've stop planning for the wedding I was planning for and now I feel like since I was the only one who did the hard work of researching venues, places with deals and ideals only to know that a year out those who wanted to help would flake...puts me in lazy mode. Not to say that I was expecting people to help, in the beginning I wasn't and I knew that...but I don't like when people don't expect me to be less shallow than the average girl and think if they tell me things it helps me. I wouldn't have like them or loved them less because they couldn't contribute to what we wanted as a wedding. But I wish they would learn honesty of being humble and putting their pride behind them enough to say, "if we could help out we will be we can't too much" hell...I am very appreciative if they said here is 50 dollars and that is all we can contribute. I mean at least I am not thinking... great, I have help, only to be told when I need it that it will happen but who knows how much or when it will happen.

So with no financial help whatsoever, the wedding my man keeps fighting me tooth and nails on as he wants this and this unrealistic thing for our day just won't happen. We are on a very limited budget and I am okay with that, sometimes I wish he would put his pride away and be okay with that as well. He thinks I was a $5000 dollar dress, when I don't. He thinks we need a 5 course meal and I hate 5 course meals, I rather have cocktail hour and cocktail hour only...but it is a team effort so I can't always get what I want. But at the same time, we can't afford what he wants...what am I too do???

I plan on blogging a little later...so plan b, c, d, and f will be dicussed soon... gggrrrr.

Seeing Red, Feeling Green

2010-08-10T22:49:00.015-06:00

So here we are in August and officially 12 months to go before I turn from Ms. to Mrs.

Somedays it can be exciting, and other days I rather just stop thinking about it all, quit planning and say screw this... grab his hand and run away to Vegas and do the drive-thru thing and skip all the planning, but it just wouldn't be fair to all the loves ones who want to celebrate with us.

One thing I hate is those pesky "to do list" on those wedding sites constantly sending me updates, "did you book a florist that will cost $2500.00? did you buy a dress for $5000.00 yet? Did you hire a coordinator for a trillion dollars...???? huh....trillion dollars...yikes!!!"....
I don't have a trillion 7500.00 doll hairs!!!! I can't afford all that.

Plus to top it off, if you don't have it done...they curse and shun you and call the etiquette police because you didn't make your bride's maid get a dress fitting in the 11th month out...ugh..whew...
I mean I can't keep up with outrageous to do list made to cater to girls ages 19-21 getting married way too young and who have a daddy paying for the wedding and don't work but shop and taste food with the coordinator all day. I mean I live in the real world.

Truth be told I only signed up for those sites just to enter into contests and to be inspired every now and then by cool ideals but I didn't think about preparing myself for situations like this, where they feel the need to hassled me with daily emails.

But on the good news... we have narrowed down a few venues...now I just have to set up times for the parental figures to see venues and approve of said venues...then we can move forward with knocking something off of those horrible "to do list" they have made only to make you feel bad and like a lazy bum as you don't have all the planning together as they say you should at 12 - 9 months to go...

So there you have it...No we haven't put down a deposits on a venue ...crazy websites can stop making us feel crappy like if we don't do it now we'll be stuck eating BBQ in the park at 8 am in the morning on a Tuesday because that is the only venue not booked in August of next year.

Truth be told, I am aware that a lot of venues are hurting due to the recession which is a sad thing...but it makes me also wonder if I should book something so soon...like what if I do book a venue and it can't afford to stay open long enough to make it though another year??? I might or might not get my deposit back and I will still be stuck looking for a venue... I know that is always going to be a risk to take but it is something that is more likely these days.
Beside something tells me that many a venues are not being booked so quickly (my hint, is the fact that many of them keep stalking me and trying to pressure us to book them)...
well needless to say...before the parental figures go back home, we will have sorted out the options and should claim our reception space...at least I hope so...*keeping fingers crossed*

Another thing I am still battling with is my quest for the perfect dress with the girls ...yes...my bride's maids...we've discussed how I want them to look and they know the fabric, length and color I want...so what is the problem.

I have learn that all reds are not created equal...so here I have different girls finding shades of reds that I don't like???? I showed them the red....how can they pick other reds...

(uh oh....B to the Z to the Illa kicks in)

I need my red, not fire engine red, not stop sign red, not blood red (kind of like blood red, I might even accept that red)...as long as it isn't hooker or rainbow highest level of terror red...I just want them to find dresses in the red I showed them or at least pick one of the other colors....this is harder than I thought....grrr
I also explain to them the fabric I prefer and somehow, some of them just keep pushing for fabrics I hate...and I can't tell them I hate the fabric and come off as anal but I want to be anal. In times like this I feel I have a "be anal because I can be" free card....

I mean... polyester blends, stretchy clinging material being passed off as great dresses for bride's maids (yeah, some places specializing in wedding attire actually suggest this...I won't name names..but what might work for others...I don't like nor want for my ladies)...omg....I feel like Red Fox playing Fred Sanford grabbing my heart because I can feel the big one coming and me yelling about how on my way to visit Elizabeth every time someone mentions to me or tells me to look at a dress and it turns out to be jersey material or something made all shiny out of nothing but the fabric taffeta...I just faint...goodness gracious, why would someone go out of their way to wear that fabric,... that is all I ask for...if you do taffeta at least have it a blend with chiffon or silk please...giving them the option to dress themselves might be a little tricky...I figured out a solution...this weekend I will be at Joann's (one of my fav. spots), picking out fabrics to buy and make my own swatches to give to the unsure ladies (not all of them ..but some of them) so they know to look for certain colors in certain fabrics that don't feel like they belong on girls who wear inapporiate clothes to work.

Now don't go thinking my colors for the wedding would be red and white, I tend to be color complexed...multi-lingual in crayon names so my color palate is broad....
I wouldn't reveal all my colors, red is just one of them......and telling you all of them (yeah there is more than just one color and white)...but telling you them, would take the fun out of surprises and I wouldn't want the guest or curious readers to know before my vision what it looks like...you have to wait until the big day when you arrived as a guest...or if you are a curious reader you have to wait until the pictures taken from the photographer are displayed.

now speaking of photographers, one thing I am proud of is finding the photographer. By luck and by hanging out on Bridal Tweet...(a cool helpful sites for brides that doesn't threaten you with "to do list", but helps you to find great vendors and connect with the ones in your area) so through Bridal Tweet I found Green Photography.

They took our engagement pictures...

They will be taking our wedding pictures...

A little about Green Photography...they are a husband and wife duo who will take great care of you so if you live in Southern California (L.A., Orange County, or the San Diego area) and you're looking for a photographer for a wedding, retirement party, baby shower...etc...any type of event...look up Green Photography
*note the web address is http://www.greenphotography1.com*.... <--- Enough shamelessly plugging of the photographers...

these last few weeks have been pretty busy as we've had parents here...His mother and father and my mother have all spent time with us this summer...

In addition we have an engagement party coming up...yay...

and I found a cool site that will allows me to create an interactive playlist (contest) that allows guest to request songs and vote on songs other guest request...

(now...I know my guest will get giddy at the thought of putting My Humps by Black Eye Peas on the list...only for me to crush them and say, I am aware that your song got 10 billion votes for coolest song ever but I have to veto that song...booyah, .....and break my lovely guest's hearts because that is what B to the Z to the Illa's do best in scary times of people wanting to hear Black Eye Pea songs knowing good and well I am not a fan of that group.)

The site is http://www.songvote.com/, for my guest I will put a link about where to request and vote later...

The link for our song vote contest shall be on our wedding site that I am currently half heartily working on at the current moment via ... http://www.theknot.com/ (of course I hang out on that site...One day I plan to post our personal site that I made on the knot with their free page option they give couples...it isn't reday for people to view yet but one day I will post that link on here as well... and I will do that before the wedding day, (it just isn't ready today...sorry)....

I promise...I so promise...

so don't go snooping around typing in our names trying to find our personal wedding site on The Knot either just yet, as it isn't complete and I can be anal about people seeing it unfinished and somewhat unprepared properly.

:)

well...I can rant forever...but I must say farewell until later...

gotta take care of home.

Peace & Love with a extra side of Joy...
until next time....

Feel pretty in the dress you're wearing/Oh mother of pearl!!!

2010-07-23T15:49:00.005-06:00

Hello Blog World,

Just wanted to do a quick little write/vent (whatever it may be called)

So how is everyone doing?

Here I sit thinking I should do a blog update. Now I am aware I don't update this often and it doesn't mean that my planning has stopped, it just means I don't blog to often. Truth be told, last week was spent sending emails to my bride's maids discussing dresses and options on how they will look and how they want to look... Oh and I added another bride's maid...say what...yes I did...It's my business to do so...lol ...(at least that is what I am sticking to saying)

Nonetheless. I didn't want the girls to all be the same traditonal looking, same color same dress get up,...(drives me crazy)....honestly I don't want them to waste money on bridesmaid dresses at all...they won't wear them again...even if they look different than each other with different dresses, more than likely who is willing to wear a bride's maid inspired dress to a lovely summer cocktail party, or to a wedding they get invited to later on in the year???

No one wants to show up to the wedding looking like they are a part of the wedding party when they are not, at least I wouldn't. So instead I offer them the chance to find their own dress as long as they followed a few simple rules,

Like the color, fabric, length ....and as long as they receive approval from me in the end, the choice is theirs, if one girl loves ruffles and empire waist dress than she can go on the perfect search for that because she knows it looks great on her. While another might hate ruffles and has a thing for wrap dresses, she will also get the her chance to find something to make her feel comfortable and beautiful.

I want them to be inspired to find pretty dresses from places like J.Crew (which has lovely summer inspired bridesmaid that you'd want to wear again.) So we'll see how the finishing product looks in the end as a complete picture, I know it will be nice (well I hope it will be nice, and I pray for it to look lovely).

***************************************************************

so I love to watch shows like Say Yes to the Dress, and I get a tad bit jealous of the women who have their mother's there for the wedding experience. Somedays I feel like neither of mines are present, while I want both of them, my mom and future mother in law to take a part in this. But I don't get the feeling like either of them want to. I know I am the person who always does things on my own but this is one thiing I wish I had support. How can I get them invovled or at least feel like they are apart of this. I know I picked the colors and the theme and I know how it should look...but what about the fun part of shopping ....no one wants to do that with me. I mean most people look forward to finding a dress and trying on dresses....I am avoiding dresses all around because I have no one to go dress shopping with and I have no dress support. Both of them discuss my wedding without me but neither will ask me question or offer to do things..., I guess I am the only one excited about our wedding. I don't expect them to jump out the window for joy but it would be nice if they wanted to be a little part of it other than just showing up.

Nonetheless

Here we are at the end of 13 months and soon heading into the danger zone of 1 year of planning...

everyone pray for me to get some mother support...I really would like some, even if it is a little.

Peace and Love

Say panir! (panir would be cheese in farsi)

2010-06-22T20:22:00.007-06:00

So here we are fourteen months to go...I keep saying I don't need to rush, we have time...but I am aware that at the 12 months mark...um...time will learn to fly...

this has me shaking in my boots.

Somedays I feel like I've accomplished nothing as most of the planning is just preparing for when we get closer to that big day. Like scouting out a dj (haven't done that yet...and I am very picky about my music and so is he...so we need someone that will blend us with our guest). For example I love R&B...a little bit of this & that but mostly R&B...babe is a fan of D&B (drum and bass) and we have family members who love hip hop (which is cool as we both can dig that as we both are hip hop fans)...his family some are really into persian music (I can get into persian music...he doesn't like to though)...and a lot of the younger family members have a thing for Pop (I don't care for songs by Lady Gaga but I do want guest to dance to songs they like and know the words to) ...so we need a dj who is experience in music all around, yes it will be an intense interview... it will start out with me scouting dj's in various club scenes and random parties ....taking suggesting from friends and then seeing them live in action...I will ask them random question about random artist...and do a ink blot test showing strong resemblences to different artist album covers and make them tell me what they are (I won't do the ink blot test but it would be cool if I did) ....Nonetheless I know in the end I am just gonna turn out like a good ol' traditional B.Z.illa and give him a playlist of songs that shall never be heard, songs that must be heard and songs that he should only play if someone request it but he shouldn't go out of his way to play it....and I will find the most vicious music lover of my friends to police the dj...I'll point to that person and say...

"you see her/him....don't accept any request unless approved by that person.... otherwise play from the list or I'll bite you!!!" and give him the evilest stare down...lol.... j/k...

I would love to in a perfect world, force for one night my music taste on the rest of my guest...but that is not nice ....as long as the dj doesn't break out with something like the Chicken Song (he should never play this...ever)....and no Cupid Shuffle unless someone request it (I better not have any of you request it...IJS)...and he/she must play the Mississippi Cha Cha Slide...matter of fact...he/she better know that song just to get the job....lol

(don't judge me...but something about right foot stomp, left foot stomp, cha cha with your right..... you know just makes me dance...especially when you get to back it up and jump...lol)

*actually I am not to stress on dj's they never do what you want them too*

Now somedays I feel like I am slowly making the greatest progress...like when I finally made a decision on what the color scheme would be or how I picture everything to look. I wanted it to actually have some type of feel....so deciding if it should be vintage style, modern, traditional, or even asian inspired was important (I know some girls don't care for that and picking a color is good enough...)

but I wanted more than a color...I wanted it to be about love and romance...so yes...we are working on making it the most romantic event....full of love. Plus I was so excited about having in my mind this solid picture of how I want things to look, to have a vision of what the mood and setting should be, I get excited...and every time I get a new thought that shapes it into more of actual complete process...I pull out my book of planning and I write it down...

Just this week we finally made a decision on a photographer...so I can't wait to take engagement pictures and of course they will be shared with all to view.

Another thing I've started to do is compose a list of all the guest...meaning I am getting together all addresses and what not....and I am going very slow at requesting address...I don't plan on sending out save the dates until 12 months to go...so that gives me a deadline of August and that means I have two months to slowly request addresses for everyone (actually less than two months to go...bites lips ...kind of scary hmmmm).... but yeah my guest are slowly receiving calls...emails, text requesting and verifying addresses....kind of like one of those cheesy love show on VH1 where the women get clocks or roses or condoms... something to let them know they get to stay in the house....(I know they've never handed out condoms but with the people on those shows like For the Love of Ray J....they probably should have gave them condoms to stay in the house or on whatever show they were on.)

anyhoo...

With all the planning I also have to make time for working on my Sofreh Aghd......

(This is not my sofreh aghd...but with the help of my future mother in law, my bridesmaid and the other lovely women in my babe's family *my soon to be family, truth be told I already call them family*...but with the help of awesome stylish ladies and those who are great with persian traditions I want to have one just as lovely or even prettier than this.)

Yes, we are mixing both cultures so I am excited to bring it all together and allow both sides to see something unique and beautiful. Other things I have to plan time for is working on my farsi...(yeah...I told myself I would love to be able to somewhat speak farsi on my lovely day) would love to speak it very well but I'll settle for saying the basics as for now...

Well darlings.... I could ramble on forever but it is getting late and I must go to bed soon...(yeah I am aware that I haven't even cover dressing the bridal party yet)...but I will...

until then.. .. Shab bekheyr va khab hay e khoob bebini azizha

ELC in search of a BBV.

2010-06-08T21:20:00.010-06:00

*Engaged Loving Couple in search of a Beautiful Big Venue*

Lately with venue searching I feel as if I should put out an ad like the romantic personal.

So it has come to my attention that there is a show for finding the perfect wedding dress.

There is a show for finding the perfect house...

So why isn't there a show for finding the perfect venue...I mean...this is what we are dealing with and I've seen other blogs involving rants about the right venue...

Serioulsy I wouldn't miss one episode of a show if it mixed "say yes to the dress" with "house hunters". It seems as if no place that has exactly what we need and want...and our ever growing list of demands...

I could see my lovely ad in the paper now...

I would like a venue that is free on weekend nights, is a one wedding party at a time venue...one that is big and beautiful and can party all night long until the sun comes up. A venue that won't be afraid to stuff my face with good food and doesn't mind my drinking habits. A venue who is cheap and easy and is happy to let me have my way with it.

Sadly venues don't read the want-ads and most are not... nor do they come "cheap and easy, and ready to please me"...and many turn into pumpkins at midnight.

This midnight shut down would be great for some weddings, but my fiance says he needs for it to be a 2am ending time...

Now I know some of yall are like "say what!!!" at least I was like that *I can't front*...I was thinking....how and why would we have a wedding until 2am...but my finace is very important part of this day as well as I.

So he get what he wants, as well as I get what I want....and the things we don't agree with...we learn to compromise...

but on this he wins the battle of a late night venue... as I have to and will be respectful of both families and cultures and I was told by my man ...that many persian weddings go on until forever ...sometimes all the way into the early morning.

so yes...our current venue defeats have been quite a few....we need a place that doesn't cost our first and second born...

and will be able to fit around 300 guest*....

and is close to hotels and location friendly for our out-of-town guest...(we have many and plenty we plan to invite...like about 50 percent of them)....

...and a place that will allow us to par-tay as late as 2am... (well a place that allows my guest to party until 2am)

...I might become a pumpkin at 12am...but we will see...

personally I will be happy when we can end our venue hunting and finally say yes to the wedding location.

So far we dealt with a casino...I thought a casino would be cool because it would keep our guest busy...but then I realize it probaly wouldn't be to happy for me as we have some serious gamblers

(like my fiance is one of them, my future brother in law, my brother, my brother in law who is married to my sister, a few aunties, some of my love's cousin, some of my cousin...and some of our friends...yeah...even I have a lottery ticket problem... and a stratch ticket problem... as it could get bad..I might not even show up... you might find me stuck in a corner surrounded by tiny square pieces of papers while constantly putting my quarters to work on trying to win a dollar or $25 dollars off of 7-11-21 .....*you only know what a 7-11-21 is if you have the same problem as me.)...

we might lose half of the wedding guest and party before the wedding starts (I will save myself the anger before it starts)...lol

...So casino resort goes at the bottom of my list, but everything has pros and cons....one thing I liked about the hotel resort casino was the fact that it was a resort and the hotel rooms were on the location for my guest...but it is like a scary road to get to the casino and nothing is around it so for those guest who get stuck out there that wouldn't be cool....so still it stays at the bottom of my list...lol

Second place... it is beautiful, it is a home location...so you save on venue rental fees...but not big enough to fit 300 people.... besides, we'd have to rent chairs and find a carter and I am too lazy for that...I'll leave the chairs and tables and food problem to the venue that I find to hold the function...Plus, if we have it there who would clean up afterwards... even though we would be able to party as late as we like, I worry about the out-of-town guest access to actually making it to the wedding.

Third place...nice...good price...but the police station was across the street...no thank you...(who thought of that crazy ideal)...we have many different races and cultures attending the wedding and we don't need them to go to jail on our wedding night due to profiling. Nor do we want the police to use our families as a training course called "harrassed the minorities of all colors"...and they only allowed partying until 12am...my babe isn't happy with that.

Fourth place - I loved it, the space and everything,.... the price, the location...the fact that there were no blackjack tables or penny-slot machines right outside the reception door...but G to the Z to the illa not so much...he didn't approve of the 12 am cut off time of partying once again...so it is on the list ...but for him none of these place are too high on his list...(I think he ranks the casino at #1 and this worries me...lol)

So back to the drawing board I begin to march in search for a venue that will make my G to the Z to the illa smile and make me happy just as well...some place that will show us and our love ones the finest time.

Meanwhile....in between the venue search I am photographer hunting and trying to
come up with ideals for save the dates, dressing the wedding party, blah blah balh...and start a wedding page...

My sister suggested I start one and I thought why not. I am hoping to have it completed by this Saturday so I can share the link with all.

Next up....

Dressing the wedding party....you won't be required to like the dresses you wear... but you will be required to wear dresses you love...

(I refuse to make my girls look like clones)

&

Silly grooms-men...you don't get to dress yourself...that is my job... (insert evil laugh here)

(I refuse to make have grooms-men look like clones)

peace & sainty.
J

*(yeah the list was originally at 275 but somewhere....Babe manage to secertly tack another 25 guest...I say whatever....what is the difference in 25 more people...I say whatever....by the time we do our actual list we probably will be at 275 more than 300 since I am the one who has done a psuedo list and I stop at 230 but gave him extra slots...but I digress...lol)

The Numbers Game/ah 'Budg Et'!....

2010-05-10T00:47:00.007-06:00

The Numbers Game - you want to invite who and why???

Hey Blog World.

Saturday me and my favorite man in the world decided to take our first wedding field trip…*WFT*

He seems to think it is early planning (which in a way, yes 15 months is very early if you are a millionaire and can afford a wedding in a day) we are not millionaires so we don't have money to wait until 2 months before the wedding and just pay for it easy with some wedding planner all model like named Felicia barking orders out and telling me my colors will clash so I should settled for a traditional black and red combo for a night wedding….

(well we are a tad bit blessed but still I want to plan my own party and I have to work daily at my 9 to 5... and planning a fine party like wine takes time to become perfect….therefore I plan my wedding in between the other things in life.)....therefore we (I) start the early planning...sounds smart and easy right?

As if...like any other wedding we have encounter two problems...

#1. The guest list
#2. The budget

These are the two ugliest parts of planning but the two that will dictate everything else.

Once you get these out of the way it becomes smooth sailing....

Some people are blessed come from small families...don't really make too many friends...so they already know who their close friends and family are and who gets an invite to the wedding.

They have those cool "less than 100 people" as guest therefore they can find a unique venue for their awesome weddings (so lucky).

We on the other hand have many proposed problems. These problems are a blessing just as much as the people with small families are blessed. Families big or small are always a blessing because having people love you is never a bad thing.

Still our families are not small. It can be wonderful to have so much family (sometimes not so wonderful but you know how that goes)..., still truth be told to become apart of another large family is awesome. Especially a family like the one I am becoming a part of.

I think if we add our two families together you get around 150 - 175 guest...guest who are required to automatically be invited. They are the family members, not by choice but by blood... they are in our lives daily so they deserve to be guest., even if some of those invites are out of courtesy alone.

Then there are friends...

Of course we want our friends at our wedding and since we have big families we can't use the rule of we only had a small intimate wedding among family because it won't be small with our families and some friends are more family than those who are blood…(those friends have gain the title of family)...

So we start with mutual friends (who are family to us) and then friends we both think should be there who are personal friends (still family to us)...and needless to say I stop at 275.

Some people argue that we don't know 275 people...I argued that with my man before writing the list of names that are mines and the 80 percent of his that I know who are his family and a part of his life and are automatically invited only to discover ...wait he was right we do know a lot of people...

A lot of people who mean a lot to us...

And out of these 275 I manage to carefully put on a list...they weren't my brother's friends (who by the way are like family) or his best friends brothers (who by the way have know him forever and would want to come) and even with excluding those type of people we still have a big list...so it is a big problem. As the list isn't made of co-workers and people who I stopped talking to in high school...these are people who are special, even the few past co-workers who will be invited along with a few people from high school and junior high.

Truth be told I stop at 275 when composing the list but I am aware that the parents (mines and his) will both have their own personal groups of people they believe should attend. Like my mother's friends who I consider second moms to me. (I am aware I will have to add them to the list). As we all know that the parents get to invite people they want, like their good friends. You can't tell them no.

Yeah 275 is crazy (but be aware that it will be a Persian and Black wedding so cut us some slack if you have ever been to a Persian event you know it is never a small one), so how do you cut the list?

Well one thing I proposed to my man was...I noticed a lot of friends he has that are nice and I've met... he never refers to them by real names...

So I gave him rules...

#1.anyone who wants to be invited, is required to tell me first and last name as I will not hand out invites to nicknames. Those who I can't introduce to my mothers (the one who birthed me or the one who gave birth to my favorite guy) without a proper name, then they should not come. (that was fine with him... he has been getting real names for me) :)

#2.me and him and his family will argue this...the whole nasty "plus one" debate...

see I believe we have many friends who know each other and many who are single and some who don't know each other yet but nonetheless are single and we also have single family members.

So between single family members and single friends, if we allowed them each to bring a date our list grows by another 50-75 people??? why should we do this when we can form love connections at our wedding? That is like bringing sand to the beach ...if you are single and not dating someone I don't want you digging up an ex-love just to fill a chair with some random person...mingle with someone else single...besides you already have something in common, it’s called you both know the bride and groom.

The only way I will allow a plus one is if you are shy and will not know anyone beside the bride or groom at the wedding...which is big laugh as I don't think we as a couple know of any shy people so that theory of shy is for the birds. We have a few quiet friends (I am a quiet person) but shy isn't the type of group we seem to attract (as I am not a shy person...quiet but not shy).

Children as invites to the wedding, I love the babies but I don't want to worry about them taking over my special day.

Now I know this is a big problem amongst many...but really...I've seen weddings with kids and it gets scary. They turn into daycares and junior high after school socials. I hope my guest are considerate enough to respect that request for no children and hire a babysitter...I mean personally I am aware that some people have young babies who they don't want to leave with just anyone but those who are able to leave their children in the hands of someone they trust I feel they should go ahead and get that babysitter to come and take care of them for a night and enjoy an adult evening. I understand for family, there are and will be family members like my sisters who are from out of state and are also a part of the wedding party, and must bring the babies as all trust worthy babysitters (aka other family members) are all at the wedding and the parents have no way nor would I recommend them leave my small precious nieces and nephews in other states without any family near by to attend to them if a situation arises.

So my rule is no babies...unless you are in the wedding party. Other than that your kids can't come unless your kids are over 21. If anyone wants to protest...I say talk to me about you wanting to pay for an onsite babysitter (key word is "you".... as I won't provide food or babysitters for your babies) and your babysitter can watch your kids and we can put them in a kids room with food that children love to eat like pizza and keep them busy as they will get bored.

So at the end of this...I mean you can try to change my mind if it bothers you but I am still in charge no matter what...tell me why having kids should be allowed... and why plus ones are great if you are feeling froggy and wanna jump.... I mean that is if you think you could change my thoughts.

One thing they say to keep in mind about the guest list is that they say 20% of the guest probably won't be able to attend and if your having a lot of out of state guest or a desination wedding than that amount goes up to 30% so we could be well under our expected count, since 50% of our invites will go to guest out of California.

*But just my luck everyone who I invite and send a "save the date" will probably find a way to come and will find a way to bring two extra people (so I have tended to ignore that said so called 20% to 30% rule that many wedding books and websites have magically pulled out the air"...but it is all love regardless. :)

****************************************

ah 'Budg Et'!....
It’s only consider cheap when you are not the one paying for it...gggrrrr

Unto the budget,

Any sane person knows that the guest list and budget run hand and hand (trust me there are some insane brides who don't know the concept and leave their daddies wallet full of grief)...so the budget can easily get big with more and more people as your "per person" count rises your cost rises. On the other hand, the guest list can easily shrink as you realize your budget big isn't strong or large enough to hold your “per person“ count. When you have your eyes set on a 30k budget but you "per person" is not fitting in a 30k budget...those rules for "plus one" and "no children" don't seem so silly.

Most weddings having the dreaded course of always going over the budget or skimping and settling for not having certain features in an attempt to stay under budget.

I refuse to be a victim of the rising budget line or the shrinking decorations and guest list to stay in my budget... But I have my budget where I want mines to be and that is where I expect mines to stop. :)

(I can just hear all of the current almost married brides and past brides reading this and probably laughing at me now and saying "when pigs fly" good luck with the budget plan)

Nonetheless I am out for breaking theories and being one of the few brides who can say she got what she wanted without skimping. Also I want to be able to say I got everything for under or at the stopping point of my budget.

Here is a tip for those planning. There is a book called Wedding for Dummies (I know I know....you are not a dummy...I am not one either) But I must admit that if you want to become budget savvy, you want this book. If you want ideals for wedding planning and for even simple things like the processional line and who stands where…you want this book. Unlike the plenty of websites and other books that tell you to allocate certain percentages to your wedding...like 5% on a dress, 40% on your venue (blah blah) ....Wedding for Dummies helps you to start a budget it won’t tell you exactly what you need to spend on in each part of your wedding in percentages as ..each bride is different and just because I want to spend 20% of my budget on my dress another bride might just want to spend 3% of her budget on a dress...and screw percentages anyways...Wedding for Dummies wants you to plan like a lady.

What does planning like a lady mean.... for example...women love to shoe shop...but not all women love to shoe shop for the same type of shoes and some women don't care for shoes at all...(but most love shoes). Out of all the women who like to shoe shop each has a different amount she is willing to spend on certain shoes...

a lover of sneakers will not pay $200 for a pair of heels. Also you can't tell her why she should if she doesn't care for heels and only plans to wear them to the occasional special event where her mom begs her to show up in something other than her Nikes...but for a great sneaker she might easily want to spend $120 on a new pair of Jordans.

There are women who love heels and will easily spend $150 and only use sneakers for workout and feel that a sweet pair of $40 New Balances does great when it comes to getting the job done for her morning jog.

So if you gave both women $250 dollars and told them both to spend 50% percent of that on a fierce pump and the other half of that on a great sneaker...one girl is bound to go over her sneaker budget and the other is bound to go over her budget on what she will spend for a heel and they both will more than likely short change the other they care less about...so why tell them both to use the same percentage for what they should spend on their shoe rather than what they really want to spend it on?

Instead give each woman the option of deciding on what she is willing to spend on each thing and in the end she should have a estimate budget on how much her wedding will cost. She should have a low amount and a high amount and it will give her a chance to decide if she should raise or lower some amounts to achieve the budget she desires. It also gives her a chance to gauge if she needs to redo her price on what she might have thought a wedding would cost

For example....

say I want flowers but I am only willing to spend between $500 and $1000 for them and these flowers are to be for my bouquets, centerpieces and any other additional decorations in the wedding. Now I am under the impression that flowers should cost me $700 so I made my high bid at $1000 on the safe side. What if it turn out that the lowest I can find flowers are at $1000 and I don't get that many... I can get creative and use the ceremony flowers as centerpieces after the ceremony ...but at least now that I have an ideal of how much they will cost I can plan ahead for that option, so now I can see if maybe something else in my budget I can lower to raise my flower budget and keep my wedding total the same. So I can now review something else on my budget that might be around my low bid...like if I thought cupcakes for the reception would be great in place of a cake. So I thought that my cupcakes would cost me between $400 and $800...and I was under the impression that they usually cost $600 but turns out I found a great new up and coming bakery that wants to give me a deal on cupcakes for being their first bride for the amount of $200...I am well under my budget on cupcakes allowing me to use that amount on flowers but still keeping me in my overall amount.

So I am blessed to say that Wedding for Dummies has saved me a lot of my stress of looking at money and budgets in the way that is wasn't going to fit for me or any savvy bride. Before when I would type in my budget and guest list amount on sites like The Knot...they would compute percentages leaving me to think if my wedding is 100k, then I need 10k on flowers when I might just need 1k or 2k and I can spend that other 8k from the ten somewhere else.......

it wasn't until I made my own list minus the percentage craziness that wedding planning sites seem think is a budget bible…..then it made sense in what I was willing to pay at the most (my high bid) for something and what I was hoping to pay (my low bid) if I could get a deal and what I felt most amounts would cost (estimated amount)...

Once I got that solved…..I begin to feel at ease...because honestly every wedding and every location doesn't cost the same. Nor does every wedding look the same or cost the same as every bride, groom and what they want out of the experience isn't going to be like another bride and groom's plan.

I am happy to say...I made my budget and my list and they are both together and well so now I have officially started to enjoy my planning...

up next...

("Venue searching - Do you really think Me and my dress will make it in a portable toilet, not today and I refuse that fate on my guest...your location has not advance to the final round"
and
"Bridesmaids - you can't live with them...you can't live without them")

I gotta win the Lottery or find some Sponsors quick

2010-05-07T20:15:00.003-06:00

Hey Blog World...

I know you all missed me as I kept making promises to return while life kept evolving and the world kept revolving ...I know you probably gave up on me and felt I just drop off the face of the Blog World.

I did disappear into thin air....

Well since than many things have changed...

#1.I moved from Colorado to California after finding love spending a year apart from each other (me and my favorite man in the whole world) we spent the year dating long distance counting down the days when I would move close to him *that traveling every two – three months gets tough and costly...

(Actually that is where we left off on...me in love and writing poems)

#2.So our love grew and kept growing and we decided to take it further, I mean since we made the plunge to move and moving in with each other is a plunge...it only makes sense for the next step...

So we decided to get married

As of right now we are engaged, a date has been set for the wedding *August 13th if money-wise situations and everything goes as planned and it is God willing* …as of now the planning has begun...

So therefore the blog has been resurrected to help me keep sanity in such expensive times...

(weddings cost a lot...even for the budget thrifty type like me, see I am fashion savvy so this proposes to be a big problem… as I want a beautiful day but at a good price….some women pay whatever for a beautiful day and don't mind dishing out big bucks to have someone make it pretty for them…I call them rich and lucky and even if I was rich and lucky I am still too cheap to dish out my dollars on a 8 hour event…some women can’t afford the beautiful day so they miss out on the beauty and settle for some cheap and cheesy looking day as they don’t lack the patience to tackle research and love and creativity for DIY projects...

These two type of brides are left at the mercy of overpriced wedding vendors….

Weddings vendor and venues use weddings as a time to squeeze happiness out of your day and make you end up drained as you plan to begin you life together, in the end you are left thinking why did it cost so much? I mean it is suppose to be a special day but vendors take the special out of it with outrageous prices for simple things like half-assed center pieces where they take a bunch of flower and plop them in a vase in the middle of the table and put stupid candles around them… (I have nothing against that but I am ugh ..partial..most people don't make it as pretty as it can be and they spend a lot to get medicore)

I seen a lot in my research of planning so far that is disappointng...like they shouldn’t be charging as much as they do for what they are offering…but I am not here to ruffle anybody’s business or called them out...truth be told sadly, I think these high demanding vendors are the reason why many divorces happen afterwards…that in the fact that some people just don’t belong together and spend way to much time planning the party and not the future)

But if you are a cheap broke bride like me....you work hard to make sure every penny counts for something... so I am also writing this to help other brides who might be lost at how to not go for broke or at least pretend like you made a effort, I am here to give hope to the thrifty bride who wants a pretty wedding but says “I can’t afford one” (as I say that a lot)… but I then take a breath become okay as I pull it together and then I go pull out some hair and keep on truckin to the next scary task I must conquer...

One thing I’ve learned so far which is ironic and quiet funny to me happen to be the fact that during weddings no one cares what the bride wants, they say they do but it is a lie… but when she pouts she is a bridezilla, they say it is your day but really most people are complaining about what you want for your day *sigh*.... your guest count, where it should be, what music, how it should look, what day it is on at what time.... and who should and shouldn’t be invited… according to their list of who is important in their life, not yours....(we will discuss these of course as we progress through planning)

I have a feeling that even though I don't want to be one...I will become the dreaded title of B to the Z to the Illa. *sigh*

Not by choice but see everyone has some little petty fault about them....mines is frugality...not to say I am a cheapo (wait I am a cheapo and I am proud to be one!!!)...

But still truth be told...I spend when it is worth it,...

Oh trust me...I know how to spend money...don't give me your wallet and give me the challenge to empty it as you will lose and end up broke in the end....only difference between me and "RS" type "reckless shop-a-holics", is the fact that I want to get as much bang for my buck as I can...especially in a recession...so me wanting a beautiful wedding worth every penny to some might seem silly or a waste of time and quite goofy and “poor-ish” acting, and me doing extra planning and research might seem ridiculous, but those who will be invited to attend and actually show up...I promise you will love every moment of it....beside…I have a vision of pretty perfection and any lover of Fancy things will agree…if you want Fancy you have to DIY as your vision isn’t others vision and they will always not make it as great as you know it can be.

I have a feeling I will spend blogs ranting about the cost of many outrageous things that I think are overrated but others might think are not, and there are other things and perks for a wedding that I might want to throw dollars at like I am at a strip club, while other people might label me silly for doing so...

I know the standard arguments in wedding planning will arise...like the "plus one" debate for single guest (not gonna tell you how I feel about that now but you might have some thought on where I stand if you know me well and in the future the blog about it will happen) ...the whole "children at the reception debate" (once again it will come up in a blog)... and many more will get me sharing lots of rants that involve sweet tantrums seduce with kicking and screaming on here as I bring out the true spirit of B to the Z to the Illa...(but not the kind you see on WE....those heifas are just crazy...mines will be valid rants of poutiness)...

But the good news is....me pouting on a blog gives others the chance to hear my cries and either agree or disagree in my comments and hey who knows...they might even get me to change my mind or see a problem from the other view...

It will also give those guest who are invited and choose to read a chance to bond even more with me…and it will give those people who are not invited but think they are guest a chance to understand why they were not if they choose to read and bond they will understand that those who were invited couldn't be because of issues other than we not liking them...as we love you all dearly who are our friends….as sometimes people take it personal when they can’t come to a wedding but not understanding that we would love to invite the world… but we haven’t won the lottery yet…so until further notice on the situation of if we do win the lottery changes…we have to pick and choose wisely our guest list…

So here we are 15 months to go before the big day and I am already in a panic attack mode...

Therefore I will keep progress of what I do in hopes of that whenever I freak out...I can come back to reading about my progress and realize...it ain't so bad... or I can come back to read about my progress and realize that it is bad and probably freak out even more...Yikes!!!

Let's hope we get the first of the two choices out of this experience.

One thing I must admit is...I've taken up playing the lottery often and I am looking for sponsors (one or many…either will do) for wedding cost...so if any of you sweet people feel like Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags and get into the spirit of being a super baller....don't forget about our special day as you toss "Munnies" out to "Hunnies" just because you can and got enough to "Make it Rain" on us "punk b!$#%es"

Peace and Love and thanks for joining me on this ride...lol

.....up next....

(The Numbers Game - you want to invite who and why???

and...

"ah 'Budg Et'!....
It’s only consider cheap when you are not the one paying for it...gggrrrr")

My own 6 degrees of seperation..

2009-08-14T00:14:00.001-06:00

So I found this picture today on the bus.... *I plan on scanning it in a little later...* but I remember when I lost my digi in DC...I was heart broken....I found a cell phone on the bus once...and easily called a few number and return the phone and the picture of his wifes boobs to him safely (she had nice breast too...) but anyways...I hate losing things myself... so I decided on an experiment of my own...

http://denver.craigslist.org/laf/1322416305.html

does 6 degrees of seperation really work...will I ever find the owner...will they lose at roshambo?? who is uncle bruce???... (these question to be answer next week)...lmao

good luck in helping me...I know you want too...

Catch a VCD not a STD!!!

2009-08-13T01:31:00.001-06:00

So if you haven't heard the news...Vintage Clutch Divas is partaking in the AIDs Walk Colorado this Saturday.

Vintage Clutch Diva AIDs Walk Donor page

if you would love to join our team it isn't too late...or if you would love to donate money and sponsor us on the journey...it isn't too late for that either..

check us out.

we will post pictures of the walk and everyone walking with our team will recieve a special made VCD little tote (perfect for carrying lunches and letting people know you care.)

stay fly and aware.

Peace, Love, and VCDing!!!

Shirts and clutches

2009-07-12T15:02:00.003-06:00

now availiable...

Recycle Beats & Blood Money (che guevara) ...more shirts coming soon...
to inquire about them email me...januari@vintageclutchdivas.com

*the shirts are men sizes but as you see look just as good on women. :)*

&

The purses ..one of a kind...each purse has it's own personality

For my Azizam in honour of his new year.

2009-06-13T14:12:00.001-06:00

So yesterday was my Love's birthday, and even though I couldn't be in the same state to help him celebrate (we will in 3 weeks ) I wrote him this poem... I didn't title it...what do you guys think the title should be??

In my heart you live inside...
equivalent to
old fashion love letters,
tucked away and cherished under beds
protected by ribbons wrapped up
and place carefully inside shoe boxes...
my love for you is just as important
and just as delicate,
while the ink insides those love notes,
sometimes becomes temporary
begins to fade, permanent in ones mind
each word tends to become memorized
from being read over and over
from time to time.
with you, I've done just the same,
imprinted you in my soul,
memorized your touch
for the moments when we've
been apart for way too long.
so dreams become contrary to popular songs,
as I dabble in the ideals of the opposite
damn the left, I want to make you irreplaceable.
better yet, you've become
the non-negotiable factor...
as I can change hair
without a care, even moods...
for you the verdict remains the same
always...
that mere words can not express
and what I could write between the
lines of many poems
is just a tiny speck
inside of the truth,
as I try to express my feelings for you,
the glow of my heart, is a tell tale sign
of how I wanna get lost in this lifetime
shared between us,
wake up wondering when time learned to fly,…
and on those days when time goes slow,
I'll appreciate and admire
the course we've traveled together...
amazed at how it creeps
like a old school slow jam
and with you....
I want for the “we” to become like those
love songs that people consider the “classic”
as we merge into each other souls,
belonging to each other
forever,
and always....

06/12/09 - jfh

Love made out of paper

2009-04-09T21:33:00.000-06:00

A love made out of paper

I'd give you anything that your heart desires,
and I'd treat each moment with you like antiques.

and never will my gray hair
make me feel embarrassed
as silver begins to become sneaky
and peek through the black.

while you'll never have to
worry or wonder about my wrinkles
and if I am ever ashamed of them
the newly defined lines upon my skin
un-hidden they are evidence of your movements
living deep inside my smile;
like the reason for my possessions of crows feet.

and you don't have to confirm to me my youth
as if fresh age hasn't quite started to fade yet
with you I forget years of creaky bones
as daily laughter erupts from deep in the soul

and with I won't be afraid of love...

or papers

jfh.0409

Haiku's

2009-02-05T18:53:00.002-07:00

Love Sacrifice (written by me)

For you I'd hide my
hair; always wear long pants; not
hold hands in public

*************************************

Love Delight (written for me)

Her taste is so good,
that I gave up carbs. Now I
live longer with her.

*******************************

True love is in the sole (written by me for me)

I like my men to
be like my money. Can buy
me many cute shoes.

Love like Foreign Lands VII (for Babak)

2009-02-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

Love Like Foreign Lands –VII

I plan to write the atlas to your soul,
become so scientific with the method of discovery,
I want to dwell deep within and learn every inch....
bone,
curve,
scrape,
bump,
scratch,
bruise,
and
mole,
the birthmarks,
that maps your body,
I'll study your lips, kiss them to measure the softness,
bite them slightly to see how full and thick they are,
run my tongue around the outline to take note of the borders,
suck them to get their natural flavor,

hmmmm...

and in my memory, I'll write that each touch of them
each brush and press of them against my lips,
taste like the air on a warm spring day.
and in your eyes, I see the sun,
infinite possibilities of happiness
some secrets of what we plan to build, hopes of future will.
while in your eyes, I'll see the son,
roots embedded deep in fertile soil
encourage the build of a stable family tree,
and seeds that live inside our lap,
the evidence of a evolution, the evidence of a simple caress.
so I'll study your touch, as you imprint yourself into me,
your body temperature perfect, brings warmth to my cold flesh,
the pressure of a hug, anxiously closer to you I pull,
wanting each cell of my skin
to find a perfect mate to kiss
among each cell of your skin.
close my eyes and breathe slightly,
I want you to sink and rise inside me.
as the urge to have us infused and bind,
we conquer the ability to share space and time,
and I will chart and graph each event,
all the kisses, touches, whispers,
precise and accurate, treat each year's new resolution
as the reason to devote every day
into re-surveying the area of your body,
learning of your aura, as if it was the first time again

It isn't overrated

2008-12-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

It isn't overrated

Sometimes we are just
not doing it yet.
Confused, begin to call an
anthill a mountain.
no one is ever impressed with
conquering mountains
the size of anthills?
just as well as excitement dies
in cases of mistaken identity,
a common wrong made
popular by many.
While to those who have
reach the top and seen the view
it isn't overrated
You'll show with actions
and I'll use my words
while every now and then
just for the thrill to be able to
shake things up quite a bit
we'll trade spaces through
place and time.
and we both can agree
it isn't overrated.
my baby,
{joonam},
my heart,
{azizam},
my sweetie,
{kuchuluam},
my darling....
I want to call you...
I want to call you every name under the moon
just because...
I like to hear the way they roll off my tongue
and sing to you, therefore ....
it isn't overrated
I want to desire, to beg for a kiss
just one more upon my lips please...
{meboosamet}
just for the thrill of it, not
because I've been deprived by you
but I want to bring that rise in you.
it isn't overrated
I want to desire, to beg to sit on your lap
just so I can talk dirty in your ear....
{meekonamet}
just for the thrill of it, not
because I've been deprived by you
but I want to bring that rise in you.
it isn't overrated
I want to desire, to beg
just for the sake of begging....
{mikhamet}
just for the thrill of it, not
because I've been deprived by you
but I want to bring that rise in you.
it isn't overrated
we can buy tickets for two
and share a seat as we journey
on a ride to fill a lifetime
enjoying every
twist, curve, surprise,
just to confirm the truth of the wise....
hoping to do it right
for the good of it
for the bad of it
it isn't overrated

jfh-12.10.08 (4 my favorite...)

selfish

2008-12-04T19:51:00.001-07:00

let me hold the monopoly on your memories
because I'm selfish like that
give me
the good times
the bad times
the ones filled with laughter
those sentiments you captured
in pictures to be kept long after
the events have come to past
and when it gets tough
I want you to remember
how looking into my eyes
made you realize things would be alright
no matter what it seemed like, on the outside,
I want to be submerged and smuggled,
hidden in photos and dreams
and sections in between,
scents that linger
and song that trigger
memories .....because I'm selfish like that

let me hold the monopoly on your fantasies
because I'm selfish like that
I want
the kinky times
the freaky times
the ones with all things mushy
and romantically incline
that could make even the toughest
woman made out of hot molten rock erupt
and melt into warm lava
while she slips away inside your arms
until the morning sunlight comes.
give me those afternoon thoughts when
we've been apart for way too long,
and those pre-planned four play plots
from nights as you drive,
impatient and excited for the arrival home
just to act out everything
you mapped out
that you would do
to get me to that level of love supreme
just as you pictured
would happen inside your
fantasies ....because I'm selfish like that.

and in return I'd give you
the key to my soul
the book to my laughter
the movie about my heart
and the map
to show you the way back
to my eyes
just in case you forget the way
sometimes...
I've saved my touch
for you to come and stake and claim
selfishly keeping just so you can
treat my body, mind and soul as
your very own monopoly
as I sometimes tend to become
slightly selfish when making major decision
that happen to be just so important like that.

jfh-12/2008

it keeps calling me

2008-12-03T19:21:00.001-07:00

So it hasn't even been a week....I feel like I know what crack heads go through...

I mean 6 days and I was jonesin for a blog...I was itching for a way to voice my opinion..and I realize I blog because if I didn't, no one...I mean NOT one Single soul would know things like this happen in the world...but they do...

so after this I will try to really disappear (I can't make it a promise...it gets hard for me...) .. but at least until the new year comes I want to hide and lurk and then I will re-open the blog on Jan 7th....like Diddy does the studio...(now I know why Jay Z and Too Short and other artist say they retire but never really do....if it is your life line it is hard to just stop)

Blog #1

you dishonored my precious nose....

so have you ever had a co-worker...that smell not quite right (I know you have...who hasn't ...whatever..) but this one is different you guys don't understand... have you ever had a co-worker who smells like he just took a shit in his pants...I mean think about hot garbage on a sunny day sitting in the sun baking...but not just any hot garbage, think of dead rats that have been dead for 2 weeks baking in the sun...

he smells like that...usually I am able to avoid going into the room he sits in or anywhere near his desk so I'm air free....until today, he walks into my nice "clean air" room where the door was closed to keep outside smells like onion and garlic lunches out in the hallway, and he closes the door behind him ...now that smell is following him...that 'something just crawled in my ass and died' smelled, so of course it follows him into the room I sit in and with him closing the door it didn't help...so he was in the room probably about 30 seconds and walks back out and closes the door again...WTF!!! ...I was pissed because I can't believe his stanking ass just polluted the air and closed the door to keep it trapped in there with the resident of our office...so I open the door, my other co-worker turned on the air even though we were already cold we figured we rather be cold and pushing the funk out rather than die from smelling it...... I mean it was horrible....I haven't had to encounter his smell for about a year and a half now...I'm usually great at avoiding his odor but damn...now the score is:

Nasty co-workers death smell -3 vs. Januari's nose -10,0000000 (even though it looks like I'm winning, those 3 points are way more powerful so I'm getting my ass kicked),,,

it was like so bad that I feel like a kid who just went to the doctor and got a shot....I cry then I forget about it until I see the band aid and then I'm reminded of the pain so I cry again.

I started to worry that my co-worker has unintentionally murder someone...I mean that is the only excuse for that smell...

I think he must have been on his way to work one day and sat on the bus next to this little scrawny kid -120 poundd -5'3 - 8th string running back on the freshmen football squad and he might have moved a little too close to the boy and sucked the boy into the cracks of his flesh...and that poor little boy was suffocated and died...but since my co-worker doesn't shower too often he isn't aware he has a missing child lodge between the roll that hides his ribs and kisses his belly.....that poor freshman with a life ahead of him now dead and wrapped up like a pig in a blanket, his smell of death helping to pollute the air I breath, not because it was his fault but because he sat to close to a man who look like the Colonel Sanders from KFC....that little boy was fooled into thinking that man had chicken when he didn't have chicken, must have snuggled up against him trying to breath the smell of chicken and started to sink into the flesh never to be seen again and died immediately from the horrible smell, only to add to the smell with the stench of death from his missing corpse.....such a tragic chain of events...

they should have laws against things like that from happening.....

I'm just saying...

peace loves...miss yall

well....

2008-11-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

It's been fun, but I think this is the last blog I will do on here....I am not planning on blogging any more on my myspace blog. (I don't plan on reading or commeting on any more either) ....I have no vaild reason for stopping, just think this is a good stopping point.

peace

Top Ten Reason A Woman Needs A Gun

2008-11-23T21:21:00.004-07:00

So lately if you haven't noticed...I've been on this list making kick...no clue why but it is still rolling hard...therefore, I've moved on to bigger better things...lol...(not really but you know)

I'm in the mood for random top ten list. I'm willing to get help on these list so if you have a reason you feel belongs on the list ...let me know and I might just include it....

this weeks list is

Top Ten Reason A Woman Needs A Gun

#10. Because "Baby I'm sorry I cheated on you with the baby sitter" is easier to say with a Desert Eagle pointed at your dome. (submitted by Sticky)
#9. Because how else are you going to get a peep hole in the front door so you can tell who is knocking?
#8. They had a promo at the club for ladies night: first 50 ladies in free before 10:30 get a pistol, every lady after the pistols run out gets a free shot of patron.
#7. because she got those sexy cowboy boots on sale at Steve Madden and what are boots without a gun?
#6. She happen to walk into the store to buy a pack of gum, but realize that the store didn't sell gum but found out that they only sold guns, no reason in wasting a good shopping trip and not picking anything up.
#5. so she can use the extra jewels and fancy decals she brought from the cell phone accesory's store at the mall, that way her gun and cell phone can match.
#4. Because there was a take an additional 30% off sale, who in their right mind passes up a sale, especially one with additional savings?
#3. Plans on taking a pistol whipping self-defense course, require material is a pistol to pratice the "whipping" with.
#2. just in case she moves into the same neighborhood with OJ, and as a good neighbor welcoming her to the area, he shows up with an fresh baked apple pie and is wearing leather gloves because he doesn't want to "burn" his hands from holding apple pie fresh out the oven, and he is asking to borrow a knife.

************************************************************

#1. Because sometimes as the bride you have to be your own wedding planner at the shot-gun wedding.

*Well that is all for now...next upcoming list...Top Ten Ways to make yourself a little more hood*

Oh...I also did a different blog on myspace if you'd like to check it out...

Street names..how hardcore can I really be or not?

math, music, love & u

2008-11-19T20:59:00.001-07:00

math, music, love & u

you plus I
equals....
we

can be like the Eddie Kendricks song
before sampling was done
pure raw classic in original form...

or better yet...

me and you
equals...
we

can become like the
Sweet Sable
or perhaps the
Alicia Keys
melody

derived into a sample

simplified as a loop

but still suspended inside
the meaning of

us as...

the possibilities infinite.

copywrite 11/2008 - Januari (ezili-oshun)

Temper Tantrum Tuesday - always showing up late like a much anticipated period

2008-11-13T20:56:00.001-07:00

Temper Tantrum Tues (on a thurs? wtf)

So TTT is on cp time this week...cp time stands for *co-worker play sick time* - my co-workers stay coming in late and calling in sick...so TTT play fake sick and called in from being posted tuesday. Well I had to hunt it down and drag it out to be posted today, told him all this slacking ain't cool.

"rants and raves, outrageous S#!% that is all the craze" - Chicken freenzy 99 cents Tuesday at Popeyes... I don't eat chicken but last week during election night because we had a election party, my brother in law suggested to my sister to go up to CF (chicken freenzy) and get 10 orders of the 99 cent tuesday...now I'm laughing and thinking do they have a limit on this deal...apperently not? The line was out the door and everybody who order place at least 5 dollars worth of the 99 cent tuesday meals...okay...so 10 pieces of chicken for 5 dollars...lmao... sounds like somebody is trying to give churches a run for the money and while in the line some of the people made it known that they are there every tuesday...I mean they probably don't miss a chicken tuesday but be quick to sleep in on church sunday. I wonder when is KFC gonna step up to the plate and get in the CF game?... I mean, someone order $20 worth of chicken that night, so 40 pieces of chicken...wow...there were people outside playing their music loud...a liquor store right next door was crowded...and I felt out of place ordering shrimp, fries and biscuits while everyone else did it Super Big on 99 cents for 2 pieces.... loud music, lots of black people and liquor,...it was like the club.

"things that are consider uncouth" - they say you shouldn't dicuss politics and religion ...I must agree, it usually gets heated when convos arise out of these two topics becuase every one has their own passion and views that are very touchy... but with this past election a lot of people unknown to the rules broke them quite often...to this day I hear at least one drunk end a sentence with Obama...I've become aware that now drunks don't say peace or good bye when leaving ...they shout Obama, regardless of if it has anything to do with him....the convos usually go like this... " mmm..look at that young girl ova thur...she sho is pretty as all day and if I was 20 years younger ....ooh wee.... OBAMA"...or something like this... "I brought these shoes for 30 dollars, they some good shoes, can you spare me a dollar, since I spent my money on shoes I don't have none to eat with,.... OBAMA".... or ..."all that bickering, black on black crime.... OBAMA" , or " you have a nice day, see you later, OBAMA".... (they always yell Obama at the end as if they are saying goodbye or see you later...wtf????)... But another thing I don't think you should dicussed in public is music... I'm touchy with my music taste and when people say things like Mariah Carey is the best female artist ever or that Usher composes the deepest song out of today's artist, or Lil Wayne is the best rapper and he is keeping hip hop alive?...

I just want to jump up and down, turn around, shout like Pinky off of next friday and double devil dog dare them to SAY ANOTHA MUTHAF#$& WORD....

so why this tuesday did I not get spammed with bad music opinions... not once but twice from two different guys trying to flirt with me and impressed me with their un-classy crap-offical music taste...just thinking about it today makes my blood pressure rise. One kept talking so much that if I had my heels from work in my purse tuesday night, one would be stuck in his small intestines as of right now becuase that is how far I would have shoved it up his a$$...

"old school flavor, new school rules" - is it just me or when watching kids dance today does anyone else think...'wait, I've seen that dance before'... for example...
"the stanky leg" (yeah there is a dance named this if you don't know...) any ways...it looks like the butterfly...you know when you do that one leg to the left or to the right...yeah no one can't convience me that the stanky leg isn't one half of the butterfly...smch to the children on the new school who are too lazy to come up with their own dance but steal ours and change the name a little...

like the durty booty(what!!! do I really want to do a dance called this...well kids do...so sad...I mean who is naming this crap...) ....anyways...I believe the "durty booty" is da butt on speed...

those kids are doing da butt but just a little faster than usual, don't believe me...just go on youtube a watch of few of them do it....(I have to stop watching youtube, since I know way too much about these dances and the kids of today)...

So watching kids dance on youtube got me to thinking...we need to get in on this folks...I mean we all grown and shit but who says we can't youtube ourselves dancing...so I'm now starting the first old school dance contest...

every week I want people to do a dance I name, put it on youtube and who ever has the most hits... gets a prize...(I'm willing to give away a prize for my entertainment happiness...lol.. prize will be revealed next week...I gotta think of something to movitate people to really do it...lol) I hope a lot of people do it...because I mean really ...(you don't have to show your face ...I mean you can get your running man on without showing your face...so don't be afraid just do it)

the rules are....you must be over 25.... that's the only rule...because this is going to be a dance contest for the old school...

first dance, show me your best butterfly -

and make sure you go to the left and to the right...and don't forget the dip (but no reversing, that is the toostie roll for another day)...I mean seriously...if y'all show me yours I'll show you mine.... (who am I kidding I'm more than likely gonna show you mines regardless....)...get creatative...study some of the kids videos where they have the routines or where one walks in after the other.. or make sure you are butterflying at the job, in the chipotle line, in your car while driving...make me laugh ....I know some of yall got kids old enough to help ya'll set up a group dance...do it for my sanity ...Please baby baby please...

Once you have uploaded your video on youtube if you are shy about it you can send me a message just for me and the judges to view privately ...or you can post a link to your video in the blog for all to view if you are proud of your pimping...

the contest will end in three weeks on dec 3 (wed.) and will be displayed on the new Work it out Wed blog post....where every week a new dance will be revealed and the old dance will be judge and the best ones will be scored by a panel of judges... *I will be contacting my judges soon ...and I want my judges to encourage people to apply.*...lmao...

are y'all up for it....past the word along..tell your friends...the more people I can get to dance the more I will laugh and the happier I will be, therefore saving lives of the people I work with and ride the bus with as for each day they get closer and closer to death by one of my heels being pushed so far in them through their ass that their bladder can be seen every time they say cheese during a picture taking moment.

don't you want to save a life?

peace sweeties.

Oh please tell your friends about the this post so that they may know....spread the word...lets do this, yo!!

Vintage Clutch Updates

2008-11-09T15:47:00.002-07:00

A new blog has been posted about Vintage Clutch Divas...plus we have added pictures to the myspace page with prices...

Vintage Clutch Blog

Vintage Clutch Myspace

check them out..and enjoy.

The Perils of.....Babydoll??? (where's Penelope?)

2008-10-25T17:00:00.002-06:00

Well....I love to watch the Perils of Penelope...her clueless attitude on how she would be so trusting....but she was always saved in the end regardless...her 'lil ol voice', which was so southern. Anyways I like to think of my alter like that....

This week I left her in charge and told myself to relax and start to enjoy being single and boy free for a while...or a lifetime. I mean yeah it would be nice to have conversations with people over the age of 6 but so far my niece and nephews will have to do. At least I can get them to laugh and I do impress them with my vast knowledge of knowing every line when watching the Lion King or Lil Mermaid (that makes me cool in the eyes of the little ones)

None the less I went back to the Januari aka Babydoll that throws her head back and smiles with her eyes...and boys like that...which pisses me off since I'm carefree, they feel like they want to get some of my happiness and bask into it...but it doesn't work that way...BPH works it alone...she always has...still doesn't mean she can't date...

Just this week she was offer free lunch (which she didn't accept- she is a Go Girl...Miss Independent...therefore she is happy tending to herself)...but she did get the cute bus driver who drives her home everyday after work, his number and gave him mines.....

He is cute and I like him..he likes me...but one thing just a date would be nice and nothing more... *we are suppose to have a date tonight when he gets off work*

He is looking for a girlfriend sadly, I don't want to take on that role, and he knows this...but I'll love the dates and I do feel special not having to flash the school ID to get on the bus (well I was doing it anyways since him and the driver after him both tend to flirt with me)...

Let see... so far with BPH in charge I have met a bus driver and a cab driver who are happy to give me free rides...hmmm...now if only I can find a pilot...lol

but don't worry...I'll behave...just enjoying this one woman solo flight --- sight seeing durning the ride, but not picking up any hitchikers...

peace..

She lives in my lap...

2008-10-23T19:36:00.002-06:00

She lives in my lap.

Well you might have noticed the name on myspace is now Babydoll.....

that is right..well see Beyonce is coming out with a double disc, one revealing her alter ego Sasha Fierce... and you know every Diva needs an alter ego...it is a must...if you are a Diva without one...you better find her...you probably just never realize she was there. Mariah Carey has Mimi, you've seen her do her stupid alter ego videos...lol

so yeah...Divas need an alter ego....

therefore I would like to introduce everyone to mines...

first name: Babydoll,

last name: Pump it Hottie....

yeah...so you are wondering how did she get such a cool name...well...see Januari (me)...I'm pretty ice cold....I can come off as sometimes "mean, vicious"..I'm all about business...not a morning person, don't talk to too many people because I don't want to waste my breath on convos, that involve idiots.....

but that Babydoll Pump it Hottie.....she is a ball of spicy fire..a cold piece of work...she is the one who is the serial dater...she is the bubbly and talkative one that makes appearances during liquor, good music and good food....

sadly...I've decided that she should be in charge...I might regret it later.....

Oh in other news...with me working and being to cheap to pay 5 dollars extra to the cable company for a dvr box....I miss out on Judge Mathis...so I'm now requesting that somebody call me everyday with a play by play detail during the show of what is happening on Mathis.....*who is up for the job*

*random thought of the week - I was so excited to hear Maxwell was going to be touring....*

Then I saw the price of the tickets.....from 85 - 206 dollar tickets.... really.... I mean ....I had to write a letter.....

Dear Maxwell,

I've been in love with you since probably 6th grade...*whenever Ascension came out* and I've purchased all 3 albums and loved all three (plus maxwell unplugged)....now I've assumed that since the beginning me and you have been boyfriend and girlfriend and just don't know it yet.... and when I seen you cut off the hair and was looking all fly recently....I thought boo, you were missing me and was aware that I had started to date "other" people...like Eric Roberson, Raheem (I only use his first name because we are that close, because I say we are), ....I mean you come back around like you just put out a new cd, Maxwell.... but for 85 dollars ..probably 100 after ticketmaster taxes them....I want to leave the concert with a picture of you standing next to me with your shirt off and it looks like we both had a couple of drinks, as we give each other mammograms....

now for 206....um....I expect to leave the concert pregnant....I wanna tell my friends ..."I just went to see Maxwell and they were giving out free Maxwell sperm...yeah I'm expecting little Jax *januari and maxwell names combined as Jan and Max = Jax* ....I would be waiting for my beautiful singing baby to pop out in 9 months...I'll be in the delivery room while you sing on the phone (because you'll be too busy to come to the hospital from being in the studio working)....but you'll sing "A woman's work" .....while I push out our seed....that is all I'm saying 206 ...(230 after ticketmaster’s taxes it) is worth being pregnant after the show especially when you haven't put out an new album lately...you're fine ...but I think we are going to have to break up for your outrageous demands...

I'll stick to pretending to be dating Raheem, Erros, D-Brock, Van Hunt and Martin Luther....I mean I hugged 3 out of the 5 and if Raheem ever makes his way to Denver ...or me seeing him in DC ...whatever happens first....then I'll be able to say I've touch 4 physically *now Raheem...I might just end up with baby Jaheem=Januari & Raheem*....but I will try to behave in a pg rated way of course, just might not be set in stone......as I do know how to contain myself at times, meeting Raheem might not be one of those times...as for Van Hunt...I know I would end up pregnant...I won't even lie about that one, so I guess we'll never meet in person.

Riding on the bus gives me the most random thoughts

2008-10-17T00:21:00.002-06:00

So today I was on my way home when I had a lot of thinking to do...I didn't sleep on the ride like I usually do...therefore it gave me a chance to over think...(which is a dangerous thing to do somedays...especially on the bus).

So one thing that bothers me on the bus... maybe it is just a Colorado thing...but it is the ladies who walk around with the big purses and behind them, they are pulling along a little suitcase like backpack...(you know the ones children pack their toys in when they go to sleep at grandma's)

I mean ...wtf!!! ... Dear ladies y'all go to work every day what are you fitting in your big purse and backpack that you need to carry to and from work every day. I mean you should be able to fit your lunch in your big purse...I know because I manage to do it every day and some of y'all don't bring lunches as I watch you eat McDonalds every day collecting game pieces...so therefore what do you put in that backpack...a refridgerator, shoe factory?

Well I was wondering but then it dawn on me on my ride home...they put a little man name rumplestiltskin inside those stupid backpacks.. with a 13 inch black and white t.v. with its own built in vcr.....

I know those ladies with the big purses and backpacks hustle...they wait until the boss is gone then upzipped out the little man who they've promised their first born to, they pull out that black and white t.v. and pop in an old school tape of a old rerun Ricky Lake show,... while that tiny guy sits and works hard pumping out their job doing all their work....and poor little man doesn't realize these women are tricking him because their first born is way past being born ....their first borns are like 22 now with 3 kids...so yeah those ladies are true con-artist...got a little man doing their work while watching old school Ricki Lake ...back when Ricki was a size 24 and not the 4 she is now (she looks terrific now)...but yeah...I need to get in good with those girls...

I don't have proof...but my theory are usually valid so I 'm pretty sure this is what is going on with those ladies...I'm gonna befriend a few so I can get in on that hustle...

Diva Dicussion

2008-10-15T20:41:00.004-06:00

Over my time blogging...I've met some wonderful, beautiful and strong black women, and just some down right good ladies period, regardless of race. Some of them I've met in person and others I'm excited about meeting in the future...

well recently my big sis. decided to start a women dicussion group where black women come and converse with each other about the things we all experience...

it is name Diva Dicussion..

This is an excellent way to keep abreast of current issues in a fun manner! Feel free to invite more women. The group is a private group so only members will be able to access the discussions. Here is the group's description: Welcome to the Diva Discussion Board! This group is for black women (although all races are free to join) who are interested in financial planning, relationships, health, their kids, business ventures and whatever else comes to mind!

Well with that being said...it would be selfish not to invite the women who have blogged about their lives, from break ups, to weddings, to parenting...etc...

Therefore I wanted to invite you ladies as my guest to join...

If you would like to join email me... thatgirlthatsfly@hotmail.com, and I will send the link to get you set and joining in with the group...even if you want to just read and not comment, you're more than welcome to do so.

peace loves :)

Vintage Clutch Divas - a new blog

2008-10-12T01:23:00.002-06:00

well we finally quit dragging and made a myspace page...just for the convinence we decided to just sell in colorado currently since school and other factors make working on everything a little time cosuming and hetic at times...(but if you are a friend who is like fam...or family in a different state ...you know we can work something out)... but if you live in Colorado and would like to purchase something please feel free to email us at vintageclutchdivas@yahoo.com

the myspace page is

www.myspace.com/vintageclutchdivas

(you may view current purses and prices there..*we are currently in the process of uploading pictures plus our main picture is one of my favorite purses - it was designed by our big sister Tin - every now in then we get it in our hearts to let a family member ...maybe in the future a friend or even two might be able to express their own personal flare* that purse is also for sale...acutally that is still up in the air...I like that purse a lot.)

check out the blog ...(I tend to post there about our progress)

http://vintageclutchdivas.blogspot.com/ *I just did a new post*

peace lovelies...

Obama Rally... Women for Obama

2008-10-09T22:33:00.004-06:00

10.11.08

This Saturday - show your support.

Please attend if you can and even if you can't, please pass this on to everyone you know. Goal is for at least 1100 women – the press will be there so we want to give the best showing possible for the Obama-Biden ticket.

Here are the details – feel free to bring the men and kids along!

1100 WOMEN for OBAMA!

Saturday, October 11th
11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Lowry’s Crescent Park

8th Avenue & Syracuse Street in Denver
Directions: From I-70
Take CO-35/ Quebec St exit-south, EXIT 278.
Merge onto Quebec St . Turn Left onto E 8TH AVE.
End at 8th Ave & Syracuse or Roslyn St .
Park where you can- it’s a small park.

Rally for Change!

Guest Speaker ~ Lieutenant Governor: Barbara O’Brien

Bring friends and family.....pass it on!

Please give us an idea of how many
people in your party will be attending.
E-mail: 1100WomenForObama@gmail.com

We need at least 1100...let’s make this happen!

Plan to get active for Obama after the rally!

OBAMA Campaign for Change

Paid for by Campaign for Change, a project of the
Colorado Democratic Party (www.coloradodems.org) and
not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committ

Miss Humanity 2008

2008-10-09T22:26:00.000-06:00

http://www.myspace.com/misshumanity2008

please add this page and check out the actual website! 90% of the proceeds will go to children’s charities in the Denver metro area!!! Please add this page! http://www.myspace.com/misshumanity2008

Here's the actual website as well

http://www.misshumanity2008.com

get involved yall!!

Please pass on the word and tell your friends and fam, if you know someone encourage them to apply.

*out of state is welcome to apply*

4 u

2008-09-30T23:39:00.001-06:00

4 u

You don't know how great you are,
while I can express it a thousand times
and say it in a thousand rhymes, all clever
carefully plotted lines composed of
the obvious off center climax.
You'll never truly know just how great you are,
so the acceptance of my gratitude you will
absorb in all your attitude like humble pie.
while that is the reason why you are ....
while that is the reason I love....
while that is the reason you become more...
while that is the reason that mere words..
You don't know..

Just when I pump you up, I let you down ....like a nasty drug

2008-09-25T20:31:00.002-06:00

So yeah I'm aware that I did not provide a weekly spotlight this week...not intentionally but I was wrapped up in a few things...(work comes before pleasure) and if pleasure comes from the work than it definitely comes first

...so with that being said...I will do one for next week...until then...

peace enjoy the weekend...

Coming through during the Clutch moments

2008-09-21T16:48:00.002-06:00

So about 3 weeks ago me and my sister were talking and we decided to start a business of our own...

so we have offically starting Vintage Clutch Divas.

go check out the blog....the site and everything else is in process as far as the paypal account goes for purchases and what not..I'll keep ya posting on the grand opening of the website...(but for those curious or nosy you can peep the blog) ...I will be posting on there every now and then and put up pictures of works finished or in progess as sneak previews.

peace and wish us well...

Thanks love

so much for the dream....

2008-09-18T20:12:00.006-06:00

Oh boy...I was reading Honey Libra's blog and she was talking about the cable guy who was dominican and how she never knew of an ugly dominican until she seen him...lmao...

well it got me to thinking about the things I take as truth until someone proves me wrong even though I have no valid evidence of the fact that it was true to begin with...

for example: I've never met an ugly guy name Jason...usually if a man is name Jason he is probably cute...and I can't think off the top of my head if I ever been wrong on that theory but if it does happen I'll let y'all know...

but what is something you know or a group of things or people you know to not be ugly or at least not in your lifetime yet ...

fill in the blanks... I never seen a ugly ________, but I could be wrong on that theory.

so I never really listen to lil wayne...but today I listen to the radio which I sure took away a lot of precious brain cells...any ways they play lil wayne a lot and I think every song I listen to...he didn't make sense ...nothing he said made sense..but I guess that is why people like him..they can't understand him and instead of admitting they didn't get what he said (because he isn't that bright) they just say he is a good artist so they can look smart...I'm not buying it... I don't like that guy no matter how many people songs he is on and who is feat. him...every thing weezy touch shouldn't be gold...put the pipes down people. (enough of my lil wayne vent)

top model this season sucks --- at least that is what I think...I'm not watching..

crazy thing happen to me after work today...pissed me off...so..I went to Shelby's Bar & Grill off of 18th & Welton St downtown...

I went to meet co-workers there for a quick drink. Inside the bartender said she wouldn't serve me because I was sitting outside and a waitress was out there. The waitress outside would walk pass me like she couldn't see me on the very small patio and pretend like I didn't want a drink. My friend gave me her little stone for her free extra beer I guess, so when the waitress comes back I asked her for a drink and she tells me I have to go inside for a drink if I use the little stone. So I go back inside and the woman at the bar tells me I can't get a drink with the stone because she didn't give it to me and she will only give it to the person she gave it to???

So I'm like okay...can I get a beer and she tells me I have to get if from the waitress...I gave up and went back outside without a drink...the waitress sees me and knows I want a drink but refuses to serve me. Now I just got off work and just wanted one beer and couldn't get decent service...I left and kept my money...wouldn't suggest this place to anyone.

I felt like they should have just put a sign on the door that said no coloreds, coons, spearchuckers, niggers...etc allowed...thought I went back to the 50's....I mean I do rock an afro but no one should leave a place feeling like they've been denied service for no reason.

just makes you wonder sometimes...

peace

(no blog is created equal...a different post can be seen at : Myspace Loves Januari)

I'm so proud of me...

2008-09-15T22:59:00.008-06:00

Here it is Sept...3 years almost and I've kept my word as my bond...I'm trying to get my blogging street cred back like something fierce...what can I say fall brings out the most in me.. :)

So as promised... here is the weekly spotlight... new school style

Song of the Week: Quintessence "30th Hour"- (okay so they are kind of old school they've been around forever...but they are one of my favorites... and 30th Hour is off their album 5am *which sticks with the after 2000 theme* I love their 5am album and think it is a classic) you can check them out at Last FM...

you can hear their cds there and even get a free download of 30th Hour... a few of my favorites songs are "Raindrops" off the Talk Less Listen More album and "You don't Care" & "5AM" off the 5AM album.

Show of the Week: Bridezilla... - what is up with blue wedding dresses...that is so tacky but apperently this women don't care...they look like prom dresses...and is it just me but whenever they do someone from Texas...I never understand what they say..which is sad because I know people from Texas and they don't sound like that...I'm confused

Color of the Week: Mustard yellow...since it is fall I'm asking that we put away with the Fanta yellow(Fanta Yellow) and bring out the warm and softer shades of colors like a deeper yellow with a hint of gold...I'm just saying you don't have to do it but it is a suggestion.

Movie of the Week: 25th Hour - one of my favorite movies of all time... so of course I'd make it the weekly movie as I could watch it everyday...and watching it will get you prep to go and see Spike Lee's newest movie on Sept 26.

Quote of the Week: McCain = More of the Same...(I put it in red as a warning) I'm just saying if you enjoy 4 more years of Bush politics than vote for McCain..and for those confused Palin is not running for president it is McCain so quit with the whole woman bit it is like talking about the cheerleaders winning a basketball game when the ball players did all teh work...she won't be in charge...if you don't want more Bush...I say don't follow the insane and those who lack brains... McCain = More of the Same...

Website of the Week: Broken Equipment Production - this is a link to their blogspot page but they have a myspace and youtube....the characters are imitations of the rappers....I mean I died laughing at the various cartoons...I mean the Lil Wayne is pure classic...they will keep you busy laughing...lol ...check them out on YouTube for sure if you haven't heard of them.

well if you're dreaming of more...something old school

Myspace Loves Januari

unfinished poetry

2008-09-13T13:27:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I begin to write things and never finish them...this is one of them....sometimes the ending pops into my head but my process is usually to not write things down so quickly like in the past but I let them sit and if I can remember it 3 weeks later...then it deserve ink and paper to make it offical...this is stuck between the two worlds.... I have no name or real ideal where it may end up but I worte it to begin with as I did know back then a month ago until my mood changed...so I think I might finish it or just scrape it and use the parts I like for a better piece...like

"I bet the earth quakes
with each walk of your step
as it becomes excited
to be underneath
the heat of your body,
I presume in that same position
I'd crumble too,"

that is the part I like more or so over the rest...I don't know...just me rambling...

*I know words are not spelled right and it looks a mess...this isn't a final stage so ignore all grammar woes*

you're so cool
the way your lips move
in that sly little curl and snare
can't help but stare
as you demand all eyes on you.
and I can feel your gaze penetrate my skin
so I begin to play it cool too

pretend like I don't notice
the amazing skills of your aroma
and how delicately
it wraps itself around the room
and creeps into my aura.

you're so cool
I bet the earth quakes
with each walk of your step
as it becomes excited
to be underneath
the heat of your body,
I presume in that same position
I'd crumble too,
shedding my outside ice cold boldness

pretend like I don't realize
the amazing ability of your fingertips
and how smoothly
they view every inch, every area
and sneak into my radius.

you're so cool
the sound of your voice dances
the melody so smooth the trees sway
hips second guess if they should
continue to be wallflowers
or begin to bend like the rest
that have become subdue

pretend like I don't acknowlegde
the amazing power of your gaze
and how digilently
it tastes the mood hidden inside of me
and breaks into my inner core

(to be continued or not....)

she is so wrong

2008-09-13T12:09:00.001-06:00

I saw this woman at King Sooper last night....it rained all morning and it was not a freezing day but it was a nice cool fall day...but the short were dirty and those nasty bear claws were filthy and she had a scarf around her neck....I hope she doesn't always do stupid stuff like this.

it was on my camera phone so I couldn't really get a perfect shot...but you can still see a little.

All in a week

2008-09-09T21:27:00.003-06:00

A day late but still with the same effort...

I planned on doing this blog yesterday but had other things that needed to be handle first...

Well in sticking with my plan to bring the 3rd year of blogging back as tough as the first year. I'm going to do a weekly spotlight. This will consist on things that I'm promoting for the week...on Myspace the old school spotlight (meaning anything older than 8 years ago..2000 and beyond) will take place and on Blogspot the new school will have its shine. ( I consider 2000 + fairly new...so well stick with that)

so welcome to the first

Spotlight for the week of Sept 8 - 14 (New School)

Phrase of the week: What chu would had did? (um I pretty sure that this isn't proper english but a girl said it as she referred to asking her friend, "what would they do" if some girls who they didn't like came up to the bus stop in a car waiting for them to get off the bus to fight.) I say this week tell grammar to take a back seat and ask someone "What chu would had did?"

Bus tip of the week: (Now that I'm riding a new bus it is a whole new journey ...I've learn a few rules) if you are short on cash but would like to get high and have no weed, don't fret ...just take the #15 and stand at the bus stop on broadway and colfax....I think it is a rule that at least 3 groups of people must either be selling, smoking or rolling a joint or blunt at all times. I'm pretty sure if you just stand in between at least two weed smoking ciphers you will catch a great contact buzz and whatever they smoke smells strong...I've never smoke weed on the #15 bus stop but I sure the pass week of me standing near that location, that from the second hand smoke I probably will fail a drug test.

Hairstyle of the week: (this is a bonus y'all) ....it is called baby hair...I guess it is making a come back ...therefore is old school flare with new school rules...tired of that same hairstyle of yours, spruce you bob, ponytail, afro, locs...whatever you have with some baby hair...(tip in order to create this look you will need a toothbrush, grease or gel ...sometimes both and some water...I might have to do a vlog about this so you can see it hands on when it comes to creating this look if you don't already know...just let me know if y'all need to see it)

Song of the Week - John Legend feat Andre 3000 (Green Light) --- I like that song...you know it is great for dancing around the house in undies and socks to.

Shoe type of the week: Boots....go out and buy some cute boots for the fall...actually buy more than one pair, I know I'm getting in the mood for boots.

Flower of the week: Marigolds....these always remind me of the fall and my mom, I love the smell of marigolds that were my mom would plant in front of the house so every time you walk to the door you could smell them...

Well there you have it ...the weekly spotlight (the categories will change or stay the same weekly depending on my mood...but if you like to request a category just to see what I recommend for the week, go ahead and I put it in the next week's spotlight and my answer for what to rep. for that week,

example: "candy of the week" ...etc...

so with that being said ....try out the old school weekly spotlight.. http://
blog.mypace.com/lovesjanuari

McCain is a perv

2008-09-03T23:00:00.001-06:00

So during the DNC I learned that McCain engages in bird-watching..aka bird porn... check out the site for the problem...

www.stopbirdporn.org

well on a more serious issue how weak of the McCain group to get a weak and silly brainless woman for vp...I hope they eat her alive but also fuck her...

personally I think the Obama campaign needs to focus on what they've always have which is McCain = Bush....if we ignore the unexperience woman and focus on McCain being Bush...we can remind the people how much we hate Bush ...oh I mean McCain....

enough of that...

now I know you've all wonder where I been...well in a few more days ..September 19...I will have been blogging for 3 years.....my first blog was on blogspot...where I think I will take up more blogging and get back to my roots....pictures and poems and I have a republican theory that is just as credible as my portis gizmo theory so yeah..I'm working of the mystery behind those ass wipes...I call them ass wipes because after watching this RNC bullshit it has my blood pressure up and a lot of words coming out of my mouth. Oh and I've been listening to Nas all day so Fuck Fox News...plus how trashy of a woman who has a pregnant teenage daughter try to talk about Mimi Obama... she is so trashy...no class...

Okay so I won't offically start blogging hard core again until sept 19...that is when I will go back to doing my "not all blogs are created equal" and "two blogs in one"...and give you the option of reading both sites with different stuff...oh and "flash back fridays" will merge and a new "how childish can I be" series ...as yeah even at 26 I know I'm pretty childish...I just wrote a co-worker a ransom letter on his tie that he claims he lost after some kids snatch it on the bus with his racist ass...lol...I'll have to share the story".... now why have I been gone? well I was moving to a new place...I think I just moved into the hood again...let me tell y'all about my neighbors, and my new bus I have to take to get to work..mad hood ... plus I was spending time working and hanging out with the fam. I was sad for a while after being heart broken but I'm healing and I know it is his loss more than mines as I was always sincere with my feelings...so I'm back to silly single Januari with way too much free time to get into a lot of trouble...but good wholesome trouble...

things coming up...I still volunteer for things...like every year the AIDS Walk. So yeah if you want to donate money please don't be afraid to check out the AIDS Walk

http://www.aidswalkcolorado.org/aids_walk_colorado/index.html

you can click on the donate page and find my name... januari harris...but I haven't raised any money as I've been too busy to tell anyone...so please check it out ...I will be there working behind the booth registering runner and walkers and I will donate...I urge you do too.

miss you guys

peace

Januari

oh yeah I manage to piss off a new white male co-worker every day with my support for Obama and it feels good...damn a white man hates to see a black man in charge...but I love to see them get upset about it....lmao..

while you were sleeping...

2008-07-17T03:16:00.003-06:00

I think since I won't have so much time to blog...I'll copy and paste old old poetry....

so recently I was heart broken... :( didn't really received a vaild reason for the ending...with is confusing still to this day...about 2 people know some details..and one know the a lot of what happen and like me they are confuse ....well that is beside the fact...

so recently I was googling the hell out of myself ...becuase we writers tend to do that sometimes just to make sure our words have not evaporated off the page; or for else in that case it implies we never existed and we live to leave our mark in history with words... so yeah...I came across this poem...

okay so I wrote this when I was about 19,...I wasn't heart broken and wasn't dating but I wrote this for some reason...never really understood it or liked it too much *wasn't one of my favorite things I've written* but I completed it anyways...it is actuallly a series of short pieces that I felt didn't stand well alone so I combined them into stages...lol...

but as I read it today...I feel this way..and it kind of made me feel not so crappy about missing him..funny ..its like I was writing for my future...so I figured I'd share..

***************************************************

the death of love

....................................................................................................................................................

part 1- reality:
you drift away before closure,
skin cells still warm and fresh on thighs,
soon to be brushed off
kisses on the breast that were once
wet, dry up like old tears.
dig up the eyes once deep embedded
in the skin.
peel off the weight of the body that
once laid heavy on top.
paint over the hand prints that rested
on the waist.
glue back the pieces of a broken heart.

part 2- admittance:
I wash you out of my hair:

the sound of your voice,
the visions of your smile,
the touch of your breath,
the smell of your skin
the taste of you

my friend

still lingers.

part 3- relaspe:
I left the door open,
just in case...
you forgot your key but,
just in case...
to be sure and ready,
just in case...
i hope you do if by any chance,
just in case...
you forgot something,
just in case...
you left something,
just in case...
you wanted to,
just in case...
you decide to,
return.

part 4- acceptance:
We never had an end
so i don't now where to start.
how could you be so careless with my heart?
torn apart, broken memories,
shattered dreams,
shouts and screams.

We drown....

feelings held down
i don't wanna play this game,
not anymore i dont'
each time it is the same.
i can't be hurt again, i won't.
lets not start over.
it would just be to painful,
lets not pretend anymore.
it's not worth our time
someway we came undone,
no longer as one.
from feelings we can't hide or run,

We drown....

....................................................................................................................................................

(untitled - this isn't a marathon)

2008-06-06T21:31:00.001-06:00

(untitled - this isn't a marathon)

it always feels better
when I'm doing it alone
set out to conquer life
as a one woman sprinter
while in my soul, I can never
run fast enough or
jump high enough
to make it over
that one single hurdle,
that always appears
out of thin air.
and sometimes I start to feel
if I can just do it in peace
then I can make it.
As they always seem to slow me down,
while for him
even though I want to lessen the pace
I don't want to lose the speed
I've already acquire
as he shows no signs of keeping up
anytime soon.
And to them it always seems like a
good ideal, to watch my burst of energy
fly by so quickly...
until they realize it doesn't change
so they start to ease up and
the attention span of keeping up
starts to wane and disappear.
so when I look up, they are gone
out of thin air.
even he, one day will evaporate
so I keep praying while fearing
of when that time comes
and I'll decide to look back
cause I know, there will be nothing there
but just the thin air.

januari 06/2008

untitled (for u)

2008-05-30T01:09:00.000-06:00

I miss those lips
and moments when
I would wrap myself around you,
while leaning towards those hips of yours
I move inwards trying to rest my body
into you as if you've become a wall,
I plead with big brown eyes
and a soft smile,
hoping it will be enough
to supplement as a valid form of payment,
as I stand here begging for a kiss.
balancing on tip-toes to reach my prize
and to smell your scent again
my arms around your neck
I plant them as an anchor
preparing myself for when I begin to melt
as your mouth interlocks with mines.

and this is a moment between us two
that I want to last forever.
so I fantasize about if I could freeze time
or even slow it down for a second.
since we live in a world of our own
with a population that is made for just two
with each touch and glimpse,
of you to me, I'll fall in love all over again
like it was the first time you discovered my warmth
and to you my heart than begin to belong.

and I miss those afternoon naps
and night time silent slumbers
when I can be my natural being
naked in insecurities
but comfortable lying peaceful next to you.
while I tend to use you as a blanket
covered my body within your arms
and you keep me warm
when I drift inside those dreams.
where I harvest the replays of our days
working to store the newly fresh baked memories
created between me and you.
the sound of your breath in unison
with mines, I will with ease
inch nearer to your soul
sly in my ways of moving
just an inhale away from your heart
hoping you haven't notice the gap close
while you lay there sleeping soundly.
so I adjust myself to lay on your chest
since it has recently become my favorite pillow
I've decide to rest my head upon its comfort
now and always until the end of time.

and this is a moment between us two
that I want to last forever.
so I fantasize about if I could freeze time
or even slow it down for a second.
since we live in a world of our own
with a population that is made for just two
with each touch and glimpse,
of you to me, I'll fall in love all over again
like it was the first time you discovered my warmth
and to you my heart than begin to belong.

Possibilities

2008-05-30T01:06:00.000-06:00

you were the silver lining to
missed connections
and water-down realities.
where our it might be, became "maybe"
and "maybe" became "could be"
as we evolve into
should we give this thing a try.
while we've come to this scene before
we are shoe-in's for insanity
living off leaps of faith
and theories about the understudies
and last year's supporting cast,
wondering if the characters in
each other history were replace.
then it couldn't have been us but them
to the reason why old loves failed.
For you and I blend so complimentary
I want to believe this is fate
as the reason for our conquest
when dealing with those old loves,
that were never completed.
So gracefully I accept defeat,
As we began to repeat old traits
of sinking into love again.
I start to slip into your habits
and you became conditioned
to my peculiar ways.
as I belonged to you,
like I was always yours
even before our first kiss
or when fingertips learned
to roam towards unknown territory.
your words had already
claimed my heart,
and I with white flag felt the
need to surrender,
prisoner of love in war
where nothing is fair,
but all is played for keeps.
so I played for the sake
of wanting to lose
and I played for the sake of
needing to win
while in reality
the game has already
come and gone,
I execute excuses to
pretend as if nothing
has changed between us.
while everything in the picture
is a blurry vision now,
I want to pretend
as if we are just as clear
as blue skies
still submerge in our
hidden messages
stuck on the
residue of subliminal
kisses and wishes
of a different past,
one where with the
possibility of our luck
we maybe even would
have crashed courses and
cross paths sooner
we'd would have settled into
a deep love by then
to where our history would
stretch on forever and already
have outlived the deepest rivers

Where is kryptonite when you need it?

2008-04-26T23:02:00.001-06:00

Hello world...

Today's blog is brought to you by the color BLUE,

the letter "G" as in Gangsta

and the enegry drink from Tupac...

What is that you say??? ...did I just say Tupac has an energy drink...yeah I sure did, you didn't know he had one did you... well he does and it is what thugs on earth, heaven and hell all drink as their drink of choice...

see it is the real drink for hustlers..and yeah that is an actual can found in an actual liquor store...

so since we are on the topic of liquor..

I ended up at a wine tasting yesterday...(Sorry City for not being able to check you out at the Kashba aka Club Reign...but the wine tasting was free and you know free events win by default)

So it was nice...I had some wine ...ate some spicy salsa... (they didn't have any cheese... black folks...had wings though...black folks...who does that at a wine tasting, no cheese but hot wangs??? black folks that's who)

So it was a wine tasting/ auction (fund raiser for the childrens summer camp) and later they would have dancing...

So the crowd is a older crowd of course...and later on that night as the crowd kind of thin out the dj started to take request. So he was telling the crowd if you request a song you better dance to it when he plays it...

Yall know the "older" crowd loves their line dancing..so he play cupid shuffle and the mississippi cha cha slide...played a slow song by request...then Soulja boy comes on, and I start to think either the dj is drunk or....yeah...somebody requested it...but who??? no one is under 18 here... (I can't lie I have that song as a ringtone on my phone and I use it as my alarm to get up in the morning)...but I don't know the dance....and I don't want to learn it...still it always seems like I always get to be witness to the most ironic stuff...people over 18 and well over 18 trying to learn how to supaman.... don't believe me...I got the evidence this time...lol

peace loves..

to all my boyfriends... yall still better be staying sexy...it's yall girlfriend signing off once again.

Fellas its your girlfriend

2008-04-25T15:00:00.000-06:00

Yeah I've decided if R-Kelly can declare himself boyfriend of all women between the ages of 12 -42 by saying Ladies its your boyfriend on his songs...

and if (I don't know who sing the song) but it goes "your girl told me she wants a hood N*@ " (um...last time I check I didn't say that I wanted a hood N*@... but according to the song, we girls want that)....

well since rappers and r&b singers and everyone else can determined what I said I wanted...I've decided by dictatorship that with my own ruling I am now the official girlfriend of all men...yeah that is right you bitches belong to me now...let your wives and ladies know I'm renting yall out...but you are now property of Januari because I'm now the official girlfriend of the fellas like r-kelly is the official boyfriend of the ladies according to him...

um as your new girlfriend I guess I should let you know something...

so today I found out something about me...I am a nerd... yeah fellas ya girlfriend is a nerd,...if you 've ever wanted to date a smart chick..your dream has come true...you have nerdy me and I'm your official girlfriend....

now I know you aer wondering how did I determine I was a nerd, my picture looks so cool with my fake Chanel's sunglasses on...which by the way are called "Forever Chantels" (named by my brother).. don't hate on em...

well yeah I look cool..but there are other qualities that make me a nerd....well I'm kind of hood too...so I'm a hood nerd, so its officially safe to say ya man said he wanted a "hood nerd"..and now he has me the official girlfriend to all fellas... I've claimed the monopoly on boyfriends since no one else has...

how to tell I'm a nerd...

1. well I have a graphing calculator...and I use it often and not to do homework or budgeting but just to play with numbers...

2. I have a universal remote and yes I take it with me to the gym to change the channels...

3. I own a shirt that says "Talk nerdy to me".... oh and I so enjoy it when guys talk "nerdy" to me

how to tell I'm kind of hood

1. I work out to Mike Jones and Hurricane Chris "drop and gimme 50"...yeah I'll admit to that.

2. I'm still mad that I don't have my G-Mo cd and those "mark busta" - old school for suckas Triple C never responded to my email....

3. I like country music...(I discovered that today)....yeah its hood to like country music...why??? because country music is hood...I mean you never heard a female rapper say girls are made of gun-powered and lead (female rappers just talk about purses and shoes)...but country music...yeah those chicks talk about waiting by the door with a shotgun for yo' bitch ass to walk through since you just made bail... now that is hood...

Well I'm out for the day.

to my boyfriends: yall stay sexy...

until next time...it ya girlfriend signing off.

lol

peace.

*don't take the girlfriend thing serious...but you know...if Kels and everyone else can claim titles...I wanted to claim a my own title too*

You can’t live with them and would perfer to live with out them...

2008-02-23T19:08:00.001-07:00

Who am I talking about - co workers, not all of them but you know..so many of them you feel like you can do without....you know my personal co-worker put on earth to torture me with her presence is the bird lady....

So she plays the same stupid radio station everyday, Mix 100…(whatever the hell it is), you know the one that I think they play at the Goodwill and Arc, (thrift stores for those of you wondering)....

the radio station is one where no songs are newer than 1985 (I'm guessing when shopping for old clothes it is only right to play old music)… now I don't understand how she can listen to the station everyday even when I make comments about hearing the same 5 old songs over and over with an occasional Jordin Sparks played in between the old songs every 30 mins….(I think she plays the old station to take her away like her own personal Calgon, like it must make her feel like she is shopping at the arc on a Tuesday when purple tags are 30% off when listening to The Mix instead of sitting at work draggin her butt pretending to work while it takes her 2 hours to punch holes in deposit reports to put in the books.) Plus how can you work when you're on the phone trying to convince your boyfriend (by the way the rest of us think he is made up) to not break up with you. So Thrusday I thought I'd have some fun, when she went to lunch I change the station to 95.7…now she was force to listen to Bobby Brown and song by LL Cool J and Justin Timberlake…. I wonder if she was daring enough to change it, but she didn't ...she knew better, I'm like te office bully….lol..I enjoyed changing the station though...I'm tired of listening to damn John Tess in the afternoon...I want to hear Whoppi in the morning..(not really but if it gets under her skin...it will be done)...I mean Aaliyah came on...I was gonna tell her to turn it up...I'm in my seat, rocking the boat, changing postion, working the middle....all that good stuff...

I think monday I will make a mix cd to put in the disc player when she is on lunch, and put it on repeat and I wish her ass face would try to stop what is playing....lol

You know the crazy thing about it though what gets me is how petty and childish and spiteful I can be....that was just mean of me to change the station knowing she doesn't really like r&b and pop music and she just loves her percious Mix 100....and I know she won't change it back while I'm sitting there...she waits until the morning when she is there by herself to change it back to her crappy station...but I think when I do change the radion she probably sits in her seat pissed just thinking about all the Steely Dan songs she is missing out on...which is fine with me but funny, because she knows if it was me and someone change the station, I'd come back and be like

"who change the station?, I gotta put it back on my jams now...." <--(I say jams because when refering to old music you have to use old slang...its only right)..

but yeah if I had the radio on my desk and happen to put it on a certain station only to come back with it on some country music...I'm changing the music back to the station I want. And even though I did change it to a station that plays old songs too...I rather be toture by old Ja-rule songs that make me feel like I'm at happy hour than old Tracy Chapman songs that make me think I should call up my grandma for some dress shopping so I can use her senior citizen discount on top of the regular wed. white tag 20% off deal.

I tell you ....some co-workers...can't live with them....wish they would go away and be replace with cuter, smater, funnier co-workers.

peace
Jan

Life lately

2008-01-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

I know it has been over 2 months since I left a blog. So today I guess I can update you with my life, work has been busy and think have been okay, I 26 now..yeah a birthday has passed, (I'm still claiming I 23..lol). Beside work I've been getting out and trying new things.....like I went to Bar Louie's ....I mean it was the worse service ever. I recommend that anybody wants something to eat to avoid that place.

Movies....

I seen:
I am Legend - loved it...
First Sunday - not a fan of tyler perry movies....so I'm not a fan of movies that are like tyler perry movies... I want my money back
Predator vs. Alien - I don't understand any of the first movies so I didn't get this one..very stupid and weird.

Hair....

I pressed it out...
pictures can be seen on myspace..but I didn't keep it like that for too long. but maybe one day I'll do it again.

So far that is all...I will do another post later.

peace
Jan

I think we've been bamboozled

2007-11-22T03:44:00.001-07:00

I know I promise a blog and left y'all high and dry, such a bad person I can be.

These days I've been overly busy so bare with me. So today I had to leave work early because I had to attend a funeral. Now the funeral was sad as they always are but it kind of got out of control at the end.

Well there we were and the eulogy was to be done by the preacher, and I thought okay that is fine, most eulogies tend to be done by a close friend of the family or something so I guess a preacher counts as that... until 15 mins into the eulogy I realized....

we had been sucker into a sermon like it was sunday morning...I mean I started thinking..wait wait wait..what day is this? did I wake up and sleep walk my butt into a church I mean I wasn't planning on going to church on sunday but maybe god was trying to tell me something and I didn't realize I got up and slept walked into church...I started looking in my purse for some small cents and maybe a dollar or two to put into the offering tray, I started to wonder if I was gonna need my check book later for tithes since even though I'm not a member most of my fam goes to the church so I think in church laws by default I have to contribute tithes since I don't have a current church home...lol...

I started to look at the ceiling noticing little things that might need fixing...thinking...damn..they gonna ask for money for the building and new choir robes..and some money for the trip that the "SWAG drill team" is taking soon (*swag* Stomping With Alliance-2 God ....<<- swag is not a real drill team as far as I know...but y'all know they always make up the craziest acronyms for their drill team, praise team, dance team names...--)...I got christmas coming up and phone bills due...I can't afford church fees and tithes and offering and things....

but then he ended the eulogy like the end of church asking sinners to change over to the lord...(I was so waiting for them to pull out those chairs...have people join the church and we all end on Amen ....) until I realize..wait there is still a body up there...this isn't church but a funeral...uuuurrrggghhhh...

I mean I don't mean to gripe in church but this is my GRIPE....I don't tend to go in a church period and walk into there for any reason because I'm always getting hustle into a sermon, I mean ...I don't think I use even use the restroom in the church without fearing that the preacher might stand by the door preaching while I tinkle and sprinkle...

and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's been suckered into a sermon and if you were raised baptists...I know you've been suckered and haven't realize it probably because your use to it...

so I looked up a few definitions to help you determine if you were hustled into a sermon when it wasn't a sermon sunday...

#1. Events where you might encounter an unwanted sermon.
a. weddings
b. funerals
c. any moment you walk into a church and the preacher is around.
d. any moment you walk into any room regardless of a church or not and a preacher is present.

definition of a sermon - 1 : a religious discourse delivered in public usually by a clergyman as a part of a worship service

definition of a eulogy - 1 : a commendatory oration or writing especially in honor of one deceased
2 : high praise ....
(so if neither of these apply to a sermon why do I have to hear about sinners not going to heaven and if they want to see the deceased again who (we know went to heaven according to the preacher)...so we better fly right...???... I agree we all want heaven one day..but save the sermon for sunday...let's talk about the person we all came to wish a safe homecoming to.)

definition of wedding vow -: a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition...
(so why does the preacher tend to think it is okay to ramble on about how beautiful this wedding is because god married adam and eve and not adam and steve....???...I agree the union is beautiful..but save the sermon for sunday ...lets get to the "I do's"

as you can see...sermon does not equal any of these functions and can not be substituted or replaced to fit in any of these situations ... so why do preacher think it is okay???

I mean we don't bother them on church sermon time with eulogy ..and I've never seen the sermon part of service replace with choir rehearsal or with a dance from the SWAG drill team....

so I just wanted to say...dear preacher's time is money and I don't eat dinner during sermon time...and I don't exchange wedding vows while you have the congregation turn to second Corinthians chapter 18....so why at un-sermon times...are you spamming me like a telemarketer with sermons. If I end up at church during sermon time practicing my two step down the aisle for future wedding bridal parties I just might happen to be in one day...can the preacher get upset with my practicing??...

I'm just saying...it is only fair right?

peace Jan

Love like Foreign Lands IV

2007-08-13T01:29:00.000-06:00

Love like Foreign Land IV

It becomes amazing to me
how quickly I'm aware of your presence
way before the first kick,
or before cold gels and fuzzy screens
inside of a doctor's office.
My newly developed keen sense of smell,
as you make me feel life
and the world in high definition.
This is your way of sending me hidden signals.
It lets me know how forever we will bond.
I'll watch you carefully over the next year
growing through me.
Lying in bed wondering what stage you're in
at the moment you cross my mind.
Conditioning you with the finer things
through layers of skin and headphones,
I imagine you hear the muffle sounds
of the music that I play
or how I read you bedtime stories out loud.
You've never seen us
but you've manage to learn our voices.
Leaving tiny handprints in my stomach
from the inside looking out each time
you feel that he is near.
It's like you're aware that you are
just as much his as you are mines.
I wonder what you're doing in there,
maybe drawing pictures in my womb
leaving a story of the beginning
of your history for a future sibling.
I rub you and breathe in real deep,
send my voice and words through whispers
into my stomach instead of out in the hollow air.
I will tell you to take my eyes,
and if you have a choice to choose my lips,
and remember to take my lover's mahogany skin.
I tell you to have his personality
because that is what attracted me to him,
the man you'll soon call father.
I know you'll be a reflection of us,
regardless of who's genes you're blessed with,
as you'll be the perfect blend of two,
evidence that together in union we once existed.
Creating our greatest art piece, between us ever made

januari-08/2007

Love like Foreign Lands III

2007-08-12T00:51:00.001-06:00

Love like Foreign Lands III

Always observing carefully
like an inspector, he checks and probes
with delicate intensity
as he traces with eyes
the curve and winding slopes of my form,
squeezing my arm and then my thigh.
I watch him take in the softness of my skin.
Before he rest his head upon my chest.
To him I'm rich and priceless as
ancient artifacts he just uncovered.
wide-eyed he becomes at a notice of my breast,
revealing them from their support
as if this discovering changes everything
in his studies before now.
taking use of all five senses.
touches my belly with eyes close,
begins to read my wants and yearnings like Braille.
presses his ear and breaths quietly,
listens to my lungs fill with rapid air.
he hears how I'm anxious from his presence.
smelling the dried faint scent lingering
on my navel from an early morning shower
now mixed with the aroma of sweat.
so he excites his palate
his mouth moves between each breast,
engulfs and hides each nipple it chooses,
tasting as a rhythmical art form.
tongue loops around the left, right,
right, and back to the left again.
he then eyes each mole like mapping out the
stars in the night sky,
like his guide to find his way back home
after long journeys through my bones and soul.
kisses the first mole at the top
where my forehead and my hairline meet,
kisses the one between my lips and nose,
moves to the one on my right cheek.
finds the one between my breast
(he will kiss there twice)
lifts each arm and leg to search carefully,
applying kisses to each spot, even the
ones that tend to hide, licks lips as he starts to
target the one near the top of my inner thigh.
He's thorough, uncovering down to the tip of my toes.
patiently doing his job, undisturbed in his
method of double spotting each point.
Tomorrow he repeat his routine, and I will let him,
as he makes sure to map each mole again.
comparing his findings with past research,
As he can never be to careful in his expeditions
of documenting my moles in his memories
just in case he just might discover
if a new one appears or an old one disappears.

januari-08/2007

Love like Foreign Lands

2007-08-09T09:24:00.000-06:00

Love like Foreign Lands

We are Castaways
on an island made for two.
With time the customs become familiar.
Your body I study like a map.
There is a lake under your right eye,
mountains near your ear.
We must be lost living in or near the rainforest
at the base of your neck.
(my favorite place to rest.)
We've journeyed here months ago,
since wandering around searching for oasis
in the desert at your lower back.
Who knew that we'd find peace near your chest.
I've become pretty acquainted with this land of yours,
the rich brown finely texture soil, I could travel
with my eyes closed at night
and still find my way home.
Now I've learn to love this place,
Even if the area and the language of the natives is new.
Maybe within years I can obtain citizenship.
Our childeren will be born. We'll be side by side.
wanting and sitting.
Like how the tree and stone sit together.
waiting to do to each other
what the stone does for the tree
and the tree for the stone.

copywrite Januari - 05/2001

*************************************************************

Love like Foreign Lands II

I become 5 years old again
asking you a million in one question
as I'm curious to know your history,
thirsty for the story behind the pictures,
the hieroglyphics that cover your body.
tracing my finger around the large one
that covers most of your chest.
I study the past nicknames,
the design and symbols
that you might have compulsively picked
without careful consideration,
showing how young you probably were
when making poor decision.
I'm intrigued by each piece as they are
the key to your life before me,
I wonder why the guy on your left arm looks sad
or what makes you wanna get the one
on the right side of your chest
covered up with a new image.
I lay my head on my favorite one,
hoping that it will whisper secrets about itself
and tell me gossip about the others,
I wait for them to explain to me
the pain of the past that you sometimes hide.
I kiss the one on your back and conclude for now,
my childlike prowl will have to wait.
I pull you closer to my body and you soon feel
my eyes hint about science projects where
two bodies dissolve into one,
tonight you may not be ready just yet
to decipher your body's visual history,
but I have other ways love,
to find the past, much can be found without words.
So when the sun blends into the night,
you'll melt into my arms.
Where later I'll mold your soul into mines
studying you like a archaeologist with clay.
Delicately unraveling your history.

copywrite Januari - 08/2007

Who did this? Who is trying to be their son's horrible father?

2007-08-07T13:29:00.000-06:00

So loves....how is life going..

mines is well...um things have been sucky at the most...and kind of busy...I started to work out again even though I have no motivation to do so, I still get up and do it anyways....but enough about that...

I'm kind of sad.... see my camera died on saturday,...yeah I dropped it one to many times and it was in the basement, ...that floor is concrete with some of the most thin carpet ever so pretty much anything I drop on it breaks, that is why my face was crack and on the ground when I fell on it, that floor is deadly...

so yeah until I replace my baby boy... "I the camera whore" will have to suffer without changing up my pictures and y'all know how I love to change pictures...

I think once after it fell and died, since the zoom on it refuses to work and it won't adjust anymore I turned into the hood momma...I did a few rolls, screamed at the top of my lungs, jumped up and down and look for someone to slap while proclaiming, "WHY, WHY, WHY,....OH LORD MY BABY,...TAKE ME RIGHT NOW, {well not right now, but after I have one more sip of this malt liquour and after I finish doing the chicken head to LLoyd's *Get it Shawty*...}...(since that is my song and I downloaded it as a ringtone and it was playing cuz I was getting a phone call)"...

well I didn't act that over dramatic, and I didn't chicken head or drink malt liquour... but I felt like I should have,...that camera was the love child of me and my cell phone man "Mr. The V"...so it sucks...I will buy a new one cuz I can't live without my camera, and Mr. The V doesn't cut it with the picture taking skills ...he is better than a lot of other cameras and camera phones but he wasn't like my baby boy with picture taking.....we've had good times and taken so many foolish pictures together...I will miss that camera.

But speaking of pictures.....You know ....they should consider this child abuse...

See my old boss and his children went to disney world... and of course he is so goofy he takes this lovely picture while in the bahamas.....

Say What!!!...

okay it is one thing to walk out the house in tighty super stupid yellow speedos, but to force your baby boy to do it...

that will scar him for life, I mean this is a back shot of the drawls tight around the ass..I can only fathom what the front might be clinching too all snuggly and what not.

And why he make the little one come out in the same outfit as him...is this the new buddy system on the beach..is that what's hot on the street..

not only will nasty men who end up on dateline be checking out his son in those "catch a fellow yellow" drawls but he has probably scarred his son for life as his friends will forever laugh...

this should be consider child abuse...don't let me catch his father..I'm callin social service...

if I was his momma I probably would have had a "clocker's moment" right about then....I'd be running out house yelling, "who did this, who is trying to be my son father?...who did this too my son..." all pissed and stuff knowing good well I can't be mad cuz I let his skeezo daddy bring him out in matching father and son mighty tighty sets ...lol

Well in other news...

Do y'all know I have a guy who is tyring to be my captain save-a-me....

and the biggest problem...I don't even want a captain save-a-me..

like he even offer to replace my baby boy the day he died, and I'm thinkin don't offer to buy me a new camera because if you do I'm gonna buy the cannon I really wanted which is a little more costly...(but this guy doesn't even really know me and hasn't for long, I mean at least try to charm the pants off of me first)...Nigga is you rollin??...."I know he don't do drugs but with all this acting like captin save-a-januari"...he might be... who tries to buy a woman's love, that ain't normal...

Like he is cool but not my type...I mean we went on a date and hung out at Jazz at Jacks and the handsome older men next to us had more charm than him...

he is such a bland guy and I don't mean dorky sifi nerdy type (guys like that are cute)...but I mean ...moves like molasses, talks like molasses and act like molasses... (Like Little Brother says...."a stall piece of gum would have more pop" than him)...

I think he would be a guy I liked if he had a personality and was funny, but man....he is the most boring guy I've ever met, he doesn't take any risk...and everything he does is so stale..even talking to him it is like ...he'll calls me and won't talk but asks me why I'm so quiet, you called me??...and you don't talk sports, or politics...or about movies or anything...it is quite sad...he isn't funny, doesn't try to be and doesn't want to be funny...,

He won't laugh at my jokes (I don't think he gets them...and even if he doesn't he can still laugh)....doesn't go around singing "aye bay bay" - well I hate that song so that is a good thing but I mean...he dresses like he is in his 90s and talks like he is was born in 1918 and he lets women walk all over him,...it is like "whatever you want, I'll do it"... if I wanted a doormat I'd buy one..... HELLO...can he act his age for once and be in his early 30's which means he should act his shoe size...or close to it...

I mean he is perfect when it comes to treating me nicely, but he is a snooze and he can't spell...and that bothers me...I know we are texting and all but if you always spell "queen as qween" and "angel as angle"..and when you ask me "am I done with my here"...huh...what's that???...I was "braiding my hair, sucka"....how can I even like you...

lol..that is kind of petty and childish but that is how I am...

peace and love
Jan.

Well I have everything ready but the most important piece...silly me...

2007-08-01T01:54:00.000-06:00

So I never did call the coke snorter baby denairo...just didn't feel the need and even though we were out hanging downtown where he lives ...I didn't want to ruin my night seeing him...ha ha...

so sunday ...I was in a sappy mood, sunday seems to be my time to bitch and pout about being alone lately..but I tend to get over it...I think I was down cause most of the women I know either have great guys in their lives or have met great guys and me...well I've tasted the rainbow and even though I've enjoyed it and laughed a lot and made great male friends from it...as some of them are nice guys but just not right for me...I kind of get sad cause I just want to find one favorite flavor to become addicited to...but I've haven't had any luck...

well with age a lot of people I know are starting familes now...I'm kind of jealous...(hell I'm really jealous...but I'll live ...I do other things...like I'm working on my dreams in life,...one day I want you guys to have the chance to come to my resturant and sit down for a nice meal that I've made ... yeah I wanna do a vegatarian high end resturant...I've already started on a deadline and I gotta reach my goal...plus after reading some of my old poetry, I realize I've written a lot that should be in a book..so I'm gonna work on that...when I start to slack ....I need you guys to kick me in the ass though) ..stll like I was saying with all the love and plans...I to, one day will want that love and family life, and I know I should be patience...but I'm never a girl who likes to wait...

so while talks of rings and wedding colors with other people...I kind of got into the wedding bug myself and checkin out a few sites ...I had fun...do you know zales lets you make your own engagement ring...I've decided that (listen closely guys who want to marry me....lmao...thats a joke)...um really though I like vintage rings...(I wear a ring size of 6.25)...I want a ring with a thin band(not really thin..but it shouldn't be to thick..my fingers aren't that big) and lots of details in it with small diamonds that should be a part of the band (those should be about .3 to .5 carat collectively) with delicately laced designs or roses and whatnots... um I perfer 18k yellow gold--. *if you can get it in rose color gold that would be beautiful*,--and for the main stone...I want something from .5 carat to 1 carat.... plus I want the diamond to be of vs2 or s1...I don't mind an s2 stone either...(I know you're thinking I've lost it...and you're right..but I like to be in control...so I plan ahead...lol) now...I know guys are thinking a vs1 or vs2..*if you can afford vss2..don't be shy, go ahead and buy that for me*. but I figure vs would be more reasonable than the vvs stone....now I know the guys who are taking notes or thinking "omg, I'm in trouble"...but you're not, cause for color, I prefer a light color stone (something like a champagne color).. so I'd like something in the "i-j" or a "k-p"....color only because I want a romantic look to the stone...and a lot of times in vintage rings the color was consider beautiful unlike todays rings where women like them as clear as possible..so even though I want something flawless....the price evens out with the color...

princess cut is what I perfer...emerald cut second...lol (crazy huh...how I've acutally planned this..)...um I do have how I perfer to be proposed to but that can wait for another day.. but the ring should be kind of like these two..I like how those look...

as for the wedding day..I have details for that too and I realize that david bridals lets you play create a wedding...how fun is that...I want the color to be purple and silver...and yeah I do have the details planned...but once again that can wait for another day...

only problem...I think I'm missing the most important factor...yeah...a guy to marry...

well I'm having fun regardless and even though I won't be having a wedding any time soon..I can pretend...

p.s. if you guys received a registery from target...with me as the bride and groom don't be surprise...a sistah just wants some free gifts... (that would be trifling if I did that...I won't ...but I did think about it)....lol

peace and love

Jan

Lucky Ducky...it's that time of the year again....

2007-07-19T00:22:00.000-06:00

Um ...yeah so last year and every other year...I beg and plead for money for the Aids Walk Colorado...

I'm even nice to give a link to my page....I will do that again...um ...last year only "James Scott" donated to the cause...who wants to be as cool as him??? Don't you all want that..

only problem... unlike last year where you could donate any amount online.... this year the min is $25.00 online...but if you print up the form you can donate any amount (so if you only can afford to send a $3.00 money order...go ahead and get that poppin) in a check or money order to the Aids walk and you can send it into the address on the bottom of the for......*see I'm not trying to hustle y'all ...this is serious business...just be sure to put my name on it son...lol*

Now usuallly I don't do a goal because every amount counts...but my goal this year is $500.00....if y'all help me reach that I'll do something special...I'll let everyone request what they want to see me do...and the best one ..gets a go ahead for me to do it...regardless of how silly or crazy as it may seem...(now I know you're thinking I'd probably do it without a goal if y'all just asked me..and you're right...I can't turn down a dare..but lets try and pretend that I wouldn't do it anyways)

also if I get to that goal of mines..I promise next year to participate in the AIDS run...which is a 5k ...so I would have to train for that...(well I do plan on doing that next year anyways..so...so much for that extra hustle for the cause)...

and of course I will donate myself...so don't think I'm just tryin to get money...I'm willing to give and walk...

Also if you live in colorado and like to participate ...the walk is free..the run is $30.00 to enter...whether you're donating money or walking/running, perhaps doing both...I say give it a try...they always need more supporters..volunteers, participants and donaters...

check out my page and don't be afraid to hit that donation button...

but I know some of y'all is on a broke budget like moi...I still love y'all the same if you just offer the support...

peace and love and awareness...

januari

AIDS Walk - LovesJanuari's help...and her friends too... :)

double feature: she is not your real friend/ the art of dating

2007-07-17T08:48:00.000-06:00

So this weekend Saturday we decided to go and head out to the black arts festivel...

I discovered that some people have no real sense if it was to hit them on the head....and some people ain't got no real friends because they let them walk out the house in the most craziest ish...

For example this girl....what type of friend lets you cut your pants into short and encourages you to walk out the house with the extra pieces around your ankles... not a real friend....

what type of leg abuse is this?

I mean do we really let people walk outside looking this silly...ain't nothing creative about this ideal... I hope she was wearing this because she lost a bet like, her friend was seeing who could pop lock and drop it better and she lost ...that is what I hope would make someone do this to a pair of jeans...

and as her friend doesn't she feel silly walking beside her...what is going on...

teenagers...I tell you they are not a smart bunch....let me ever find some girls I know between the ages of 15 and 19 decided to try this style out..if I see them out like this I'm gonna slap some fashion sense into them...

but anyways...so....

You know with no urge to go home...I figure that I should act like I have no home training and get super sexy for the day so I could convince someone into letting me be babysat by them on sunday...

I did by the way find a babysitter for myself saturday night...lol...it was kind of hard not to find a willing babysitter since I was dressed like this...lol

yeah...I was feeling quite good after the vodka...(I was on a bar drinking spree...I'd take a shot and then move onto the next bar to do the same thing... don't worry I dont drink and drive ...)

So yeah my night was pretty nice and so was my lazy sunday morning...I didn't leave my saturday babysitter until 5pm sunday and that was only to go and meet my FPNB down at jazz in the park...but he was too tired from getting off work so I had to hang out down there by myself.

which wasn't a wise ideal...sort of..

so there I am walking by myself when a man who looks like someone grand daddy is staring me down with pervert eyes...

so he makes small talk and I figure ...hmmm...could I ever get my Anna Nicole on if I wanted to? Well not really, but I did learn I'm just too nice...so this old dude is like.."I'd love to keep the rest of your sunday busy"....so my mind is thinking...well...I am kind of hungry and I would like to see a new movie...he keeps trying to spit game like he'll spend anything on me...let's see how serious he is...this old guy must not know ...you have to pay to play.

so he is trying to act all cool, like he got money in the bank...whatever.....he says, "can I hang out with you after this..." ....ha ha ha... so I'm like, "um I plan on going to get some food after this.."

do you know he was like ...I'm glad I already ate before I came down here...SAY WHAT...um...old man...if you was really trying to get with me that bad....you feed me...strike one...lol

so then I'm like well, "um maybe another day..." but he is still hinting how he really wants to hang out...

so I'm like maybe a movie would be cool...he says, "yeah, my favorite movie theater that I go to has some good movies"..and he names off some theater I've never heard of...huh? ...so "I'm like where is that at"..... he says, "it is where on tuesday they have movies for 50 cents, I usually go on tuesday but on any other day it is a dollar"....SAY WHAT...oh hell naw...strike two...I don't do dollar movie places...unless I'm paying for myself...lol...like are you serious...you mean to tell me your old ass who probably gets the senior discount is that cheap to where you only pay for dollar movies...and you only go when they are 50 cents..meaning you probably only pay 35 cents to watch Norbit...that ain't right at all...

so there he is taking up my macking time with his broke jive while cute young guys walk pass checking me out and I'm thinking...damn...how can I ditch the old man and find a guy who when he hears an swv song on the radio doesn't think it is from a new album made this year....so I tell him I'll take your number and call you...he got all sad..you know I'm a sucker for sad people...so I felt bad for him...let him write down the verzion on paper...figured I wouldn't answer when he called.

so I see some girlfriends of mines I went to school with and I was saved...he finally went away...as since he wasn't really talking about nothing and he kept hinting how he wanted to hang out with me for the rest of the sunday and do whatever I wanted becaues I'm was a pretty young thang worth spoiling..but he was broke so whatever I suggested ...he wasn't trying to pay for...

um spending money wansn't in this guys vocab as everything he said had free behind it...and don't get me wrong I love free things but first dates should never be free, unless you look like boris kudjo or morris chestnut..then the date can be free all you want... (see I'm not that much of a gold digger...I think hot men don't have to be rich...lol...guys you do the same thing so don't front like I'm wrong...I know a lot of men who date decent looking women only because they can pay for they own stuff...but let them meet a hot broke buffie the body type of chick and they would be willing to give her marriage without the prenup....)

but anyways back to the story...I left jazz in the park to go home..decided to make myself something to eat...when ..my phone is ringing off the hook...and since I gave my number out a lot...I was just answering all types of calls...

that was a bad mistake...because the broke sugar daddy called me...I'm thinking damn...just my luck...

so he says, "I know, we couldn't decide on what to do earlier...".... um no, I knew what I wanted to do, you just didn't want to spend your money...not even on yourself, as we could have went dutch.. so he says, " the denver art museum is open tonight til midnight and I've never been...maybe we can have a drink and go to the mueseum.." I'm like sure....I've been there since they redid it and it would be nice to visit again. So he suggest that since he over heard me tell my friends how I had packed me up a weekend bag with my laptop and a bar in a bag that inculded rum and mixers that maybe instead of us going out for drinks since I already had liquor we could drink that.... Oh No...not gonna happen....if we drink, he was gonna have to buy me a drink...it don't work that way.

so he ask if I wanted to meet him somewhere...(um gas is high...so I'm like no...you can pick me up...whatever) earlier he was talking about his truck...his blazer like it was so fly...he pulls up in a blazer that was made in 1979.,,,before I was born...and the back seat looked like this

which made me think..wait ...I'm going out with fred sanford...he is old and cheap and think he is cool ....this is the big one elizabeth....I could have said, "um on second thought...it is getting late and I have work in the morning..."... but after seeing the car I just knew I had to go thru with this date so I could tell a story for my blog that people wouldn't believe later...since what is my blog without bad dating stories... so after spending 5 mins trying to figure out how to open up the door to an old school truck ...lol...I haven't rode in a old blazer in a while I forget you had to press the button in to open the door and roll the windows down manually....lol..

So he start his loud car and we are off...I'm pretty sure he is polluting the air everytime he drives this truck....So we drive towards the museum,....um it is pitch black but he keeps trying to find out if it is open....asking crackheads on the street while I keep telling him it doesn't look open.....I'm thinking ...he is kiling me ...old people who try to act all young and cool just look foolish.

finally he realized that crackheads don't know about museum and that pitch black and no cars parked out front equals a closed museum...(I know I thought he was lying to...but he really did read in the paper that the museum was open on sat and sun...he actually show me a paper...I was suprised...lol)

so he suggest that maybe we could just have a drink then...he isn't tryin go to a bar cause he doesn't want to pay for drinks I sense...so he suggest that he has some gin and paul masson in the back ...um...do I look like I was born next month...hell no...I let him know I don't do gin or paul masson...which I don't do either type of drink with any man...not just him...hell I wouldn't drink that if boris kudjo was offering it to me...

So after finding out his free plan was shot...he suggested we go to a place called b.j.'s port, a bar and resturant... I've never been and it is a place old people and crips frequent on the east side...

so we pull up and he parks the car and pulls out a club...ha ha..yeah y'all know that thing people put on their steering wheels in the 90s...I didn't know they still made those...I think he can take that on antique roadshow and see how vintage that thing is, they'd probably pay him for it....and what is funny...who would want to steal his junk..??? on top of that he had a car alarm...one from the 90s....everything was vintage...*he made a comment to tell me how I forgot to lock his door once...I didn't tell him but I wanted to say it was because I was use to automatic doors...*

so we walk into this place and it has a smell of pig feet...um...he tells me to order whatever ever to drink...from the look of the place I doubt I could get some grey goose or even some absolute...so I just ask for light beer..they have miller and I can deal with that...

so we sit and I drink beer and he drinks sprite...okay...whatever.. so I can't deal with the pig feet smell anymore so I suggest we go to herbs...

herbs has hip hop on sundays and I figure if he wanted to be young ...then he could deal with hip hop for a while like I did pig feet.

So we walk in and we talk and listen to music for a while and I drink an amstel light and he had water...while the music was blarin he complained about the loudness...I had to keep explaining how being young we don't mind loud music unlike him...

but after listen to him talk about how the music was so loud and how I got tierd of him say fresh little comments about how he's like to taste me...ewe...fat chancce...you have to a certain age and intellegence to actually play with me...

so I let him know that it was getting late and we let for him to take me home....

do you know as soon as I got out the car that bastard pulled off...didn't even wait til I got into the house....

but I guess him being cheap and un gentlemen- ish might be the reason why when I asked him about childern...he tells me he had no children...but to be as old as he is....talking about he never really had that chance but he wanted kids....I think he never had a chance because he is who he is...thinkin he can woo any young women in the world, he should stick to his age range... dirty old man....lol...

but you guys know I had to take him up on that date offer...since I now treat dating as a sport ...what would I've blogged about if it wasn't for guys like him......

mabye this week I can call the numbers I've aquried over the weekend and tell y'all about each of my many crazy dates..

welll...

until that day...

much love..and peace

Januari

Sharing is for babies - give me my song back...!!

2007-07-05T12:24:00.000-06:00

"promise not to hurt you, not to leave
not to lie, not to cheat, not to fuss
not to stress, like the rest in your past "

So there we sat and I say to him, I love this song..it is one of my favorites..this is my song.

so he says, lets make it our song...

*um, say what!, no you can't share my song with me* - I mean it is a good song and I do appericate that the iorny of the song and how it mirrors the relationship between us, as he keeps telling me he isn't like the others, but men who say that line are a dime a dozen and they all claim to be different from the rest. How can I really believe that what he says has meaning. It is funny cause that is how every new experience with someone new is like...you have to have some faith and believe that this new love interest will be the different one, and that you should not put them against the wall from the people wrong doings in the past.

I want to have faith and believe in us, and I'd love for my song to be our song and for him to be the guy that represent those words. I want him to be there even when the world is coming to an end or feels like it but still he tends to act like the others in the past...sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing...

I think he is more hurt than I though... like when he learns how to believe I'm not like the others in his past than maybe we can believe in us together, if we can't do that ...we fail before we begin.

You're a Block Head Charlie Brown

2007-06-30T01:53:00.000-06:00

Well you know it is a serious monopoly game when you gotta put on your poker face.... only in my family does this happen....

yes sir...they spent 30 min on the "negro" rules ...(you know money goes to free parking...no buying property on the first time around...if you don't ask for 200 you won't get it)...those rules of the game that by the time they really got into the game it was time to eat...I love those people ...they all keep me laughin...

especially when they pulled out their glasses and put on poker faces to play monopoly.

So....um...it has been a while since I've really talked about everything under the moon that means nothing..

so here it goes...

I've realize that I'm no longer the drinker I use to be..I could drink and drink and drink...but with age and weight lost...I've become a light weight...well not completely but some days I can keep it going and other days...but now days..let me miss breakfast and have a small lunch plus only 3 hours of sleep from the previous night and I tend to get drunk off air...that is what happen thrusday night...but no pictures of me were taking...(yeah...I got off free). See I was drunk by 10:15 ...sad huh..not only that but I left and slept in the car before the club even really got started...my sister tried to talk me into staying by saying calm down before they kick you out..cause I was swaying..but I knew better than to try to stick around...so I kicked myself out and caught up on some much needed rest in the car...but from what I hear everyone else had a good time...

lets see ..what else is new...

oh the high school called me...they offered me another mentee...I was surprise they let me mentor the first girl and now they are gonna trust me with another one plus her, yup so I'll have two preciouses to mentor...I'm afraid for these kids ...I wouldn't put myself in the guidance and care of me...j/k...I trust me...

I'll keep it short so last but not least...

so today I get a call at 11:46 pm...restricted number... (okay I don't answer those but this guy I talk to usually calls me from those numbers and I've been worried about not hearing from him...) so I perked up and answer...do you know some guy whom I've probably only talk once every 3 weeks was on the other end talking about, "whats up, what you doing..." ...SAY WHAT!!!! I wanted to ask him who was I speaking to but I wanted him to humor me and ask me that famous question of "do you know who this is?"...if you gotta ask me that question then you already know good in well I don't know whom I'm tallking to...but he didn't ask me that, he just keeps talking...okay...um ..whatever...until this block head is gonna say, "you going out tonight"...I told him no and that I was in for the night...so this bum ..who I have no ideal who I'm talking to says..."alright, I'll be over in a second"...SAY WHAT!!!.... so I laugh like, come again..what you say?....he repeats it....so I'm like "Oh No you're not"...*I still don't know who I'm talking to and I don't care to know and how does he know where I live?*...he don't that is the problem...you can't invite yourself over somewhere you've never been......so I thought about it...who could it be calling me at 11:46 with some crazy ish...I still have no ideal...but when I told him no...goof ball had the nerve to ask me "why not" and when I told him because it was late..he says "it ain't late, it ain't even 12 yet"....OMG...he was killing, me really killing me....so I tell him "um it is late to me" ...so he is like, "when can I see you" ..um tomorrow mystery man in the day time fool, you don't have night and weekend luxury, so he tells me he has to work tomorrow...so the crickets cripped until the light bulb in his head went off and he suggested getting together when he gets off work....so I told him sure...I have no clue who he was but whatever, I know he ain't calling in the day time..that is why I said yeah...why would he call me durning the day, he has yet to do so... silly rabbit..

but what is even strange is my week has been that way...funny cuz I just spent tuesday arguing with a guy about it being 10 pm and that was too late for him to come and visit me on a day where I gotta get up for work (he told me to grow up because I told him no) and he was mad that I wouldn't let him come and play monopoly at 10pm on a tuesday eveing, saying it wasn't like he is trying to get "fresh".. *he didn't say fresh but I'm trying to keep in pg mode today" - but yeah ...he wanted me to believe he wanted to come over late at night to play a game of monopoly *I think mabye monopoly is code word for knockin boots or sumthin"....WTF is going on these days... block heads...I tell you they exists everywhere..

speaking of that guy...he keeps telling me to not put him in the category of guys who are just out to meet my "friend from down under"...but he does things that make me think other wise...fri was his birthday, I asked him if he wanted to get together on his birthday...he rather not spend it with me but in other situations, even though I did ask him a week in advance when he had no plans he passed me by.. ...so here it is 1:15 am and he is on his way home..do you know he had the nerve to call me asking me if I still wanted to "kick it"...(I don't do that kickin it bizness) ...so when I'm like..um... how about tomorrow..he gonna say "yeah you right..I am tired, it's been a long day"...I'm thinking did he call me for a birthday booty call??? ...here I am thinkin I've been asking for some of his time for over 2 weeks now, he has put everything before me and now he wants to do what?...what ...we ain't never had sex ..kissed ..better yet even went out on what I could consider a real date..I couldn't even get a lunch date out of him and we work across the street from each other and he is trying to get a birthday booty call??? pure block headism going on there... he don't know it but he's at strike 2 and 1/2 he is so close to being OUT.....crazy man...

okay so I lied earlier but that was it...I didn't keep it short but now I'm done.

it is early in the morning so I should get in the bed, I got thangs to get into later on...

peace loves

Pretty girl (my grandma calls me that)

no random...this blog was enough on its own...

When he's here I be quite, but when he leave I be talking again.

2007-06-04T13:41:00.000-06:00

So sunday I was bored...you know what that means...I spent the day being the nosy broad I tend to be...and I got a lot accomplish....

Well I decided to hang out on the colorado department of corrections (CDOC) website doing searches on inmates and parolees, I was looking up names of guys I've met lately....

of course I love that site...and yeah I tend to spend a lot of time hanging out on there often, I look up old classmates, co-workers, family members...pretty much anyone who looks like he/she might have been booty rob in a 10x10 brick room with bars for a door.

but this is always fun to do when you combine myspace with the department of corrections, you can look up rappers, strippers and politicians or pretty much anybody in the corporate world since you know the corporate world produces the serial killers of america. (fyi when looking up corporate people, go for short white women, they commit the most crimes, especially when they have big hair and tend to be anal....that is a sign of a true serial killer)

So yeah I suggests everyone to go and type into google, your state's department of corrections and get to searching...

only thing though, new york's kind of sucks cause you can't see pictures, (I think georgia might be the same as new york)...as in colorado, you get pictures of the inmates,....this is helpful, especially nights after the club and you wake up next to "chris black" who tells you he works for the IRS and graduated from DU and played on the hockey team, but who also happens to have "o.g. chadwin monroe king locc of the triple tres cherry creek gangsta crips" on his man boob, circling his right nipple like a flower. with "fo' life" as the steam of the flower and you find out his name isn't chris black at all but it is really chadwin monroe and he isn't the black man you thought he was but actually a white man who uses dental floss as his weapon of choice for murder... (black women don't you just hate when you meet a black man who turns out to really be a white thug just lying to you?) Gosh that happens so many times these days every time I look in the paper some white guy is the cause of many a gang violence stories.

But anyways I got off of my story...so I was looking and of course I found a few pictures of some guys who would never tell me, but just look like they stabbed someone....

*if you're wondering how I do this with guys who give me their number in the club...* easy the CDOC website allows you to search by first names, birthdays, height....it is a can't lose situation....lol...unless the person you are looking for isn't in the system and that is a good thing...you want that to be the case (unless he hasn't been caught yet...then it isn't a good thing at all). But as for the ones who are there...lol...you can find out what they are on parole for and when they got on parole...you can save yourself a lot of time. Plus the next time your cousin tells you he got arrested for selling drugs and ended up with 5 years in the "pen" and classes every tuesday you'll know better to believe him, you can look on the site and see he got 10 years for jay walking as a black man in a high class neighborhood...damn shady ass "kkkops"...

so um yeah I did look up some people..plus I like to type in random known names like jed bush (thats a popular name...) you know look up all the guys in jail with the last name bush....sounds reasonable right?

One thing I will admit I forgot to look up one guy...which reminds me I should probably look him up tonight....

so....True story....

so I'm at the club (heartthrob to be exact) when at the end of the night this guy walks up to me and says "I just wanted to tell you, you the sexiest muthafucka up in this bitch" (yeah he was so damn romantic at approaching me....as he whispered it in my ear in such this hard core voice of nigga I will stab you if I can't get your milk and a carton of cigarettes, plus I need you to spot me as I lift weights in the yard type of tone that I couldn't help but to get wet panties)... so he continues..."yeah, I've been watching you all night and I just couldn't help but to come let you know these bitches ain't got shit on you"....but he is looking mad hard core like he can just snap any moment and fight a nappy headed hoe at the drop of a pin...so I'm thinking like, damn...just be nice, smile a little but not too much and say thank you and pretend to be busy looking for someone....

Do you think that help...hell naw...that duck was like, "now that I gave you a compliment, you need to give me one."... I looked confused and thought about all the witty things I could say...and honestly I wanted to tell him I didn't plan on giving a forced compliment as *good angel* was telling me to tell the truth....*bad angel* was like fuck that, "we don't want no problems, problems...." - and y'all know I listen to bad angel over the two girls...so I pause thinking about what should I say...shoes are busted - can't use that...he is short, can't use height ....can't smell him, so no compliments on what he is wearing...clothes are wack, can't used that...maybe I could go with how tough he is....or I can compliment him on his gold teeth... but before I could force a fake "I like" about something involving him ...I got caught up on looking at the fine ass puerto rican 6'7 cutie who I was flirting with earlier (I should have got his number *the tall cutie* but good angel talked us out of that one...something about us not needing to be a bad girl...oh and we wanted to be bad,.....let me explain about earlier my encounter with the 6'7 cutie before I continue on....see I was staring at him and just then he looked at me...I kind of looked away with a smirk like damn, he caught me....so he walked over and he says, "what was that?"...and I'm like, "what"....so he says, "that look, was it a good or bad thing..?"... I'm like,..."oh it was a real good thing"...so he ask me what was my name and I asked him his...but so he could hear me over the loud music he leaned in and I stood on my tippy toes and put my arm around his neck so he could hear me as we talked, but in the process I stepped on his shoe,.. so I'm like "I'm sorry I didn't want to step on your shoe," (while wrapping my arms around his waist of course...I get a little fresh at times...)... and so he says, "well you just did...", of course me being me,.... I bat my lashes and say "I guess I have to make it up to you huh?",... boo looked at me and said, "I know a million and one ways that you can"... right then I became like the girl in the front row of five heartbeats y'all when eddie kane sang "is there a heart, is there a heart in the house tonight..."... I just lost breath and almost fainted..but good angel busted that party up fast and we came back to reality and let him go on his way before we got into trouble and was giving him not one phone number but both cell phone numbers enabling him to reach us at either of my verizon or cingular services at ungodly hours of the night...*wait I was talking about the duck asking for a compliment....let me get back to my story...I'm over here getting all hot talking about sexy, I think I need a smoke after that train of thought just to bring me back down....* but yeah so back to the story about the duck).... he was waiting for a compliment and I was off in 6'7 sexyland trying to talk good angel into what me and the bad one wanted to get into, when sexy gets up to walks out the club but we are stuck talking to the duck...damn... I'm thinking this duck is causing me to lose sexy...it was all good angels fault cause she had us polite and whatnot listening to the duck punk us out of a compliment...(yeah I lost sexy completely never did get his number...if I run into him again around the way...I'm putting bad angel in charge of the situation)...so then the duck says, well you could ask me for my number...

Say What!!! punking me out of a compliment is one thing but treating the compliment as me getting your number from you when I never asked and don't want to, should be a crime in 48 states *I'm pretty sure it is... (new york and dirty jereez excluded as they just seem like they would do that type of ish there)*.. nor do I want your number since I'm not gonna use it. So I look at him and hesitate, when he's like well, "take my number down!!"...

so I'm like, "okay," pull out the phone...he is watching me...he then tells me...."call me right now, so I can get your number" .... I'm over there thinking damn negro be more impatient and aggressive...while hitting send...wishing I was pressing send for the number to sexyland, who I let get away and not for this duck to have my number so he can stalk me later on...

So he has my number in his phone and he is saving it and I'm just crumbling inside like "damn, damn, damn james!!!!"....I was defeated...he had won at punkin me....

he even went so far to punk me out of a hug, (it was a jail house hug at that)...then he told me I better call him...yeah he demanded I call him, talking about....." so you better call me tomorrow",...I was all sad pouting like, "okay, I will but why can't you call me instead, I don't want you to be mad if I be forgetting things"... he gonna tell me "I was planning on calling you, but that is if I beat you to the punch you know...but I want to make sure you call me first"

I was thinking damn...I just got punked into a relationship I don't want nor never asked for..."this is some bullshit 'alado"....I was upset about it especially when he said. "yeah I will be hearing from you tomorrow when you call, we can go hit up some bar-b-ques and stuff, spend the day together."

I'm thinking okay, sure...whatever... thanks for inviting me, I'll be sure to cancel my plans for tomorrow and play your honorary girlfriend .... that duck was such a damn clown....

you can punk me in the club but you can punk me over no phone, I just won't answer...

anyways...I prayed that night and saturday morning he would be too drunk and forget about me... and good thing, he never called and no he isn't currently the newest member of my mantourage...but it was scarry....it could have happened... I never deleted his number just in case he calls I won't answer thinking who is calling me from some random number I'm unfamiliar with unless he gets snazzy and calls me from someone else's line...but if that time ever comes I'll just have to cope...

until then I need to check for him and a few others on the CDOC website and make sure I can identify them in dark lit places and in lightly lit rooms... so if I see them I can hide under tables and sneak away quickly.

until then for the rest of the people who like to club but don't prefer ducks...

happy hiding from booger bears, don't let them catch you slipping.

peace and cheers to not having self control (well you want self control but sometimes you should know when to lose it, like when being offer tickets to sexyland....lol)

Januari

random fact # 969696 ...I use to try and excerise for 3 hours straight 5 times a week...how crazy is that...yeah ...I think I gonna start that routine back up starting today.

temper tantrum tuesday: stalkers and shaking baby syndrome

2007-05-23T00:27:00.000-06:00

So here we are on a tuesday, and things have been so so...not to crazy today. Had a friend call me at work...I think it is nice to get calls at work but when you call me high sitting there talking about nada,...um I tend to cut calls short...especially when your asking when is lunch but you're not suggesting coming to buy lunch or even eat with me and keep me company...especially when I hate when other people are near you and you're having two convos at once...I mean..ya don't call when I off of work or return my calls after five but you sure do love to sit on my phone at work...um...not cool,,,, *speaking of that ..same said person tends to show up at my house without calling...um...really not cool...we not close for you to show up without calling...crazies*

I just wanna give that person shaking baby sydrome and grab their arms near the biceps and asks what is wrong with you..I'm gonna shake you until you stop calling me acting like a big ol' baby...(well then I realize that they say, not only is it wrong to shake babies you can't shake adults either.... damn)

So other news at work...I did plan on doing a blog last wed. but I was so mad...see what had happen was, I get back from lunch with my cheesy bean burrito *I dream of the day I can get a del taco put downtown so I can avoid taco bell ..yuck* ...so I come back with my burrito when I see the bird is moving hella slow..so I help her as to put some fire under her cause she acting like she has all day to sort out a small stack of checks... so I had some on my desk along with my burrito and soda...after getting my group sorted I'm taking it back to her desk, when she walks over to mines to grab some checks....

now I'm thinking oh no...eeeewwwee...how dare her bend over my soda...I had the top to my soda off so I'm thinking like I don't want her bending over it with her arms..I don't want her arm touching the rim getting her dead epidermis cells brushing off on where I place my lips...so I tell her, "I got it cause my soda is open and I don't want it to spill"...but as soon as I could say that, her arm hits the side of my diet pepsi and it spills all over my keyboard. Now you think with her bird like quailties she would have seen my soda out the side of her eyes...but even then when she knock it down, she took about 30 seconds to grab my full now half way empty bottle before the rest spilled out all over the rest of my desk..(and all she said was I'm sorry...I was mad...what!!! you're sorry..um you need to go purchased me a can of soda worth the amout you spilled on my keyboard jack....).I was thinking what happen to her bird-like skills of being fast on her feet, she should have been able to catch that in 5 seconds...and letting my burrito which was already crappy go cold...it didn't taste so hot when it was warm so you know how it tasted when cold...not cool...so I end up spending an hour shaking diet pepsi out of my keyboard and hoping it would work still...it did work but for two days I suffer with the shift button on the left sticking..I kept having to take a paper clip to pop it back up...

even thinking about it now...I just wanted to shake her so hard she'd get shaking baby syndrome...I wanted to shake her until I could shake the perm out of her hair and give her straight hair that would improve her overall look...(but um,...you can't shake babies and the word on the street is you can't shake adults either...damn)

also last week Jorgie (rebirth of slick - check the blog roll if ya don't know him) ...yeah apparently he was here in Denver for a few days and I missed him since I didn't check myspace until thrusday...dratz.... which sucks since it would have been cool to meet him... he could have called me up on the cellular, talking about wassup I'm in your area ...and is it cool tonight for you to like get away....meet me down at the parking lot at Safeway ...ooohhhh ...I'm in your city.... (sorry got a little carried away..what y'all know about that b-legit, city to city...I gotta go download that...that is the ish)

anyway...lets keep this blog moving along...

Funny story,...so I'm watching the news and they say there was a panty thief in fort collins stealing women's bras and pretty thangs out of the laundry rooms...okay...so they catch the man...but why on the news did they say, "women if you think you might have had your bras and underwear stolen you can come down to the police station to describe and claim them".....lmao...SAY WHAT!!!!...um if someone steals my pan-tay drawls and now the police have them...I think I'd just chop that one up to the game, I'm not trying to get used underwear back,...even if they were used by me first....I don't know if that man was wearing them or what he was doing with them plus I think I would have brought some new ones by then...lol ...but I was thinking I don't live in fort collins, but I so want to go describe a pair.... "um I lost a pair of rainbow bright panties with rainbow bright break dancing on the butt"... I don't have rainbow bright underwear but I'm sure some college chick in fort collins does... still really though would you be willing to describe your undies...sometimes you just have to let go of a good thing...I don't care how many good late night after the club 5 in da morning pretty ricky memories you have with those undies...yeah you can say they belong with you and y'all are soulmates and belong together but in the end truth be told...."if they were your undies they wasn't last night"....

stalker news:

um yeah...my stalker came back...they called me while I was at work offering me free comedy works tickets...these bastards called me from a different number than the usual one so I had answered ....can't believe they switched up numbers on me. How dare them suckas trying stick me for my paper...

speaking of stalkers...when we went on vacation you know we had a new boo every night...well we usually had back up boos so if the first choice wasn't tying to buy breakfast we could call another number....anyways a few weeks ago a "back up breakfast boo" called my number out of the blue..(cause my phone number was the number we gave everyone if they wanted to contact any of us...) um this jack leaves a message for my sis....so were are like okay..laughed at it and deleted the voice mail...cuz what happens on vacation....you know ....so he starts to send those annoying chain text messages..(which pissed me off...we not friends for him to use my text messages)...but I guess since I didn't respond he figure he try another route...

yeah...so I go to check my email when ...um...I see a message label for my sister with her name...I open it and this clowns leaves this note:

we met when you were down in tampa and i just wanted to keep in touch with you. you can also find me on myspace under THE REVOLUTIONARY BROTHER i hope to hear from you aoon. also here is a pic of me

yeah...he left a pic of himself...okay??? wow...I don't know how he got my email...I guessing by finding it thru my cellphone..still that is called stalking..I'm pretty sure in 46 states...utah, kansas, wyoming, and alabama excluded...(they just seem like they'd be good states to stalk in...I'm not certified to say that ...but I'm gonna say it anyways...)... well yeah I don't think I'm too happy with him trying to get in touch with my sister thru me...let it go ...you know he probably tried to look her up on myspace via my email address but sucka...my email address for finding me on myspace is from high school and the one linked to my phone isn't ...serves that jive time turkey right..lol.

well is getting late...gotta go..

peace and wild flowers...(I'm excited I just planted some wild flowers to grow in the backyard..but I'm so impatient that I want those bad boys to start sprouting-a-gans and what not...and I just laid them down on sunday....lol...silly me...)

random fact #34- my favorite position on a basketball team is power forward...I just love those 4th spot guys...I think forwards are sexy..I dig their bodies...lol...as for football...tight ends...no reason why but I just like saying tight ends...and speaking of tight ends..don't they usually have the thightest ends...lol...(I had to use the play on words...and sorry men for those lustful comments involving some of your favorite sports.....I'm a lady...I can't help my girly side...lol)

Becoming Strong

2007-05-15T11:07:00.001-06:00

one of my favorite poems speaks on how a woman can be a rock when all she wants to be is soft....

I've always wonder that, as black women we always have to be strong its not an option in a world where you are on the bottom of the pole, the double nigger (as yoko ono would state) - the double kick from fighting sexism and racsim....

My mom is strong, my sister is strong and so are many other black women I know...some even say I am...those who know those deep secrets I never shared but maybe just two...

still I always think how can a woman who is made of rock become soft, cause that is all I ever wanted to be...

soft enough to have a man treat me delicate, soft enough to melt into his arms like hot lava....
I want to be soft and not feel guilty for being soft, I want to be able to admit it when I need help or just an ear...
but right now I feel like a mountian that is unmovable, ...you can go around but not thru me,...
still even mountains tend to erode away some day, maybe I can find the right person to help me take down my wall.

tuesday should not be that serious.

2007-04-19T21:13:00.000-06:00

*warning this blog is long as all day* sorry I got a little carried away with it....

Y'all know I had my moody day Sunday, I think it was cuz I didn't get to talk to my boo..well Monday comes and he calls like you had a bad day...do you wanna talk about it...and I'm like wow you're good...turns out he read my blog (sunday was his first time since we didn't get a chance to talk I guess he was missing me and what is close to the real me other than next to reading my writings)... so yeah he now reads my blogs...(he doesn't see that goofy side of me too often...so now he does on my blog) Well anyways I like that...he's like now that I read them don't change them...but I told him don't worry ...it ain't changing..plus everything I write I've pretty much already told him...

So tuesday I went to DC10...was invited out by EC...usually I suggest places he should go with his friends and he the same telling me places I should go out to with my girls and maybe he'll see me out ...but we never really check out each other suggestion...so I figure since it was free and I hadn't been out on a tuesday night in a long time to go ahead and check it out...

Anyways EC calls in wed. saying he has pink eye so he won't be in to work...I say...I'll believe it when I see it and if he has pink eye then I have it since we sit in the same office and when I seen him out that night he had gave me a hug...

so yeah I have pink eye...boy am I mad...he hasn't been to work but you know I have to show up....I got things to do...and beside I want to infect the office so that this weekend they all can feel my pain of looking dorky with a pink eye... I'm tempted to rub the other eye so at least with both that color it will just look like I've been getting high...lol

So unto the club....I go out just for the laughs...I'm so sure of it now...

Like DC10- first off I never really hang around this type of crowd...so in we walk, it is crowded...lucky we find a table to hang out at,....

The DJ play "make it rain"...uuuggghhh....so of course the girls who've been drinking a lot start to dance to it...

then this guy with this dingy white oversize long sleeve 90 style shirt and baggy 90's style jeans walks in with a semi cute chick and a stack of ones in his hands....

Oh no...please don't make it rain...but you know what...of course he does...starts fanning out GW's into the crowd like his name was Pacman Jones...what!!!!... so I'm like hell naw...there are girls screaming (I don't know who screams for dollars but whatever..)

Not only that beside one dollar bills..but every now and then GW brought Tom along and some lucky folks got a five...but yeah thru the whole song he keeps fanning out money and chicks are screaming and even guys are bending down to grab the money and kiss it that he didn't even miss...like he was Kid Sensation on broadway or sumthin...

So he goes up to the stage to throw it out and fake ass secert service security escort him up there and stand on both ends... Now I'm thinkin to myself that you gotta be kidding me, it is tuesday and too early in the week for this type of foolishness.... I think there were about 8 people standing by the stage collecting dollars like they were in those charity glass booths where you try to grab money that shoots in the air. I thought for all that he could have counted out 10 each for those 8 and saved them the dignity and let them have a free drink on him the normal way * you know they probably spent they money on drinks...or condoms later on*...(can you really have respect while picking GW's off the ground...I'm mean if it was Benji...I would have took the rain like I had an upside down umbrella ...but for a dollar...I'll be late for that...)...plus baby boy should have saved his rain for a new pair of clothes that were made from 07...I tell you some people have it backwards...

so anyways later on that night I go to the bar...gotta get a heinken light...when this guy looks me up in down...so I bat my lashes, smiled a little and look the other way....he wasn't cute and I didn't want him to look into my eyes and get that shoe shopping feeling...but then he shakes his head and turns....(so I turn and ask him What!!... right then he looks into my eyes...*damn* )...but he trys to play it cool...so he say..."Hey Ma, you kind of cute..."

so that is where I stop him, "excuse me...what did you say, kind of cute..."...so I tell him "oh no, you gotta come better than that, lets try this again, um use words like pretty, sexy...but kind of cute, damn I can't even get a you are cute...see that don't cut it"...

do you know he told me, "well ...you kind of cute, because you thick, dark skin (he was darker than me...whatever...), and you don't wear make-up (I had on make up- it wasn't caked on my face)...."...so then he says, "with that right now, you kind of cute, but if I got to know you, you could become sexy or beautiful"....

um yeah Januari grab her drinks and ran...only problem is the ugly bastard had already looked into my eyes so somehow he spotted at the table and tries to grab my hand to dance (and he came with out a drink..boo you not that sexy to be calling me medicore and showing up drink less and still trying to spit game...stop it please)...so I give him my upturned I'm bougie no stank you look..but he doesn't leave... what!!!

problem number one, if he ever reads this and wonders why his un-compliment didn't work..well for one...

1. he had on a leather coat inside a hot ass club...and some dirty lugz ...gross

2. he didn't buy me a drank

3. he wasn't cute at all, not even close

4. he called me Kind of Cute...

that pissed me off...you call babies and puppies cute...Januari gonna need at least a "you're very pretty" to make her even want you to touch her...well unless he was a sexy guy...then he could tell me I'm kind of cute after he's had 2 drinks and I'll stil dig him...but for a busted guy...um half ass compliments do not work on me...if you're aleady at an disavantage you probaby wanna work on getting to know my good side...

why would I want to talk to a guy who kind of likes me (who I'm not feeling at all..but was willing to give a chance of out pity)...when there are guys who really dig me...so I'm sorry I know he probably called me lots of mean names later on but don't blame me for my unpleasantness when it comes to a man calling me medicore...blame it on the guys who give me compliments and call me sexy, who I just happen to think are sexy themselves...not from a ugly man who thinks I kind of cute...

now if he would have said I was pretty than I might have given him the real number and kind of pretended like I'd answer when he calls...instead he couldn't even get a number at all...he was such a dirty looking version of Rick Ross...darn sucka....

....other news...

so the ex stripper calls me on monday..still making hints about knocking boots...not gonna happen dear, your attempt is futile...the outcome is bleak...lol...especially since he is too grown to be that young acting...

baby boy actually was telling me about how he is trying to buy rims for his car...omg... how old are we...the girllz and big wheels might impress little girls but I get turned on by guys with dental insurace and nice alloids upgrades that come with their new car....men that don't try to take out loans to purchase 24's but guys who take out loans to start their own small business...this man is crazy ..I was listening to him tell me about shopping for rims..he kepts mentioning it and I think he wants me to say somethinig about it...but I'm not going to encourage that type of behavior...it is already bad enough he wears oversize shirts...crazy man...me must not realize I'm not impress by cars and such like little girls...I tell you some people are just weird...

well this blog is long enough...sorry for keeping you so long...

peace and happiness

random fact #00000341 - I love the smell of coffee beans, but I hate the smell of coffee when it is brewing...

needs hugs

2007-04-15T14:36:00.000-06:00

I'm having a not so hot day with my feelings today...with men and love and things like that...

long distance doesn't work I've decided..so we take a few steps back...

my stripper boo was so childish to be a grown ass 30 year old, I had to let him go when he showed up at my house high and paranoid......wtf??

Then he calls me the next day asking if I went to lunch because maybe we could go back to my house for "lunch"...(plus he already had lunch so he wasn't hungry)...um I think I explained to him several times that we weren't getting that type of personal anytime soon so he should quit implying those type of ideals....but I guess since I wasn't putting out he really didn't care to much for calling me...(not hurt, more or less he was doing me a favor)

there are a few guys who have me questionin my sanity because I can never figure out the male population and it always seems that when I'm just dating someone and I want something more then they don't want that...so when I quit talking to them all of a sudden they find the loves of their lives....what...am I the only one this happens to? I think I'm like the anti-single-antidote.... ladies if you want a man to marry you...have him date me, and then when I ask him for commitment, then he'll realize he doesn't want commitment, well not with me but he will with you soon after... (I wonder if I can make a career out of this and start charging people for this service)....

yeah I'm in a funky mood today... love sucks and it plays the cruelest jokes on me...

Okay nuff said... I was chillin on the ED board and they were talking about crazy people...

I have one at work called Bird lady... every night when leaving she says to me...

"have a good night, we will see you tomorrow..."

question: Who in the hell is WE? ....WE the people at my company didn't hire two people ...WE only hired one so it beats me why two of them in one body are showing up...

I am going to need for WE to not see me later, but I am going to need for her to see me tomorrow and her alone...

but that got me thinking if someone has more than one personality...can you claim those other personality as dependants on your taxes...can you file for head of household because of that...if so....

then ....

WE are thru blogging for today...WE are having a bad day and WE will need hugs from all of you who read this....

but if not....

then...

I'm gonna continue to be sad and watch basketball and thinking about buying some cookie dough ice cream so that I may feel a little better later on ...

peace and love

Jan

random fact # 606 - favorite Raheem Devaugh song Believe..(one day I want to meet someone who makes me believe in him)...favorite Sade song Love is King and Tattoo, and Love is Stronger than Pride...it is hard to choose but those are the ones I listen to a lot... a lot

It takes a village...

2007-04-07T19:02:00.000-06:00

Usually I do silly blogs, blogs about work but everynow and then I do talk about things that matter.

so today is one of those days,

My niece is turning five soon, and that means she will venture out into the world of school and spending hours with other peoples bad ass kids...(don't be laughing...I'm talking about y'all kids.. you know your children are the reason they replace the sand on playground with melted tires..., your kids is the reason they have an answering machine calling the house at 5 pm saying "one of you're kids miss one or more classes today" when one of them doesn't show up to class cause they wanted to leave for lunch early to avoid a line at taco bell so they said screw fourth period...your kid is the bad ass kid with the ashy ankles cause it is cold and they have rubber bands tied around their jeans knowing their legs are not only freezing but they are walking funny cause their shoes are too big and they keep tripping over their shoes strings they haven't tied them cause they are silly asses who thinks it looks cool and now their feet have went to sleep from loss of blood circulation cause of those damn rubber bands and ashy ankles...lol... okay this was suppose to be a serious blog but I got sidetrack-ed on bad asses...I could go on for days..and this just goes to show you that I'm officially old since I can spend hours complaining about what the youth of today do....even though people over 45 and who go to church *but only people over 45 and who go to church...those who don't go to church, go to the club and they think they are part of the youth*.... but yeah those church - 45 up consider me to be a part of "the youth"... but we know better than that...)

so back to my point though..

maybe your kids are not the bad ass kids but I'm sure you don't want your kids around those type either...cuz see if you're a parent or someone who is soon to be a parent...we are all at that age where we are now grown...if you have started to think about that future family your either working on or letting your family continue to grow then you like I worry about things like the education system, health care, retirement and what not...or at least your soon to be old ass should be thinking about these things...lol.. just kidding you're only as old as you feel...

well enough, with that being said...back to my point, my niece will be of that school age and we as her family want her to have the best education... and beside when I have kids I want them to have a place to go to learn...

My sister found a charter school that hopefully after we "yeah I said WE... this is a family thing..." go to visit the school and see about what they offer and what the children learn,..... we will most likely start my niece on her bright future. But see the school is an all black school (well they accept any race...) ..still it is nice to see a school that will encourage my niece to grow in her natural black self-love with culture and knowledge that so many kids are deprived of these day...hopefully that is what they are about...(that is what they better be about)...still even with the school we as her family must continue to teach her the most important tools to life...

so with that being said, the school like any or most school is not rich in money...and so I do plan on starting to contribute my time to helping them with fundraiser and whatnot....because learning is a beautiful thing and you can't complain about your children having a crappy education if you are not helping with that part of their life. But I wanted to let other know about the school so if anyone gets in that loving feeling of doing something for the community ...start with a school...even if it isn't this one, find one in your neighborhood to help with...go and pick up the trash that may be left on school grounds or something...help with a bake sale or something...cause the babies depend on you....

So let me introduce the school...it is called CCI...which means Challenges Choices and Images Literacy and Technonolgy Learning Center... see why they just call it CCI... :) ...well they have grades K-12...which is nice because I like it when a child can grow up in one school they establish relationship with people and we all need that in life it shows us how to have meaningful relationship in adulthood. They also wear uniforms...another good quality since any job they work at will require a dress code of some sort, why not teach them structure in the beginning.

Now if your one of those people forever making excuses...your in luck...if you don't have time to actually go help out at a school you can now adopt a classrom... at www.adoptaclassroom.com ...maybe you can adopt the classroom of your neighbor's 10 year old daughter or you little newphew's classroom for you people who lack children....or if you have a child, go ahead and adopt their classes...

to adopt a class the min is $25.00 and it helps the teacher pay for supplies and whatnot...beside offering your cash you also are giving the teacher moral support...and we all know some of y'all need moral support for raising your own children so what makes you think the teacher doesn't need it...

well I could talk forever but I want you all to leave and go help out some children, cuz...we know american isn't doing a hot job for the education of the children, so that job is left up to us....

but like they say if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself...

so lets do it!

peace & cheers to making paths that the babies may travel.

random #898000 - my favorite maxwell song,...it is a tie... Lonely's The Only Company (I &II) and Drowndeep: Hula - I know y'all don't care about my favorite song but I figure if I start using my randoms to tell y'all about favorite songs, maybe someone will create a mixed playlist of my favorites so I won't have to do it myslef...lol

Can you say that again???

2007-04-06T02:09:00.000-06:00

Notable quotables at the office..

The burritos are in the brakeroom - one of the receptionist sent that in an email -

okay ....where in the hell is the "brake" room at...and why didn't nobody tell me that ish earlier?... I think my car could use a little tune-up...."two" think we had a "brake" room and those "shellfish" bastard "wear" hiding it from me this "hole" time, come on now "peepoe"....that ain't "write" at all...uuuggghhh...they upset me so I decided I'd go "too" the break room and stay "their" if anybody needed me.... damn fools...lol

I was playing with my cat last night... - the bird lady sparking up a convo with moi

... (ewe...tmi,...keep that to ya'self...) - well it wasn't that bad... she was just talking about her pussy...

*what such dirty minds you have...* -

lol...sorry that was so childish, she was telling me about her little pet kitten that she recently just brought and how she was letting it play with the mouse on her computer...

I just don't think people should start off convo with sentences like "I was playing with my cat last night..." ...I wanted to tell her, you too? I thought I was the only one who played with my cat at night...lol...(tmi...sorry, sorry...let's get this blog back to pg status...I don't do that type of stuff, I can wear white if I ever get married)....

Other funny things I thought about at work...

I'm a work refridgerator gang banger...lol... let me explain...

I have unofficially claimed the bottom row of the side door as my spot for putting my food..oh and the bottom little crisper I've claimed that as mines as well...that is where I put my food, now if I happen to go and the fridge later on in the day and I see my food gone...(yeah some jerk moved it around before)...so now I'm officially banging...

if I open the fridge and see someones food in my spot, I'm moving it... and I wish somebody would touch what I move...lol... and if someone moves my stuff...I'll move it again....keep tempting me and I'm gonna throw ya crap in the trash...

I also decided that if I see jello and other things in there and they've been sitting untouched and unopened for over two weeks and they look yummy to me and lack a name,...I think I will start marking them with my name and moving them to my spot... but one thing I won't do is eat other peoples homemade food...

isn't that just gross...we have people who will eat turkey sandwiches that other co-workers made at home...are you really that hungry to risk your life by eating what somebody else made....you don't know if they washed their stankin hands or if they even made it on a clean counter with a clean knife...that is such a big risk...

good luck with that... so I must say if any homemade food comes up missing ...like the ja-fakin shaggy says, ..."it wasn't me"...but if you had a little microwave dinner and suddenly you see one with my name on it...well lesson learn is you should put your name on your food suckas...

I'm like the crips of the fridge, I'm in control..so until then....g's up...lol

peace and happy friday...

random #889977 - I like martini shakers...I have about four different ones and each time I'm at pier one or somewhere else I feel like I should buy another one...shot glasses and shakers...all I'm missing is a nice bar but I'm in search of one...then I'll name myself the unofficial ghetto bartender...lol

alright 5 more mintues for recess then it is nap time....

2007-04-02T23:09:00.000-06:00

So I switch desk with the bird, and put the cry baby by the window...

I sit near EC (eye candy), and the bird and cry baby enjoy the window, now all is happy...better yet I even get to babysit now. I see what everyone is doing all day...and I can't see the face of the cry baby or the bird now that they face the window and the only face I do see is EC when he turns around ..which I'm not mad about that, that is a delightful thing...but funny thing he is a big Kobe Bryant fan...if Kobe ever comes up missing ...I think I might know what closet he is located in... I'm starting to think if any girl wants EC to fall in love with them...they better come with a Kobe mask and a Bryant Laker's jersey or he won't even care when you dump him...(or at least that is how I think it is...I think he broke up with his ex because she went to Vegas in Feb. and didn't bring him back a pic and signature of Kobe...lol ...well not that extreme but you get the point right)

so lucky me, today I got no hubby phone calls or text message while pretending to work (I guess me watching them makes them think twice about the slacking). Still I notice one thing, the bird goes extremly slow when working,...why??? the heifa is trying to rack up on overtime, so she saves her work until she is getting time and a half...

OH Hell Naw!!! Say What!!!...

so I handle that though,...I told her to go when it was time to go (she still manage to drag her feet for another 30 mins..which is fine, I'll make her leave early on friday).....I usually make her work late...nope not anymore, if you can't get your work done at night, that is cool..go and come tomorrow you can finish in the morning since you seem to be bored enough to text in the morning...because I realize that she does it on purpose trying to get overtime...which in the end I'm the one having to justified to my boss and the partners about her staying late and I'm not trying to hear it..so I made sure it was time for her to go and it will be that way from now on...

I also notice some time clock slacking..but with me near the door I'm able to watch them punch out now.."don't mind if I do"...see if they would have left well enough alone last week with the Diva like attitudes they would have never seen the warden and they could still be running that good hustle that so many at my job run...but now "They cut off!!!"....teach them to piss me off around E.O.M...

now unto my Bruins..

man,...they got their asses handed to them..but I don't feel so bad since not only did my Bruins get it, but that Ohio State...poor babies...football and basketball..Ya' gets no respect...

but enough of the sports...

lunch time..well when I was able to pull myself from my desk for a second (at 5 pm...yeah today suck that much..I'm usually going home at 5 ugghhh)...so I ended up at Mad Greens... if you don't know what Mad Greens is, it is the place where they make over priced salads...the salad is da' bomb...but still you come off $3.00 dollars alone just for lettuce and that ain't right.

well I was trying to get back to my work quick though so I went to grab lunch at Mad Greens... didn't know it...but there is a cutie in the "over-priced salad" shop...only thing was he had busted teeth..but if sexy just doesn't talk and smiles with his mouth close showing those dimples...they could get a sista to eat there a little more often going poor spending her money on $10 dollar salads she can make at home..... he did have a sexy voice..so I guess if can look past the teeth he is cute...hell...I think when he start to talk just close your eyes..and when he stops open them while he is smiling with his mouth closed and you'll have the perfect man....lol

what else happen today...an old white guy in a wheel chair tired to mack me down...lol....I'm not mad at him...lol...but I did put a little switch in my hips and walked a little faster...he had a hoover round so I was praying he didn't hit high speed on me and try to catch up...lol

well...weekend news...

my boo was sick all week...I was so drunk friday I kept telling people that I had to get home cause on saturday I wanted to make him home made chicken noodle soup and fedex it to him...lol...(now that I think about it...it seems so funny, that goes to show you I was out of it friday)...um ...then saturday I realize me fedex soup isn't such a hot ideal...lol..he is still sick..I feel so bad for him...

Still I have too much fun on friday...we ended up at Heartrob...I have to stop doing happy hour..last time I was at Heartrob, I was hungry and tired and drinking which made me sleepy... so at 12:00 I decided to sleep in the car, and it was the best sleep ever...

this time though I made sure to eat before I drank...but I like to take this time out to Thank three people...

the two djs...Rallo (I think that is how you spell it) and Chief Rocka for playing the song...and last but not least T-pain for making the song...(buy you a drank)

I never had that many men buy me a drank who were not over forty and I wasn't in a club full of sugar daddies...

I think that is why I was having too much fun...

Oh true story...(I was showing my ass off on friday...not like that..but I was showing out)...

So I was dancing with this guy who was cool..asked me about being single..I told him no...he's like, "damn the good ones are always taken"...lol...so he left me..but another guy wanted to dance...so I dance with him...afterwards he was like "do you want a shot??? let's take a shot,..", so I agreed and we headed to the bar...I seen my sister and she touched me so I stop to talk to her...so the guy looks pissed that I stop to talk and keeps walking..I thought he was going to the bar in front of us, turns out he went to the bar on the other side of the club so I walked over there, he was standing by some other chick... so I didn't think anything of it since lots of people stand by the bar..so I walk up to him and I'm like "hey.".. no he didn't just act like my daddy...he gonna tell me, "you can go back over there I'll bring the drink to you"....

ain't gonna happen...so I was like, "no, I'm right here just order them"...he gets an attitude..that is when I realize he was trying to mack down honey at the bar...cool but nigga don't treat me like ya baby mamma when you just met me cause you want to talk to her...I'm not trying to go home with you...but he had bass in his voice... I don't like bass in a man's voice commanding me to do things when he don't know me...so I try to talk to him calmly, but he was just rude and was straight treating me like "Look Just Go Back Over There And I'll Bring the Drinks Like I Said..." then he turns around to talk to the other chick like I was stalking him and bothering him..... Say What!!!...I didn't like his attitude...he should have learned how to show me some respect... so I did the only reasonable thing somebody named Januari would do...(or at least I think so)...

I said, "Excuse me, bartender..*while bending over the get the bartender attention of course*...Um I'd like two shots of Kamikazes and he is buying *I pointed to the asshole to my left, who was so caught up in macking down honey he was trying to brush me off*..." so the bartender comes back with the drinks...then goes to make someone elses drink ...you know how they are when they are busy... so I took one shot, set the other by him...tapped him on the shoulder told him here is your shot, and you owe the bartender for both of them...and gave him deuces to the back of the neck..he was so busy showing out for honey love he didn't even want to turn around and hear what I was saying...which was cool for me ...because by the time the bartender made his way back to collect his cash I was gone... and I'm sure he was pissed for me ordering and running on his tab...but that goes to show you, moral of the story...

there is no moral of this story..but just another to add to the record of club foolishness I've manage to get into over the years....(y'all thought I slowed down with age....I guess not though)...

but if any of you guys ever run into that asshole trying to show out...

tell em I said, " thanks for the Kamikaze bitch, next time take that bass out ya voice" ...

I guess when I go to the club now...I should put up a sign that say "Warning!!! piss Januari off when she is drinking and she might just piss in your parade, like Kels when he gets around underage girls"

also one thing I notice while going out it I don't know who is responsible for it...but some store has a sell on one wig in particular...ones that are long and curled with red streaks in black hair??? this wig right here ---->>>

why???? because at the club there were of lot of unclaimed baby mammas walking around with that same damn wig..and who ever is selling them , is a great sales man or woman because I think yesterday I seen a dog with that same wig on...and if you can talk a dog into buying that wig (which is very wiggish looking and isn't really cute) than you have to be good at talking....could probably talk a blind man into buying binoculars...but I'm still sure that wig store has a deep discount on black wigs with red streaks...I just wish they stop selling them though... by the way...baby mammas also must have got the deep discount on this wig too...cause for sure this was always their "homegirl", (temporary best friend for that week...y'all know how baby mamma switch best friends) hair style...

(that just goes to show you great minds think alike...or at least tacky ones...)

peace and cheers to wild nights (I have to get them out of me now...so that I have good stories to tell later to my children's children)

random fact # 9654 - I love baskets..any type of basket... wooden basket, wire ones, plastic basket for holding socks....I just like basket..every time I see some I want to buy them but then I realize I have enough baskets and what am I gonna put in more basket???...I don't know but I think I could never have enough basket...

This Tuesday, some eye candy saved my co-workers lives...

2007-03-28T00:41:00.000-06:00

Yup that is right...real talk...

this morning I woke up ready to neck chop someone today...

Well see this is the problem I just got back from vacation and I can't even do my own work because one girl is sick and the other is just slow as hell...which I don't get it...she has been working with us for a while (step ya game up son???)

so there I walk into the building in a not so chipper mood, until I realize that they hired eye candy. yum yum, double yum...

yeah see over my vacation they decided to hire me another worker without my approval...they always do that...but funny thing unlike before where they hire women who dress bad when all I ever ask for is a man and for them to make him cute...um, yeah this time they hired a man and boy is he oh so sexy.

and yeah if it wasn't for eye candy at work..(that is his name now)...um I would have choked someone today or showed up at a certain sick person house to drag them into work. Nonetheless there he was smelling good, looking good, sounding good, just chatting it up with me...

see and since I'm his boss I have to train him, but it is hard cause he distracst me..and we were doing so well...he was being shy and quiet and not talking but then he looked into my eyes... (I must remember tomorrow at work to put a disclaimer on the door for the men in the office...*warning !!! looking into Januari's eyes might produce urges to buy her new shoes*)...that is what happen to my boo also.... he looked into the eyes and it was over....so anyways, after that, eye candy pretty much talked all day, turns out he knows my brother (my brother always knows the cuties)...we are the same age, grew up in the same neighborhood and know a lot of the same people...I forget to get his number though..(but not in that way..."I got a man, what ya man gotta do with me?, I got a man,...." -you'll be singing it tomorrow)...but I have to get his number because just like my other workers I need to know when they plan on playing hooky or if they happen to be sick a sista appericates a call at 9:00 at night or 3:00 in the morning telling me you not coming so I know that I have to pick up the slack.....

but yeah eye candy was telling me everything, where he lived, where his brother lives, where his grandma lives,...

I was playing it cool though ...but then shorty was just laying it on thick...you know I'm nosy...I should have just not asked but he went shopping and I can't help but to asks people what they have brought when they go shopping...so he shows me the tie he brought...

cute, cute...but then he says, he has to learn how to tie his own ties cause this morning he needed some help and had someone help him...

now why you wanna go and do that luv huh?...I wanted to say something but I just let it go while my little devils on both shoulder was egging me on...

one was saying, Januari tell him you can teach him how to tie his own ties... and the other was saying just offer to be his personal tie knotter-er boo? (you know me all up close on his good smelling neck doesn't seems so bad right...) but I just suggest that he bring in ties to leave at work since he says he hates wearing ties... that way I didn't suggest anything or say anything that might get me in trouble later on...

well since I'm his boss..that wouldn't be wise to flirt...(I did a little but harmless as it was...Januari flirts with all the guys at work so what is new)..but yeah...so I just let it go....plus I likes my babe mores and I think of calling him in the morning before anybody else...and I like to talk to him in the morning before anybody else...now days they don't even tell me good morning at work unless they know I've walked in with the phone to my ear and a smile on my face....but still...eye candy was saying a lot....

like I know what type of clubs eye candy hangs out at, I know he is child free, lives alone, and he laughs at my jokes,....(I be at work thinking who can I hook cutie up with...??? I got single girlfirends he might like)

but yeah those girls at work (and a few men I know) can sure enough thank mr. eye candy,...and eye candy's brother who was my work crush who use to work on the ghetto side of the office and my boo.... for these sexy men saved their lives today...because if it wasn't for men that smell good and with sexy voices...I would have established my foot in a few asses today...and I wore black to work today just in case a funeral was gonna go down....cuz not even gum was cheering me up on this tantrum tuesday...

oh yeah...don't get me wrong, this tuesday I had a tantrum...from not wanting to get up this morning, to no being able to talk to my boo cause he was in meetings all morning...and to dealing with stupid men from past relationship talking to me and acting like asses...and from working from 8 - 7 with not taking a lunch break and eating at my desk...all the work I had to deal with.....oh it was a black tuesday...still who can stay grumpy with sunshine around...

I know I can't

peace & bamboon earrings..( at least two pairs)

januari

random fact #589898 - I tend to analyze people hand writings...did you dot your i's.... and how high did you cross your t's.... and do you write 'i' in lower case or 'I' in upper case?...(oh the hand writing gods say how you write says a lot about you...)

It's Big, It's Back and Badder than ever!!...Tuesdays is Bluesdays

2007-03-21T00:45:00.001-06:00

So today is Tuesday and that Temper Tantrum is back and wussier and bossier than ever... so yeah, today felt like a rollercoaster ride for me,...some parts were up and others were down...

Yeah I was bitter today...didn't start out that way but... lack of sleep didn't help me. Plus I've spent the last few days sorting out some of my thoughts on current "friendship" (I'm gonna use that term loosely)...but things that I'd like to spare details of as I'd be saying way to much more than I like in a blog. Anyways so one of those friends...we've had a little disagreement in the last few days...so today this person just goes left...what we were talking about was a valid issue but because that person didn't want to discuss something that should be important between us...it turn sour and the end resulted...whoever spit in that person cornflakes ..didn't know that, the person with the spitflakes wouldn't eat them but just passed them bastards down my way for my breakfast..ooohhh...I was feeling so disrespected...

I was so mad I wanted to curse that person out...I wanted to call them up and not give a damn that we were both at work...I wanted to yell and bitch and raise hell this morning ...but I contain myself... figure I'd just cut that person out of my life, why bother with stubborn assholes..

so then I had another friend call all cheery eye and what not...so that kind of help my day... having them be happy about what was going on in their life made me think will things aren't so bad today...so I was feeling good getting my spirits up... and another friend text me...good to see that person is well...change yet another phone number...I dare not ask them why...but if all is well then it is all good....so my happiness was a little better plus it was a lovely, awesome day in Denver...we've had the best spring weather...I can't complain..

so....there I was working hard...knocking work out the way and showing it who was boss...I had work afraid of me and I was kicking works ass...thought I'd take a break and check out the ED House....- except...E had closed the house...I can understand the aracade..but the house??? Say What!!!... I was so hurt...it cut me deep...(well I'm lying but man....it could have in another lifetime somewhere in a dreamland....naw..probably not even then)... I'll live without the ED House but man the memories...it shall be open one day again..but until then y'all can catch me singing...

talking about ...

"A lifetime of memories, going down the drain, I gotsa keep steppin but I can't hold back the pain.....in that Gangsta Lean....."

I know I drive y'all crazy how each blog I put some random old song in your head to leave you singing it for the rest of the day...but I just can't help it....I always have random old song in my head...so if I suffer y'all suffer....

so lets all continue singing...

"...I ttttiiiipppp a foooortttty to ya memmoooorrrry, and I take a drink, and I start to think...."

man that is so deep...telling ya son of ya memory ....so he'll will know and never let go....

sorry I gotta a little carried away thinking about the good times at the ED House..as soon as I found out I couldn't get a crack of randomness from the message board, I went outside and poured at a little of my cherry zero for that gangsta lean (okay ....thats a lie...but y'all know how I was feeling)

Plus on top of that I have a slight cold....Not cool...one day before I leave and my body is begging to just lay down and not feel all achy snakey like...I hope I get over this tomorrow...

I'd like to blog more and I will do some more blogging in the morning...that Kokology some people (many) have been craving...and a blog on work behavior...cause y'all know my life is work so pretty much, that is all my lame butt can really talk about....but until then...wish me better feelings than the crappy ones I had for today...

The New and Improved wussier version of Temper Tantrum Tuesday...oh I had more beef...but I gotta save my enegry for packing..I think I can continue the Tantrum rants tomorrow if I can remeber all the things I had witness to make me laugh a little in the past days and weeks..

peace.

If I fall would you catch me???

2007-03-15T12:30:00.000-06:00

Love is such a risk...I don't mind the risk....

(untitled number 5)

To your arms I drift into a sweet slumber,
as I just want to be your favorite girl,
get caught up in creations of love songs
composed by you, infused through
your movement, while we travel at the
speed of darwin, catch feelings and
reactive instincts, wondering should
we fight or flee.

It is easier for us to live in excuses
so you become the courier and I the brickmaker.
One carrying love to safe havens
out of harms reach, the other
building forts so love cannot start. Therefore
love contracts cannot be breach, later on to only
be lost in pain, and suffering from defeat.

I wanna wishper in your ear all the things
I want you to remember about me while you sleep,
begging the moon to do her magic, make you
crave me when she is gone away,
when I've gone away, when distant gets in our way,
for the times when we lose our way
back to each other arms again to repeat that
midnight magic moon mantra,
that leave us craving each other even after we awake.

so I begin to kiss stars, and bring gifts to the universe,
so that secret wishes will become granted,
little suggestion on the possiblities that maybe on
that flight to safety, you'll lose your footing while the
forces of nature erode away my walls.

so that there we stand in front of each other
souls flawed and naked,
but finding comfort in one another,
knowing that it just us and nothing else left.
we can fall asleep, interwind as lovers,
knowing the places and spaces infinite as we drift
into memories, where we are found together
revolving inside our dreams again.

03/07 copywrite Januari

Crying....there's no crying on wednesday!!!

2007-03-14T13:15:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I haven't been doing the whole temper thing on tuesday....(if you haven't notice yet...my tuesday have been calm)

Yeah well Monday, my stalker called me again (you actually would have to read my myspace blog from about a week ago to understand...comedy works is stalking me).....

and yeah like the abusive relationship we are in they asked for the address....apperantly I have tickets for march 28th...or something like that... of course I can bring 20 friends...and I get to pay $5.00 dollars and a two item min. to see the comedi-antics of Phil Palisoul, I don't know who he is or why in the hell they think he is worth 25 dollars...but my stalker need to step they game up..I wanted tickets to see Joe Rogan or Bruce Bruce damnit!!! Joe Rogan passed but Bruce Bruce will be there on the 23rd to the 25th...why can't I get the "not so deep" discount for those days huh???... hell I've even go for Louis Johnson on April 1st..... I must have the cheapest stalker in stalking history...how can they show me they luv me if they holding out on the goods...this is why they haven't got me as a loyal customer yet....

it is like they are that nerdy guy who ask you out on a date to the local high school basketball game, I'm always gonna tell them I gotta wash my hair...now if they were that nerdy guy who ask me out on a date to get front row seats to the nuggets game...that is another thing...I'm still not gonna like and let them hug me after the game but I will at least let them have that one day....

Please go buy the handbook to proper stalking Comedy Works...cause right now...y'all ain't cutting it...

well...beside that ....I had no tantrums for tuesday....don't worry I have faith that I'll get that bratty tuesdays blues back again one day...I miss those rants...

lets see, today is wed. officially a week to go before I'm loving the sun in tampa...

I gotta get packing, I have lots and lots of dresses and skirts so it shall be easy to just put them in a suitcase...plus I noticed a few item in my closet still with tags on them,...I should put some of those to good use. I wanna go shopping for sandals but, I got enough shoes...I need to wear them and quit trying to find reasons to shop. Oh and of course florida equals swimsuit...I think I'll throw a few in for that "just in case" we end up on a beach...(you know I'm a mall girl over a beach girl but my skin needs as much sun as it can get.) Still it has been pretty good, it is spring and my legs have color which makes me happy because usually they don't look so hot and I have to tan them...lol

I found a pager (ha ha) and a cell phone for the par-tay...

I did see a few brick phones ...

but I'm not trying to pay $200 for a non-working brick just for the party...so instead I did find one of those big ass flip phones from the 90's for a dollar....

....

speaking of bricks cell phones...do you know that they make them now, an updated version...(same look as before but it comes with a color screen and I'm guessing the cell phone works.. you know ring tones, text messaging and all that fancy smancy stuff.....
....)...

you can get one here at... www.daydeal.com....

(just my luck they are out of stock right now...SAY WHAT!!!!...damn)...

of course it is made by the chinese and you can only get user manual in chinese...I don't speak chinese...but when was the last time I actually read a user manual...ha ha... I'll just press buttons and what not until I find my way around...cause I'm getting me one of these joints for sure...the brick goes tuff...

and personally I'm all over that, I am so getting a brick this summer...lol and I'm gonna call all my lovelies on my phone..so for those of you who have not given me your numba's I'm gonna need those soon so I can call ya on my brick......I am going to be a one woman revolution to bring the brick back...not only is it a communication device, you can use it as a weapon against purse snatchers....can't hate it for that... and I just can't wait to get one so that if I'm ever in public with one of my lovelies...I will pull it out and talk on it...thought you'd be embarrased to be seen with me before, wait till I rock the brick...hell I already carry a purse so big that I could fit myself in it...might as well get a stupid big phone for a big ass purse.

So back to the par-tay...I think I've come up with the perfect outfit...see I couldn't decide if I should rock my clothes backwards and go for the Kris Kross look...or if I should do the TLC whole condom thing...(at least with that...the people who come...while on their way out the door of my house could grab a sucker and condom and have a safe night thanks to me...)... I was also thinking the Kwame pattern abuse would be nice...I'm a sucker for polk-a-dots... and I even consider to do the whole...MJB look.....but after consideration ...
my final soultion....

jellies or nikes (haven't narrowed it down yet)

stonewash (if I can find some..)...or any type of pleated high waisted tapered jeans (souldn't be hard to find at ross or a thrift store *I hate that ross store sometimes*....and of course I will crease them bitches)

bodysuit (nothing is sexier than snapping your shirt between your legs like your rockin a one-sie) or a oversize nike logo t-shirt...only if I rock the nikes though (gotta do it right)

I'm gonna need some gold y'all (I'd like an herringbone)

and some locs - black on black and thick like the ones eazy-e wears in straight outta compton....

oh and my pager and phone... now that is what's up...

oh yeah...for those of you coming...I better see y'all in your best old school fits...that is why I warned ya ahead of time...so get to looking for your outfits...

fellas.--- please tell me y'all been growing out the boxes and slopes and gumbies...tell me y'all rocking the tails in the back again...(at least do it for me...and do it for the kids *if not for me*...lol)

and don't be acting like y'all too good for the old school ish...because my sister says this party is gonna be live...

"it's gonna get "raw-er" than hot sushi, so haters to the left" ...

I gotta quit watchin 30 Rock but that is my show...

I spend at least half my day quoting it... I gotta stop that though...the problem is...I just love 30 Rock...

if it was man I'd let it take me out back behind the middle school and get me pregnant....lol

Okay enough of that...

Work...

let's see...why do people at work always asking me what I'm listening to like they are gonna know the artist...

Random person: "what are you listening to buddy?? (they don't say buddy but I'm trying to create that cornball effect here)

Me: Raheem Devaughn

results - they walk away looking confused

Random person 2: "ooh what song are you listening to??"

Me:I'm not going back, its a Nas song... (like they even know the artist...they don't know no damn stinking Nas)

results - they walk away feeling dumb and un-cool

Random person 3: " are you listening to some Snoop???"

Me: *now I want to seriously give them the finger but....* No I don't listen to Snoop at work, I don't even own a Snoop cd. (I always give them my confused..what you think all black people are the same look after this)

results - they walk away afraid they insulted me...start to grip butter knife closely in break room every time I walk past.

wtf??? now they know, them and I don't listen to the same music...I can listen to what they are listening to because I have no problem and I do like rock.... so when the radio is on...sometimes I listen to it...but just like the urban top 40 who likes to play Jim Jones every 5 mins.... listening to Green Day being play every 5 mins can get annoying especially when Green Day has more than one good song...

still why do they think they will know what I'm listening to...I put headphones on for a reason...because I know you won't like what I wanna hear...so stop the chit chat and keep humming your Elton John lyrics damnit...

I think next time someone ask me that question I'm just gonna start telling everybody I'm listening to Prince's - erotic city... hell I'll even pretend to sing the song....they will see my lips moving and they will be able to tell what part I'm on cause all they will read from my lips is...."we can f#(%! until the sun, makin luv til cherry's gone...".....lol...

and every now and then they will pass me in the hallway my lips will be singing "woooaaaa, woooaaa, wooooaaahhh woooaa, wooooaahhh ooohhhh oh...."... lol

hell.... I'll even walk past them smiling like Prince does, and giving them the eyes...

y'all know the eyes he gives the chicks in "under the cherry moon"... when jerome tells him to ....I think I gotta start wearing black eye liner really heavy so when I give them the eyes and smile it just creeps them out...

that'll teach bastards to inquire about my music selections at work...I'll just make everybody uncomfortable as I act like an over the top Prince fanatic....sounds like a plan.

Peace and Fresh (I crossed my arms and did my b-girl stand after the Fresh...I know y'all will respect that)

Jan Jan

random fact #9009 - I love gum, you can always catch me chewing on some gum and I'm always buying it...my day without gum wouldn't be complete...hell...

if gum were a man, I let it take me out back behind the middle school and get me pregnant...

untitled #303

2007-03-04T23:43:00.001-07:00

Blackness

In the Deep Concave Lenses
of your Eyes,
I search to find the Root
of this Blessing
to share your Essence.
Where I can see Africa in your Blood,
Brazil in you Smile,
Jamaica in your Hair,
Cuba in your Fight,
Suppleness in your Hips
Groove as if Swinging
to a Haitian Voodu Chant.
And if Ogu lives inside
as the Reason,
I must be ready to learn the
Possession of Ezili.
Cause I'm willing to devote
my Time into Studying you
Religiously.
Making Sacrifices of Heart,
Searching
Searching
and Searching
for a Soulution.
A Purpose to
Oppose Oppressed Feelings,
Subconcious Santeria Songs,
Create Melodies of Lullabies,
Food for my mind's Movement.
Stripping me of this
Continent's Synthetic Life
and all its Shallowness.
I want to stay Pure,
to Preserve the Gifts Received.
Grace to Beauty given to me.
More than just a Revolutionary Spur
of the Moment Thrill.
I can't Wash my Skin of your Color,
this Earthly Brown Hue,
I can't seem to Wash my Soul Either,
of this Naturalness.

januari harris - copywrite 2002

-----------------------------------------

(I wrote this when I was like 18...I don't think I ever shared it anywhere....)

Soul Children

Millions of little black children
baked in a pie
shackled feet, some broken bones
they still gonna fly.

Hold down the seeds, the peers, grandchildren
they are not a part of this cruel world
that they live in.
constantly they strive to stay alive,
no matter what happens
they still gonna fly.

Above the high rises and the barbwired
fences, hiding in the trenches,
emenies attack from all sides, but
they still gonna fly.

Dodging the drugs and the thugs,
gotta escape this world of hate
to break into the sky of love.
Destiny waiting behind gray clouds
If they make it thru this world they'll
make mother earth proud.
Waking up daily to live
instead of die, some way
they still gonna fly.

Little black children of future and past,
build memories that last.
revolutions to change the earth,
style brought forth at birth.
making statements
when things get hard
refusing to cry,
fly soul children
be beautiful, strong and fly.

januari harris - copywrite 2000

Damn that Pavlov!!!

2007-02-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

So I was grumpy on Friday...so grumpy, that I swore it could have been temper tantrum tuesday??? So I was thinking wtf? I went to work happy, put on some new clothes....but I just turned out grumpy...I was wondering what was really good, why was I so angry like someone pissed in my cheerios...???

But then it came to me...I looked to the desk catty-corner and there was the bird lady in her tuesday fits...yeah, she wore tuesday outfit on friday. So I guess it is safe to say I was trained like that damn dog with a bell...only difference is that my mood reacts to the days I've come to associate with her clothes....tuesday I'm usually grumpy and her wearing tuesday's clothes put me in my tues. mood... crazy I know...I was upset that I was trained....whatever...so I laugh it off and got back with friday...went shopping as we did have a field trip planned for that day,...she actually brought a new shirt and pants "praise santa!!"...But then come Monday and she had on her monday gear...dratz!!!...today she mixed and mingle...new top with old bottoms..y'all know tues. bottoms has a tiny ass rippage...I really think she should recycle those pants...but I think she thinks they make her look hot..(go head girl, go head get down....)..but since she had on half of tuesday...I was semi angry today...(wait that is a lie)...I was postal today....I wasn't trying to be but something about tuesday's put me in a funky mood...

But whatever is whatever...

this weekend I spent it watching a lot of bad black b-movies comedies....I must say...it has inspired me one day to produce my own...that is my dream...I watch...

Da block party and Da block party II....umm...the second one suck bad, but the first was funny....

but it got me to thinking...with all the bad black b-movies comedies...(some were not meant to be comedies...but were funny just the same)... I watch so many that I should be able to make one of my own...for example, they all have a few things in common...

#1 Mavericks Entertainment ...yup if you make one, you will probably want mavericks or name on it, they are like the MGM, ACME, of bad movies...

#2 Any man who starts in the movie must live with his momma or girl who is taking care of his no job having ass.... (having a job means this movie can never be made, as who wants to see a black man at work)

#3 The story has to start on a friday morning....of course with the star aka some loser guy sleep in his tiny ass bed in his tiny ass room.

#4 He must have a friend who is funny/scary acting/stays at home with his momma too and he also must lack a j.o. bizzo and the skills to get girls...or he has to be a hoe...(hoe's are good) -- his friend has to be a bad influence

#5 No movie is complete with a crazy baby momma who is stalking this guy...and she too must be a hoe.

#6 You need a cute, smart, good girl (which translates to, a light skinned (gotta say light skinned...) chick..who isn't really cuter than other girls but guys like her???...

#7 You need a crazy momma, grandma, daddy...somebody in the family who is just backwards and out of control

#8 You need thugs as no movie is complete without some thugs

#9 You need at least one scene that is like a scene out of the cult following Friday,...they like to take parts of Friday and put them in the movies all the type...popular choices seem to be the porch scene with them getting high, the peeping in the bedroom scene...the flashback scene... daddy encourging loser to not give up scene...eating up all the food scene....the list can go forever...I think I'd use the truck scene after running from being shot...

and last but not least (well there are more qualites but I'm stopping at 10)

10# The movie must not have any sort of plot and if it does,....it must not make any sense how everything happens...like if the loser find money or a winning lotto ticket, someone will know it happen regardless of if they were alone when it went down

bonus *you must make old people look old by adding five dollar grey wigs from 707 beauty and hair supply stores to their look....make sure you put the wig on a 20 year old and let them play grandma...just goes to prove that black don't crack*

well...there you have it....if I make a movie...will you guys be my actors???

Lights, Camera, Action

2007-02-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

*Smells like LIKE A PILE O' BULLSHIT!!!* - (Gummo)

so my luck with the restrooms at work this week has just been crappy (pun intentend)...so it seems like every time I go in there,....someone has forget to flush the toliet in one of the random stalls...mind you, sometimes it is a number #1 that is lingering around and other times it is a #2 and even #3's have been left behind that are not only still fresh in the stall but the smell starts to soak deep into the air. How rude of some skanky woman to use the restroom and do such things....so I quit going to ours, but decided to try my luck on the floor below us...um not good either, one day I walk in to become greeting by a bag of blue funk.. (....lol....I've been singing Heavy D songs all day, they are stuck in my head??... crazy thing though, I went to go find the lyrics to Blue Funk...they are nowhere to be found...which you think some nerd would have typed them up by now...back in the days cds came with the lyrics...especially Heavy D's ...so can someone please take the time out to put Blue Funk on OHHLA so I can know the whole song next time...lol) ...back to what I was saying.... so yeah, I'm on one floor below only to have someone in the restroom with a sour stomach,...she needed to wait untill I left before she wanted to do that...so all this week I've been juggling between the two restrooms,..someone even had the nerve to do a shit and no flush on the other floor's restroom (the floor below us)...on top of that I'm in the restroom on our floor where I work and another person walks in and enter the stalls only to let out the most raunchy sounds...(I know when you gotta go, you gotta.....) but it was so loud, I wanted to fix my hair and put on some lotion after washing my hands but decided it was best if I jetted before the smell caught up with the sounds. I've even walked into the restroom before to see women come out the stalls and not wash hands or nothing but just leave....*eeeewwweee, no one wants your poopoo stains on the restroom door*.....I might have to find another floor to take a tinkle break on...like the second floor or something...they have a few floors in the south tower that I'm sure no one will question my guest apperance...but man I'm not trying to evey day go from the north tower to the south tower 23rd floor just to get a nice clean restroom...but I've been thinking, when can I get a break from the nastiness??? ..I just might have to start scheduling the 2rd floor or the 23rd (I think the 18th and 21st floors look pretty nice too...) but I need a different floor to do my restroom breaks at.... might find me riding the elevators until I find a nice looking floor and stake my claim on the stalls...lol

*Now that's a biter* - (Beat Street)

Last thrusday since I've been slackin on working out and not having time, I've decided to take up the art of taking the stairs at work instead of the elevators...now this is a killer since I have 7 flights of stairs and each step is concrete and is about 5 inches in height ...but yeah I've been sticking to it and I'm proud of me, like I've counted how many steps I do going up and down.... going down the stairs I start from the 8th floor and it is offically 150 steps I'm going down each time... coming up the stairs I can only go to the 7th floor since the 8th floor is locked and only the 2nd and 7th floor have public access to the stairwell...so I do 130 steps going up each time I take the stairs...and I do it about twice or three times out of the day...once in the morning when I get to work, once for lunch and if I go downstairs on breaks I take the stairs down and back up...now I've never seen anyone use these stairs unless it was a fire drill...but now a week into my journey, I've seen a lot of people hanging out on my steps today...ain't that some bull..quit acting like y'all gangsta.... y'all can't be me, it's real out here, people who take the stairs live raw, we live ruff...you trying to show out and take them too will have you getting your feelings hurt when you run out breath on the second floor, ...they don't know that taking the stairs is for professional and I take them in my heels...if they are not serious about it then don't be wasting time blocking my path...someone must have not told them "if you can't swim than you're bound to drizz-own" (<---quote from: don't be a menance)...I'm serious about my techiques and I wonder how many of them will last on the steps routine? (I'll give them a few days until I'll have my peace and quiet again.) ..trying to bite off of my style...they ain't serious as I've notice they out there walking up the steps with nachos in their hands....

*yo, that's Bill Mutha-fucking Murry* - (coffee and cigarettes)

So this past month has felt like ground hog day... well not because it's february or anything like that but, see the bird lady recycles clothes...and I mean...certain outfits for certain days... I blogged about it on blogspot but was to lazy to post it here.... I know what you were wearing last summer... ...so yeah she has an monday outfit thru friday outfit...

But enough of that....I have another question I'm wondering about... for example the Bird Lady at my j.o.bizzo... she is okay a nice person...but she is always trying to impress the people we work with.....see y'all know I like to shop...its no secret, so she makes a statement about how she did some major shopping about 3 weeks ago, said she brought new pants (7 pairs to be exact) and shirts and blahzay blahzay... I'm thinking cool...cause I like to see people look good...

3 weeks later, fast forward to today...I have yet to see her wear anything different than what she wore the first week she started....like she actually has designated days for certain outfits and I'm not the only one noticing....

Monday - she wears this t-shirt (um...dress code clearly states t-shirt shouldn't be worn,...even on casual friday) but the t-shirt is red, and over size and hangs off her shoulder and you can see her white bra strap (eewwwee...not right) and these black ashy pants...

Tuesday - she becomes part of the black is the new tacky loud print crew ...(for some reason the women at my job like black ...but it doesn't make them look smaller because they all wear tight black clothes that show muffin tops and whatnot..some wear pants so high they become best friend with the underwire in their bras..whatever)...but yeah she wears a tight black shirt that shows every minor dent, pot hole, speed bump and unattractive part of anybody's body parts...not flattering at all...she wears these brownish black strech pants with the shirt even though the blacks don't match and yeah the pants show just as much as the top...and I think they are starting to rip in the ass...I hope she isn't here the day those pants give way...(she has a thing for spandex)...

but I was just wondering when she gets dress if she does the full body turn around...( I had a roommate who would laugh at me because I do that when I get dress.. but think about it...how you gonna let your front look good but not worry about weather the back of your clothes look decent??? people gotta see you coming and going right?)

Wed. - is her day for the pink sheer shirt and the black tight shirt up under it...and once again some black tight ashy pants just like the previous two days....

Thrusday - she wear this blue horizontal shirt with black and blue in it...kind of a knitted sweater type of oversize shirt....( all her shirts are oversized....this drives me crazy)...what type of pants with it??? you guessed it..I think these are the same black pants she wears on Mondays.

and

Friday - she wears her black calf high "puss and boots" with these blue pants tucked into them and a red t-shirt once again...a different t-shirt but still oversized nonetheless. ... at least this one doesn't hang off the shoulder or show her bra....

still I think she has been here 5 weeks straight and hasn't changed up that routine....

so yeah she wear this every week and it never changes...I was getting use to it.... as it would tell me what day is what....so monday she had that day off for president's day...I'm the only one who worked, the girls didn't have to..... so tuesday comes and this chick comes in her monday outfit... SAY WHAT!!!!.... ooohhhh I was so heated,...she was messing my days up, you just can't switch up your outfit index and not warn a sista...man I thought tuesday was monday because of that...she got me so upset...I had a temper tantrum tuesday..but I was so mad I couldn't even blog about it... (yeah it was bad...well not that extreme, but she threw me off)... so I thought maybe she'll skip tuesday's outfit and go wear her wed. on that day...nope...she come to work in thrusday's outfit..and had the nerve to waltz in today with fri.'s gear on....man she is so wrong from that..how am I supppose to keep track of the days if she isn't being my live calender?? well tomorrow we take a field trip to look at clothes and shoes at Ross ...maybe she'll buy something, but I doubt it... (I don't get it though, she stays with her dad...she doesn't have to pay rent or anything...*so she says daddy takes care of her*....she goes to school but says her school is all paid for...so what is she spending her money on???)... word on the street - straight from her mouth is that she has a gift card but has yet to use it....if she not gonna use her gift card from christmas...I can take it off her hands for her, before they start taking fees out of it...I can use a new pair of shoes...I need sandals for tampa in march and I'm gonna need new shoes for the summer...she betta get on it quick.

Also...since she has wore her monday thru friday outfits...what outfit do you guys think she'll wear tomorrow...I'm voting with her tues. gear (maybe she has a hot date)...do you think she'll wear tues, wed. or something new.... *take note she hasn't wore the blue fri. pants so..I'm guessing she'll wear the black tues. shirt with the pants and boot combo...I hope she wears that because the pink sheer with the black shirt and blue pants and black boots....wouldn't be to hot-a-official* I'll keep y'all posted though.

peace loves
Ju Ju.

random fact #890 - I tend to read magazine backwards...I think because it started with vibe and espn...(I like to read the 21 question first...and in espn I like to read the q&a then work my way to the front...)

It looks like somebody has a bad case of the .....

2007-02-16T13:14:00.001-07:00

FROWNIES.......

(raises her hand frantically, points to face...it's me, it's me!!)

well..not right now...but I did spend a little time in Frown Town yesterday. See I think it all started from when I had just done that blog about my mentee leaving me "broken hearted" that I wrote on my blog I keep on myspace... and since I was talking about, my secret newly developed high school crush... on Mr. Loves the Kids....

I guess it carried over into the dream I had...(cause you know you usually dream about what is on your mind last)...he must have been there inside my mind...since in this dream, sexy sexy was my boo, ...it was a good dream til I woke up and realized that I'd been hustled by my mind...now that ain't right...why you wanna go and do that luv??? huh,....

Anyways I have to say that was one of my most disappointed times waking up after a dream, ....the first dream, that still holds the record is when I dreamed of shopping and there was this cute shirt I had brought that I looked hot in...only to wake up....now that ain't right...I woke up to go searching the closet thinking that was what I'd wear that day...maybe one day me and that dream will reunite.

So yeah I was down a little, feeling like 15 year old Monica singing about it being "Just one of those days"...cause it was...and I hope nobody took it personal yesterday, but I'm sure someone did. But then I realize my problems were not so big...which made me realize that it could be worst, yeah I had the frownies, the sad face, the slumps for no reason...but there are people out there who should be sad but are not...

But enough of that....I have another question I'm wondering about... for example the Bird Lady at my j.o.bizzo... she is okay a nice person...but she is always trying to impress the people we work with.....see y'all know I like to shop...its no secret, so she makes a statement about how she did some major shopping about 3 weeks ago, said she brought new pants (7 pairs to be exact) and shirts and blahzay blahzay... I'm thinking cool...cause I like to see people look good...

3 weeks later, fast forward to today...I have yet to see her wear anything different than what she wore the first week she started....like she actually has designated days for certain outfits and I'm not the only one noticing....

Monday - she wears this t-shirt (um...dress code clearly states t-shirt shouldn't be worn,...even on casual friday) but the t-shirt is red, and over size and hangs off her shoulder and you can see her white bra strap (eewwwee...not right) and these black ashy pants...

Tuesday - she becomes part of the black is the new tacky loud print crew ...(for some reason the women at my job like black ...but it doesn't make them look smaller because they all wear tight black clothes that show muffin tops and whatnot..some wear pants so high they become best friend with the underwire in their bras..whatever)...but yeah she wears a tight black shirt that shows every minor dent, pot hole, speed bump and unattractive part of anybody's body parts...not flattering at all...she wears these brownish black strech pants with the shirt even though the blacks don't match and yeah the pants show just as much as the top...and I think they are starting to rip in the ass...I hope she isn't here the day those pants give way...(she has a thing for spandex)...

but I was just wondering when she gets dress if she does the full body turn around...( I had a roommate who would laugh at me because I do that when I get dress.. but think about it...how you gonna let your front look good but not worry about weather the back of your clothes look decent??? people gotta see you coming and going right?)

Wed. - is her day for the pink sheer shirt and the black tight shirt up under it...and once again some black tight ashy pants just like the previous two days....

Thrusday - she wear this blue horizontal shirt with black and blue in it...kind of a knitted sweater type of oversize shirt....( all her shirts are oversized....this drives me crazy)...what type of pants with it??? you guessed it..I think these are the same black pants she wears on Mondays.

and

Friday - she wears her black calf high "puss and boots" with these blue pants tucked into them and a red t-shirt once again...a different t-shirt but still oversized nonetheless. ... at least this one doesn't hang off the shoulder or show her bra....

still I think she has been here 5 weeks straight and hasn't changed up that routine....

but that just got me to thinking...she need clothes... I got clothes I need to get rid of, why not give them to her...

Only problem, I don't know what size she is (I have a lot of clothes I can't fit any more - thanks to my Kanye West workout plan....*I'm not on that plan...but I do have one*),... still she might be able to fit some pants but as for shirts...she has a lot more boobage to work with than I do...

But I still have some shirts that I know her boobage can work its way into.

Now I just don't know how to go about asking her if she want to have some of my clothes that I don't need any more and since it is time for my spring cleaning of my closet I need to get rid of them.

I usually give them to other people who want them, sometimes to my brother in law so he can send them to haiti...still I don't know how funny some people can be when it comes to taking clothes from another person....

personally me, if it is cute, more power to you for letting me have it...but not everyone feels that way. She might not have any different outfits cause she feels it is work and why should she care...or she could be a cheap woman who doesn't shop...or she could spend her money on something else...or she might not be able to afford them...

Still .....sometimes people act funny when you offer them things....

Do y'all think I should just go ahead and offer them to her...?

My niece always tells me I'm not the boss of her.

2007-02-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

That may or may not be true (I can still outsmart her)...and at least I can write a poem about her.

The Drama Queen

If she were a superhero,
she would posses the ability to
make large amounts of things
mysteriously disappear.
as she has holes in her ears,
information goes in one, comes out the other.
and the holes in her mouth, food comes in and
ten minutes later, she asking what can she eat again.
and the magical talent of fast hands as
anything in her hands, she'd wave and tada it was gone.
only she knows that the magic words of abracadabra will
get the keys to walk out of toy boxes into
your hands when you've misplaced them.
she can even make herself disappear,
one moment she watching a my little pony movie,
then silence comes, and you know she has left without
a trace into thin air, off fighting a battle again.
she could be making sure the evil ice cream in the
refrigerator isn't becoming to powerful while
eating it into invisible status into her mouth, before
you've noticed it is gone and that there was a
possible terror alert of the ice cream ruling
your house to begin with.
if she is quiet than be aware, she is crime fighting trouble,
or more likely creating trouble she could get into.
I once watched her eat 5 bowls of cereal in one night
only to finish it off with spaghetti, and
all she did was grow taller, which means
it will take more for her to eat just to get her full, and
she will then just keep growing taller.
to think she is only four, imagine at seven when her
skills become even more profound.
she'll be able to clean out bank accounts on
barbies and at 12 she teach others her superhero
powers during secret meetings called slumber parties,
so when 18 comes she may rule the mall.
when shoes, and clothes, and purses will disappear inside bags
and into closets where the clothes will discuss plans to overthrow
the room government and claim the room as their own.
but no villain is too tough for her, as she is persistent at
everything she does, while most days she doesn't know
what she wants, she is willing to try everything.
but be aware if she likes it, then she'll so hide it.
maybe as she grows she'll use her superhero powers for
good and make dirty dishes disappear out of sinks and
and get things removed off of floors that belong on bookshelves,
maybe at 18 instead of ruling the mall
devouring clothes into car trunks,
at 18 she'll decide to use her powers on society
and help out the community,
while producing the talent of eliminating unwanted problems.
but who knows, since she is strong already at four, so
probably in 14 more years she'll be able to conquer both
the mall and the community,
at least one can only dream of the possibility.

copywrite Januari-02/2007

Flashback Friday: Its back like those funky phonics (open)

2007-02-10T00:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you guys know that I mention special guests bloggers right? Well I figured I should do a 2 for 1...bring back the flashback friday(for the new subscribers...that is where I tell a story from the past about my life, sort of like the wonder years minus me having a crush on a white girl name wendy) Well our last flashback friday...I promise the story of "bridemaid's gone wild" ...it will happen but not this time around...I'll save that story for another guest...let me explain..I've combine my guest bloggers with flashback fri...meaning they will narrate the flashback as told by me, but in their voices of course with the ad-libing and changing whatever they feel is fit to make my story much cooler....without further ado...first up is the one and only grown ass childishness at it's finest...Jim Jones...

*sidenote...sometimes my guest get out of control and I gotta put them in place...if you see the asteriks...that is me doing a control check*

take it away Jimmy...

Yo' blog capo fam, whats up!!!

today's blog is brought to you by the one and only, Jimmy (ballin)

this flashback friday is called Da' Muthaphuckin Delphonics (capo status)

*stop...wait ....um Jimmy this is a blog that teens read, please keep it clean*

It's cool, I'mma keep it clean. (bird gang)...

So it was around august, and katrina had just passed her stankin ass (hoe) through new orleans leaving niggas homeless. A lot of niggas ended up in wack ass denver (they got black folks there?)

*um..denver is not wack and yes jimmy we black folks live in colorado*

so yeah beside fine white bunnies (paris hiltons).. colorado had katrina victims. But they weren't the only niggas to wash in with the hurricane, the Delphonics somehow got a little money from singing the hook on Ghostface album and decided to come to denver (ballin)

now any muthafuckin-body would be ready to see the delphonics (not as much as they love Jimmy). So there they were, walking into Herbs with a pimp stroll, and the chinchila and hoes

*um...jimmy thats wasn't chinchila but more like rat tree fur..and those were super old hoes*

yeah yeah...well...the delphonics get up on stage and start to perform, these niggas start doing old temptation dance moves, they had off beat dance routines...

now at Herbs, the stage is 2 feet away from the seats, there isn't really a stage just a section where people don't walk in a certain area...and that is the stage or what they call the stage in this very small bar, so the delphonics pelvic thrust was all up in the audience face each time they would walk four feet ahead and air humped the crowd...(crowd was having meetings the delphonics balls)

Well the first night it was cool (like dipset, dipset) to hear the delphonics sing in that high girly pitch to la'la'la...they don't really have any real songs...so they started to make up songs....(that's how I do too..just make up songs about Gay Z - get it Jay Z is Gay Z...ha ha)

so about a week past and the delphonics show they stankin ass up in the spot again, strollin with those hoes again, trying to get on the mic again. which was cool cause the people who missed them last time got to see them this time.

so about another week past and yup, there were the delphonics again, showin they stanking ass up in the spot again, people started to wonder when was they going home..hell they said they was just stopping thru colorado... but they was acting like they was staying for good. so there they were with the stank old hoes, making up 10 min birthday songs(we stay fly, no lie)...

I tell you the day the delphonics packed up they shit and went back to philly was the best day ever...maybe Pretty Toney ask them to sing on another album about fish...but all I know is two months later long and over due, they were gone faster than me at rucker's park while Killa got his ass beat. (dipset, dipset)

but that is another story for another time...

This story written by Yours Truly was brought to you in the voice of the realest and oldest and too damn grown to be gangbangin one and only Jim Jones (bird gang, capo status, ballin)

*hmmm...lets all thank Jimmy for the story.....and even the added co-signing also done by himself.*

until next time...peace...hope you enjoyed...

stay tune when next flashback friday twista brings you bridesmaids gone wild....

Temper Tantrum Tuesday (now what was I saying again???)

2007-02-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

Okay ....so today is tuesday, and there is no temper tantrum going on...

Say What!!!

that is right...everything is mellow but I do have things I worry about, my class for one... I'm doing wonderful in one class and sucking in the other right now...I gotta get it together or get out that class all together...I might opt for the second option...but I don't want too...

I think I can do it (I hope you all believe I can too)...but you guys just won't see me anymore...and yesh...you will miss me when I'm gone.

My Girl is doing fine, she is passing all her classes...even though the heifa stood me up last week, she did email afterwards..but I was just amaze at how she manage to ditch her first period class (not really ...I've done that before)...but her sister is in the same class and manage to show up...I know they came to school together. I let her have her one day to ditch,...she is lucky I wasn't in a pissy mood though, cause I was tempted in my right mind to go and find her, ...and believe me...I would have found whatever area she decided to ditch in,...becuase anywhere she was at, I probably ditched there often.... she don't know but I would be in gym locker rooms, classrooms, back hallways, city park, downstairs, 4th floor, lunch room, the gym itself, the detention room (not because I had it...but I was hanging out - sometimes even sat in there just to talk to the detention teacher - they really shouldn't have hired young guys in their 20s/30s to watch after a bunch of high school kids)....

if I could be anywhere but certain classes on some days...then you wouldn't find me cause I would ditch. And let a fire drill happen....I'm going to get ice cream from across the street so I can eat it in class when I come back late from the fire drill...and if it is 8th period or lunch time...I'm not coming back from no fire drill....

So yeah... I can't tell her these things as I want to encourage her to go to class, but she don't know,... ditch on me again and I will find you. (After I pretend that I'm lost and have to ask that cute tall teacher *or whatever he does at the school*-- for directions around the school...I almost did one day but it was a day that I look like I was ditching class myself.. and I was wearing that dorky badge that makes me look like I go to the high school and do things like paint my face red and white on fridays and scream out things like "08" and write things like "Juniors rule, class of '08' is great" on my car windows... when I don't do any of these things because I may look younger than some of the girls but I'm old enough to be their hot older much good looking sister....lol... but yeah I didn't talk to the cute guy who is tall and works there because I didn't want him to think some high school girl was trying to mack and hang.)

Find myself ending up in detention at 25, --- sitting there mad, my job would be calling me like, "um Januari, are you coming in today??"... I'd be saying, "yeah, but I'den got caught up in some b#lls#!%"...

I could see me in detention now..just eyeing the detention teacher, (cause you know they always hire some young black man in his 20s/30s to watch high school kids)...I'm in there flirting with him like, "hey sunshine..."

(okay let me stop with the 3 Strikes quotes)

But I wasn't bad in high school...I was a nerd and a dork...yeah and I still am one. Don't get me wrong though..I had good grades, (I had great grades)...it was just that I took personal days off to do other things. But if you are in high school reading this,...ditching is bad, it makes you develop bad habits for the future like calling in sick to work to go shopping instead for a outfit for the club on saturday for the all white party. So don't ditch as it will lead to you losing money shopping when you could have been making money from working (unless you have personal time and your day is paid for...now thats how I do it)

Well ...this blog was going somewhere at 10:00 am when I first set out to write it..but it has just turned into a pointless ramble...
if you stuck around this long...then I know you'll stick around next time, when my blog is brought to you by a guest blogger...

the one and only Jimmy... Yup Jim Jones is writing the next blog...so stay tune,....

I'm doing it way big for the guest bloggers...

I got Twista to do one, Killa Kam, as just a few famous names to name...oh...y'all gonna love this...

peace
Jan

Stranger things have happen.

2007-02-04T01:33:00.000-07:00

So this week I've seen a few weird things...

(not like this doesn't happen often, but I thought I'd share) - let's refer to them as Crap-offical/Wack-offical events...

Wack-offical #1. So the friday before this one that past, I wanted to buy a powerball ticket since the jackpot was so high and I have a high powerball ticket buying habit...I know I'm throwing my money away but so what I only do a dollar and it isn't every week or twice a week...it is just something I do every now and then. - Well anyways, it was my lunch break and I decided to get out of the office, so I grab my card and phone, left my purse and everything else and headed to qdoba...on my way back I stopped at 7-11 for a soda, decided to get a ticket for the powerball drawing saturday. Do you know this heifa ask me for ID, ...at first I couldn't understand her cause her english was wack and she had to repeat it like twice before I did understand. I'm thinking that she had to be kidding...even if I look under 18, why is she hating on lottery tickets, not like I can cash it if I win if I was underage, and if I was I'd find an adult to cash it. Anyways I didn't have my ID cause it was at work...so I didn't argue but just left and told her I'll buy it somewhere else. Which I did when I walked into the store in the building I work in....I should have asked her for ID...I know she living in America illegal, but whatever.

Crap-offical #2 - Me and a co-worker decided to go to rite-aid as she had to pick up something for her son. There we were in the deodorant aisle, when I look over to see they have the Old Spice and Axe products on lock-down...behind a glass case where you gotta get a rite-aid worker to open it up like they were head phones or cigarettes. WHAT!!!....how loser can you be to lock up some deodorant?

First off, it only cost 3.29...(yeah I study the price while laughing) ...now take it the Speed Stick cost over 4 dollars and they lock up the Old Spice and Axe...

Second, - we might want some people to steal deodorant,...ain't nothing wrong with trying to smell delightful.

Third, Virgin records is a block over and they give away free samples of Axe like it is crack and they are drug dealers trying to get new clients. I'm just saying if someone is really press for some deodorant, they would just go to Virgin and pick up a few free samples out of the extra stupid big tower of Axe deodorant. Every time I go to Virgin they throw about 4 samples in my bag and I'm a woman and don't wear Axe...therefore I have many in my house just in case I get vistors who might want some....

rite-aid locking up deodorant is acting like that family member with the 10 years old 50 inch floor model t.v. who tells you not to channel surf on their expensive big screen cause you gonna mess up the screen (that by-the-way lacks high definition)... or the 50 year old man with the 1989 BMW with new tags is acting like his car is more fly than the guy next to him in his 2007 M300.....Stop tripping your not high class....whatever.

Wack-offical #3 - So me and my sis. and her boyfriend go to dinner at this chinese place. The food was great, but the place is around the corner from my moms place..so when she called, we told her to come and join us. Well, me and my sister order drinks... I get the singapore sling, and she gets the planters punch. Our waitress comes out with the drinks but she feels confused a little on who should get what....so she say the orange drink is the singapore sling...I take it, and then she hands my sister the other one, which was a pink color. We taste each others drinks, we agree they were good but we both like the orange colored singapore sling most. My mom shows up and orders and also gets a drink...she points to my drink and says, "I'll take the singapore sling", after tasting both and asking us what they were. A different waitress took my moms drink order...so when she comes back to the table, she shows up with the pink colored drink. We are all wondering now if the first girl got the drinks wrong,..so we are like okay, that was weird. Another waitress different from the first two comes around and ask if we want another drink. Me and my sis. are like sure...but since we both wanted the orange colored drink and my mom had just order a singapore sling and ended up with the pink colored drink, we decided to ask for the planters punch. Do you know the last chick came out with that same pink colored drink...??? So yeah...I don't know what the orange colored drink at Ming Dynasty is.... but I started to get the feeling if we would have order a apple-tini we probably would have ended up with the same pink colored drink...whatever

peace & Da Bomb (my boss brought bagels friday, ...he only took half of his bagel...do you know when he came back to get the other half,.... he is all like, "that honey almond cream cheese is da bomb...") - I didn't know people still said that but they do...apperantly...and I have to thank him as he is keeping my revolution to bring back 90's slang alive...

random fact #1441 - When I lose one earring to a pair, I don't throw away the other one, but instead I throw it in my single and ready to mingle group of earrings... (my single earrings I then pair up with other singles and yeah...I do wear mix match earrings every once in a while...you might see me with my flower earring from cancun my sister brought me in one ear and my ankh made of ivory from atlanta in the other ear.) ...I know it is weird ...

Im only handing out bubble gum and ass whoopings, and I fresh out of bubble gum tonight.

2007-01-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

So today I go to my inbox to read some mail from someone on my friend list...

HEY J, FROM A FRIEND TO A FRIEND, YOUR HAIR BEING ALL OVER YOUR HEAD ISNT CUTE, LOL PLEASE JUST GO AND COMB YOUR HAIR, DONT TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY

(WTF...which way am I suppose to take that comment??? Maybe I'm just over reacting...*but if I feel disprected then that should be respected..cause that is right...I'm grown - Truth Hurts from the song Grown*)

Now this message came from a guy whom I have more of a personal type of "more than just friends" relationship with...like more of Buddy type of relationship (you know, we've seen each other naked, done a few things woke up beside each other cuddling...we've talked about moving closer to each other, getting closer to each other..but that was the past)...

So I was upset as now I've never commented on his unhealty eating habits as a friend...like eating high calorie dinners at 9:00 pm every night. I've never said anything about his need to go around posing his whole life trying to impress others, while I'm the type of girl who like to love myself and careless about how others see me these days unless your family.

But damn, disrespect my hair choice, that ain't right.

Little does he know, he doesn't know yours truly too well...5 years ago, quiet inscure me would have just brushed this off...but I'm grown...I've posted pictures of my face busted...

I've insulted co-workers...

what he don't think I'll get rawdy with him...

Anyways... I started a blog to post my life, the good, the bad, and the things that I fear or love...pretty much everything without hiding anything. Yeah I was scared when I first started blogging, I let people see a rare part of me, but I've loved it....my grumpy side, my goofy side and I plan on sharing everything as truthful as I can be. I was really feeling this guy, had a crush on him until he said that... even express to him I was feeling him, we've had our ups and downs with each other, as sometimes he'd want more from me when I wasn't ready and vice versa...but to take it there showed me he is so shallow.

I've had guys who've felt I was beautiful in the morning after we've awoke to each other with my hair all on my face, even made me feel sexy when I wasn't feeling that way.

I've had a guy still be crazy about me after I'd throw up during sex,....(now that is embarrassing) but we still got along well. while even guys from my past that I've dated, I can run into today and they dig the hair, just like they liked it when it was long and permed ....

or short and blonde.

I've never met a man who was that shallow where he was only digging me because of a certain hairstyle as this person has made hints and made it clear to me,...I'd be prettier if I permed my hair again and let it grow out long.

One, my hair is longer than the inch I first cut it...

but I like it as it is in an afro...

it won't change today or tomorrow or 10 years from now....I might braid it, twist it, throw on a wig every now and then.

(that is me with a wig on of course)

I might spend a day in chairs getting it pressed, but at the end of the night.... if I'm sweating, I want my hair to be kinky, natural and free like my personality.

With that being said...remember this is my life I've chose to share with the world...as my friends I like to include those in each part of my life in the stories I share with the world about me... I'll mention names every now and then...as a friend here is a warning...do good by me and I'll brag to the world...upset me and I'm gonna make it rain...

why...

Cause I'm grown....lmao

peace

Januar

(I promsied I used this nickname giving by the man I'll never meet beside hearing his voice...unless it is at a wedding and I'm seated next to Adam)

Show the winter some respect, it don't like yo attitude!!!!

2007-01-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been m.i.a.....

But I'm trying to get back on the ball,

Between school and work and whatnot, things can get a little crazy at times. Still I get to go out every now and then....last night happen to be one of those nights.

In Denver the whether has been in the 10 degrees area...Yeah we've been freezing our butts off, so yesterday when it got up to 40 degrees, it felt good. Only problem is, chicks seem to mistake a little sun for the summer...what is up with that?

What you think just because the sun come out that winter ain't alive and kicking...it is cold and currently the snow is running the show ladies. I just have one thing to say...

I don't think the winter likes yo attitude...Show the winter some respect!!! (apperently I'm aware most of you won't understand this quote unless you've seen the movie Screwed... by the way you can get that movie at walmart for cheap in the 2 for 11)

But really, women in summer clothes while there is a foot of snow on the ground...do you think you're big time to the point that you don't have to follow winter's rules. You think jack frost won't bite yo ass? I walked out the house with two shirts on and was still freezing so I know you have to be cold in your spaghetti string summer dress over pants...and the fact that your flimsy shirt isn't even cute,...it was on sale for 4.99 for a reason at charlotte russe, because it belongs in the summer, save it for june...

and when the sun comes out don't be quick to put on those damn furry boots you caught on sale at macy in july...tree-rat fur should not be worn around ankles before october and after march... (well it should never be worn but if you must wear it...then keep it in the cold months)....

cause when summer comes, you need to give it the same respect you gave winter...

now start showing the winter some respect and buy a cute sweather or nice jacket and scarf with some cute boots (minus the rat tree fur around the ankles)...believe me...even if you don't think it is possible...you can still look sexy and cute with full warm comfortable clothes on.

peace
Januari

Kokology (puzzle number 2)

2007-01-04T02:03:00.000-07:00

The Japanese game of self discovery...

A Night at the Symphony:

There's is something special about a night at the symphony, a feel of expectation and pleasure...

Imagine being able to take a place on the stage among the other musicians, a chance to perform at your best.

If you could join the orchestra, what instrument do you see yourself playing?

1.Violin

2. String Bass

3. Trumpet

4. Flute

***my answer*** I've always like String Bass, it such a huge instrument to take on and I like the deep tone it brings... if I was on stage and knew how to play one, I for sure be up on that String Bass.

The key to the symphony...the answers to each choice. (remember to highlight the below portion to get the answers)

have fun....

Musical instruments are symbolic of members of the opposite sex. The pairing of you and the instrument show how what you chose gives insight to what you think of as your strongest lovemaking technique.

1. Violin: The violin demands sensitive fingerwork and a gentle touch with the bow to draw forth music from taut strings. You see yourself as having the same awareness and skill in locating and playing upon your partners' most sensitive points. There is a sense of adventure in the way your hands can create such beautiful music by running over familiar notes.

2.String bass: There's a feeling of power gotten from taking position behind an enormous bass and making it call out in a tremendous moan. In love, your skill rests in the ability to bend your partners to your will while having complete control and driving them onward to pleasure they never felt they could have experience. You never ask permission, still your dominating personality make you so irresistible.

3.Trumpet: It is safe to say that your mouth is your strongest weapon in your arsenal. Whether it is whispering in you partner's ear or exploring them with your lips, you have all the characteristics of the oral personality.

4.Flute: The flute demands incredible patience from those who want to master it. You show the same care and patience in the way you wear down partners with your persistence, diligence and stamina. Your lovers are often taken off guard when what they thought would be a brief recital quickly develops into a full concerto in six movements.

peace and sunshine

Januari

(I'm on an anti-random for the week...but I will resume the random-ness after the 7th)

oh yeah....hmmm...yeah ...I have to agree...I think I like to be in control so I guess it is accurate...strangely. Do you agree with your choice?

2007-01-02T23:58:00.000-07:00

Kokology is a Japanese psychological quiz game, the key is to answer simple normal question as truthful as possible. These question based on your answer are suppose to give you insight to something about yourself more personal.... kind of like a self-discovery. Even if you don't believe it to be true, it is still fun to try a question or two and see if you agree or learn something new, or enjoy just doing it for fun.

I wanted to blog today ...but something lighthearted so...this is it.... I have a few Kokology question that I will post over the next couple of days,... (in order to find out what your answers reveal about you ...or if your curious to see what my answers reveal about me...high light the section below each question to see the meaning.)

Now I answer my question truthfully and this is my first time seeing any of the questions and answers I post...hopefully you do the same, answer first and reveal later....and share with a comment, as we all want to know what you believe....

Have fun.

question number 1: Planting the seeds

The human spirit loves a challenge. This desire to overcome may be the secret to our success as a species......
You are an eminent scientist who has been working to develop a new species of a plant... (lets name it januari jr night blooms *or at least that's what I'd name my plant*...ha ha) ...anyways, you've spent years in your lab on experiments and now your efforts have begun to show results. As the ultimate test of your creation, you plant 100 seeds of the new strain in an inhospitable desert location.

How many of those 100 seed sprout? (Give a number from 0 to 100.)

I would say that at least 87 out of my 100 januari jr. night blooms would survive in a desert *I wonder if that is a good or bad thing....I don't care, I think I'd make a tough flower just like the owner, but really you can't win them all so 87 is a good number*

Highlight the below section for the answer....

The number you gave as an answer correlates to your self-confidence level. In the story the scientist stands for feeling of confidence and even pride. The desert represent a test and feeling of doubt. Peole who answer with high number have high cofidence levels. While those with lower numbers feel the challenge to great and have lower self-confidence.

scale:
99-100: You're past self-cofidence, mater of fact more likely vain. It is good to believe in yourself, but you tend to dismiss the challenges of the rest of the world. Don't forget that one of the truest signs of strength is accepting one's own weakness.
81-98: You have cofidence in yourself but it doesn't come across as arrogance. People around you feel it as a sense of cool certanity, making you a natural leader.
61-80: You're best described as cautious optimist, you hope for the best but prepare for the worst. That is what keeps you grounded when others lose their heads in the clouds.
41-60: Your self-confidence is in the average range, your not cocky or unsure of yourself. You could be still finding out about yourself or you might just have a healty respect for what life brings you. But if you believe in yourself, other will too.
21-40: You don't doubt yourself but you ten to overestimate the challenges in front of you. You have a tendency to excuse this as a simple resignation to the facts. While the way you sometimes look down on yourself affects the way other people see you, the only way other will trust in you is if you begin to trust in yourself.
1-20: Being humble is a honest quality but you need to focus on developing a better sense of your own value. There's nothing wrong with believing you can achieve great things, and with a little hard work you can. You are the person holding yourself back.
0: What seems like a lack of confidence is actually a sign of perfectionist pride. Your not comfortable with the thought of being wrong or even making a mistake so you pretend that everything is too hard. If you never learn to face those fears, you may trick everyone else into thinking you're just a ne'er-do-well, while you know that you've never tried to begin with.

Well hope you have enjoyed...until next time

Peace and soul power.

J.J.

(no random today, my nose still has a boo boo)

Your face is cracked and on the ground.

2007-01-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

So I hope every is well and your new year was brought in right... Mines was a long night and lets just say even though a lot of things sucked I'm happy to survive yet another year.

So new years eve my fam decided to go to the Thuggets game, I enjoyed the game, we had club level seats and the view was beautiful. Only thing was the Thuggets lost in the last minutes of the game, so that sucked. It was great to see A.I. in action though, just means I can't wait for Melo to make it back on the court I will be back to see those two play together. Another thing though is I was mad cuz I had invited a date (my not-boyfriend) and he stood me up... now I wouldn't have cared so much but who in the hell passes up a $62 dollar ticket? I was so mad because I had talk to him the day before and he could have told me that day he wasn't coming, or even when I called him 3 hours before the game his punk ass could have told me then as I could have found someome to give the ticket to three hours before the game. So I had a extra ticket that went to waste...but I just took it as I'll never offer him anything free again.

So two of my favorite teams lost the Thuggets and the Broncos... so that was a bummer, especially since that lost takes the Broncos out of the playoffs.

Any how so after the Thuggets game we endend up going to Jazz at Jacks to see Future Jazz Project play. It was great and we had fun, the music was nice and they had free food so ya know that was a plus. Any how this new years eve came with the good...

Club seats at the game, Listening to good music to bring in the new year, being with family to bring in the new year, a couple of more days til my birthday...

but sadly it also came with the bad...

this morning I'm sure I wasn't the only one to cry after hearing the news of Darrent Williams (broncos conerback) being killed at 2 am today. R.I.P pretty boy with the golden smile and that southern accent... I will miss you as I'm sure others will too... 9.27.1982 - 1.1.2007

it is a shame how pettiness and little boys with guns can take aways something precious like a life and not think twice about it before they pull out a gun.

but this is a new year so we must keep moving.

and last but not least ....the strange and things that can't be made up...

So last night after getting home I admit I was past tispy I was drunk. Any how I was getting along just fine, I was able to make it down the dangerous step to the basement. I was able to take off my shoes and coat and set down my purse. I was thinking how things were going great when all of a sudden I decide to change into my jamas for bed when there I am in the dark like a silly child walking and dressing. I felt that I know what the basement looks like so I can do this in the dark...reminded myself to avoid the chair... only problem is I didn't do such a good job at avoiding the chair. So halfway through dressing with my arms being wrapped up in clothes I tripped over the chair. Since my arms weren't there the only thing to break my fall was my face and yes it was a long fall. I'm thankful I didn't snap my neck or anything but I thought I got a little face bruise. I got up and continue to get dress and went to sleep. Except durning the night I had a potty break and went to the bathroom, I wasn't gonna click on the light but silly me felt like I should be daring and do it... so when I get up to wash my hands and look up I was shocked to find that my fall was more than just a fall... that chair kicked my ass. I got a rug burn on my face,a bruised nose (which I think might be broken, hurts like hell) and a busted lip just to name a few of the marks. But what type of person would I be if I didn't take pictures...so yup... my face is cracked and on the ground,...looks like I've had a brick in my face. But I still look good with the marks (it just certifieds I'm a cutie cuz who could look busted and still be cute...lol I'm getting full of myself here.)...beside the marks just add to my toughness and street cred... (at least I think ...lol)... I must admit I'm a mess though and wish someone could kiss my boo boos for me, but I'll survive.

my fam says they are gonna report my spousal abuse, and they are not buying my chair story (well they are)...but they keep teasing me about being beat up. I probably should have got some head-on to apply directly to the forehead. But neosporian will do just fine.

peace and be safe

(I know I will pratice less tripping over objects and self-spousal abuse)

hardcore jan (I figured with the face I can now claim hardcore-ism)

random fact #2007: I figure for 2007 first resolution is to no longer do clubs period..not even the exceptions for friend birthdays...its just way to dangerous with ignorant people...(I'm upset about what happen this morning to Williams after the club...I'll stick to my sushi bars and lounges and pool halls.)

We know it's a blizzard but we own yo ass now.

2006-12-27T22:43:00.000-07:00

So it is reported that Colorado,.... the denver metro, the mountains and foothills will be getting much more snow...

Yeah another blizzard is want they are saying with at least 7 inches to 14 inches in Denver alone.

This sucks...as we haven't even got rid of the first snow... yesterday Jeezy the snow man was shot in a "sunshine" drive-by.. he now lays on the ground with his platinum teeth gaffled by local thugs... I'm sadden by this sad news...

so for the weather man to say it will snow again makes me want to cry (as I'm tired of the damn snow)...but I also know that with another snow, it could be the operation Jeezy so needs to live.

it is like a bittersweet victory... a love and hate story between me and that white powder... as I have things to do and if that white powder starts to mess with my plans this weekend... I'm gonna be sad,... but then again.... I do miss how sexy Jeezy would sweat in the snow, leaning sideways slowly from getting blown off the sunshine rays in his bottle of special brew...

But enough of that... I'm not here to talk about the death and rebirth of Jeezy but about the blizzard that is due for Thursday.

So I know your wondering about the title..here it goes...

With the blizzard coming my #3 just so happen to be told by her job a list of things to bring to work...

A sleeping bag, toothbrush, clothes,...you know, things to survive being stranded in a blizzard...

only problem is...why if there is a blizzard would a job think that their workers want to work through it... in a blizzard people want to be at home drinking and snuggling or drinking and sleeping...but I never sat in my house last week thinking, "man, I wish I was stuck at work right now..."

crazy bastard...if my j.o.bizzo told me some shizznit like that, I tell them, "if I'm sleeping here, I'm staying clocked in through the night"...I'm gonna sleep while getting paid. It's only fair that way...any other way,... you can believe the minute it starts to snow, the kid will come down with a sudden fever of home-sickness that would involve me stopping by the LQ before going home... the lynchburg lemonade would be my medicine to recovery.

So all I'm saying is tomorrow..be safe, stay safe enough to make it home, cause the best place of a blizzard is under the covers in your own bed.

Don't let the job own you...you own the j.o.bizzo...

peace-

Janni

random fact #227: one of the songs on my playlist is Pete Wingfield - "eighteen with a bullet"... I like that song.. :)